Questions for "masculine\staight gays"

annony4

Hi,

I know that according to stereotypes fem gays end up with fem gays and the straight-looking masculine gays end up with other masculine gays. Some say it's because masculine gays are disgusted from fem gays.

First I'd like to know what exactly is disgusting about them? Cross-dressing? Make up? heels? Loudness? body shape? Way of acting?

I don't do all that but I'm still considered fem because of my feminine facial features, delicate skin, long hair and probably the way I act (because most people can tell I'm gay, even my parents lol...).
Anyway, bottom line is: Do I still stand a chance in finding love among the masculine/straight gays, or do I have to be just like them?

And I know there are plenty of other gay types like bears,those in between and bi's. I'm just really attracted to the "masculine" ones

And one last question: How does that work in a masculine to masculine guy relationship? I mean, when I come to think of it they are basically a replica of each other, isn't it boring?

LegacyUser

annony4 wrote: »

Hi,

And one last question: How does that work in a masculine to masculine guy relationship? I mean, when I come to think of it they are basically a replica of each other, isn't it boring?

Labels like the ones you're referring to only go so deep, nobody is a "replica" of another person. Yeah of course you have a chance of meeting a masculine man that you desire but if you're looking for real love, you won't find it by seeking out a label.

ongarboy

Agree completely with the above poster. OP - try not to generalise and assume "masculine" gays are disgusted by "fem" gays. Many may not fancy fem gays but that doesn't mean they are disgusted by them. Also, assuming two masculine guys together equals a boring relationship would be like assuming two Dublin guys or two football players or two Kylie fans together equal a boring relationship. There are millions of variables that make up a successful relationship.

You say the way you "act" may be offputting (do you mean the way you naturally are or the way you "act" or "put on"?) Acting means portraying something you naturally aren't. I would think if you mean "put on" camp mannerisms, maybe instead of putting on, try being natural as it would project a more genuine appeal to others. Of course if you are naturally camp and effeminate, there is nothing wrong with that too but you just need to make yourself more open to those that are attracted to those traits - there will be someone among those who you will like. Wanting to be with someone who doesn't like natural attributes about you is not the ingredient for a successful relationship, IMO.

Dr. Baltar

I'm not exactly macho man randy savage but I'm definitely not a queen. The idea that masculine gays end up with masculine gays is pretty untrue in my opinion.

I would be attracted to feminine looking men but to answer question:

First I'd like to know what exactly is disgusting about them? Cross-dressing? Make up? heels? Loudness? body shape? Way of acting?

Cross Dressing = Massive Turn Off
Make Up = Massive Turn Off
Loudness = Massive Turn Off
Body Shape = Good thing!
Way of Acting = If someone is camp (As opposed to feminine) it's a massive turn off.

But that's just me. There could be "masculine" men who would find everything i've said as a turn on a turn off and vice versa. Everyone's different. There's no bears, twinks, fems... I'm me, and you're you.

brian93

Cross-dressing? Absolutely not
Make up? If it's not noticeable!
heels? no
Loudness? preferably not
Way of acting? masculine, but don't mind feminine. personally dislike overly feminine/camp men though!

Do I still stand a chance in finding love among the masculine/straight gays, or do I have to be just like them? I think you do. a nice feminine man is as nice to know as a nice mascline man

How does that work in a masculine to masculine guy relationship? I mean, when I come to think of it they are basically a replica of each other, isn't it boring? Ridiculous question IMO. Masculine men have so much in common. Same interests etc. Think best friend and lover wrapped in one.

annony4

dejjnnb5b wrote: »

Labels like the ones you're referring to only go so deep, nobody is a "replica" of another person. Yeah of course you have a chance of meeting a masculine man that you desire but if you're looking for real love, you won't find it by seeking out a label.

ongarboy wrote: »

Agree completely with the above poster. OP - try not to generalise and assume "masculine" gays are disgusted by "fem" gays. Many may not fancy fem gays but that doesn't mean they are disgusted by them. Also, assuming two masculine guys together equals a boring relationship would be like assuming two Dublin guys or two football players or two Kylie fans together equal a boring relationship. There are millions of variables that make up a successful relationship.

I'm not labeling anything... As I was saying: "according to stereotypes". I know that a stereotype doesn't apply to all people, but if a stereotype itself exists it means there are people that fall under that stereotype, might be minority or majority. That's why I was asking 'masculine' gays, to see if they really fall under that stereotype and if so: why.

And I get that relationship thing, it was just something that popped in my mind as I was typing.

ongarboy wrote: »

You say the way you "act" may be offputting (do you mean the way you naturally are or the way you "act" or "put on"?) Acting means portraying something you naturally aren't. I would think if you mean "put on" camp mannerisms, maybe instead of putting on, try being natural as it would project a more genuine appeal to others. Of course if you are naturally camp and effeminate, there is nothing wrong with that too but you just need to make yourself more open to those that are attracted to those traits - there will be someone among those who you will like. Wanting to be with someone who doesn't like natural attributes about you is not the ingredient for a successful relationship, IMO.

It's my natural behavior. I don't really know what camp gays are but people tell me I "act" like a girl. Simplest example is when I sit with my legs closed and crossed and people look at me weirdly. I guess I'm just a fem gay without the dresses, heels, make up, nail polish, loudness, "heyy gurll, you lookin' fierce" and such.

Dr. Baltar wrote: »

I'm not exactly macho man randy savage but I'm definitely not a queen. The idea that masculine gays end up with masculine gays is pretty untrue in my opinion.

I would be attracted to feminine looking men but to answer question:




Cross Dressing = Massive Turn Off
Make Up = Massive Turn Off
Loudness = Massive Turn Off
Body Shape = Good thing!
Way of Acting = If someone is camp (As opposed to feminine) it's a massive turn off.

But that's just me. There could be "masculine" men who would find everything i've said as a turn on a turn off and vice versa. Everyone's different. There's no bears, twinks, fems... I'm me, and you're you.

Thanks

Donnaghm

I think Im middle of the road as far as the fem/masculine spectrum goesand id go in either direction as long as theyre sound, interesting etc.

Aard

As evidenced by the fact, OP, that there even exist guys who like guys, I don't think it's too far removed that therein there may be "masculine" gays who are into "feminine" gays.

Though not exactly an authority, take a look at gaydar to see the diversity (for want of a better word) out there.

Liberal Irishman

annony4 wrote: »

Hi,

I don't do all that but I'm still considered fem because of my feminine facial features, delicate skin, long hair and probably the way I act (because most people can tell I'm gay, even my parents lol...).
Anyway, bottom line is: Do I still stand a chance in finding love among the masculine/straight gays, or do I have to be just like them?

While not being an expert in any way I would imagine that you could observe what it is in yourself that people see as being feminine. If you want to change your behavior slightly, give it a go and see how people react. I think it is important though to remember to always try to ‘be yourself’.

Killer Pigeon

It depends. If you're a Mr. Humphries sort of camp, then I'd probably turn on my heels (and not the stiletto sort of heels either).

Liberal Irishman

Thought about it since my last post. Does anyone think that hanging out with a masculine sort of guy, drinks etc. might encourage someone else to ‘take notice’.

I have found that when you are ‘with’ someone! you somehow seem to become a more attractive proposition to other people!

Just a thought.

Fozzydog3

For me its the contrivedness of most camp men I know thats a turn off , although camp "done right " can be an absolute turn on ,

It's not a rule set in stone , It may just be like minded people go after each other because they have the same interests