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Help make a new religion!

blogga · 2011-07-11 00:23:54

I'm making up a new religion. I need a name for the new god and I need rules. Lots of rules.

11-07-2011 12:23am

#1
blogga

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I'm making up a new religion. I need a name for the new god and I need rules. Lots of rules.

Tagged:

more religion

thou shall not kill time

more atheism less strobe

all hail links234

tag magnet thread

thou shalt always kill

what do tags do anyways?

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Comments

#2 11-07-2011 12:26am

Latchy

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Religion is out of favour at the moement ,come back next year .

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#3 11-07-2011 12:27am

Teutorix

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Rule #1 - thou shall not molest children

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#4 11-07-2011 12:28am

theboss80

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Try Here

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#5 11-07-2011 12:29am

Mr. Denton

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Rule #2 - thou shall not kill unless sanctioned to by thy government.

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#6 11-07-2011 12:31am

Links234

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Linksology.

1st commandment, Links needs hot chocolate with marshmallows, and regular foot rubs.

2nd commandment, don't be a dick.

3rd commandment, bow ties are cool.

Do I have any followers?

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#7 11-07-2011 12:31am

marcsignal

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Thou shalt know what a tracker mortgage is

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#8 11-07-2011 12:33am

Teutorix

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Mr. Denton wrote: »

Rule #2 - thou shall not kill unless sanctioned to by thy government.

Rule #2,subsection-a - Thou shall kill any who would throw thine rabbit into any body of water including rivers, lakes, oceans, etc.

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#9 11-07-2011 12:33am

Badgermonkey

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Market the holy book with a free binder with part 1.

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#10 11-07-2011 12:35am

Senna

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Rule #1. There are no rules.
Rule #2. No txt speak.

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#11 11-07-2011 12:37am

Mr. Rager

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Pornology
It speaks for itself

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#12 11-07-2011 12:37am

theboss80

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Senna wrote: »

Rule #1. There are no rules.
Rule #2. No txt speak.

Fail

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#13 11-07-2011 12:38am

AlmightyCushion

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You have your God right here. We even have a shrine (http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=57915980&postcount=17).

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#14 11-07-2011 12:38am

strokemyclover

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This country already has a new religion. The priests are barmen, the blood of christ is beer, the body: beernuts.

You may laugh but it's better than what it was - the priests: estate agents, the blood of christ: mortgage payments, the body: Tommy Hilfigger merchandise

Either way, those who can't afford to worship shall inherit the debt

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#15 11-07-2011 12:39am

strobe

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How come there isn't a 'more atheism!' tag on this thread yet? Someone's dropped the ball big time.

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#16 11-07-2011 12:40am

Needler

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blogga wrote: »

I'm making up a new religion. I need a name for the new god and I need rules. Lots of rules.

Too late lad Ron L. Hubbard beat you to it. That scam won't work a second time

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#17 11-07-2011 12:43am

Kojak

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Needler wrote: »

Too late lad Ron L. Hubbard beat you to it. That scam won't work a second time

Is he any relation of L Ron Hubbard?

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#18 11-07-2011 12:43am

Yakult

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Hoffanity. The David Hasselhoff Religion

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#19 11-07-2011 12:43am

Chuck Stone

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Do I get to wear a cape?

Yes?

I'm in.

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#20 11-07-2011 12:44am

Needler

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Kojak wrote: »

Is he any relation of L Ron Hubbard?

Same lad after he passed is driving test

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#21 11-07-2011 12:51am

redeight

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I need a name for the new god and I need rules. Lots of rules.

Name of new god : redeight.
Rules : I have lots. Lets start with relinquishing all material assets to your god and then see how we go from there .

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#22 11-07-2011 1:29am

Needler

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redeight wrote: »

Name of new god : redeight.
Rules : I have lots. Lets start with relinquishing all material assets to your god and then see how we go from there .

You have to be more subtle (lad). Getting them to relinquish their assets is fine but it has to be over a long period of time.

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#23 11-07-2011 1:33am

Kojak

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Yakult wrote: »

Hoffanity. The David Hasselhoff Religion

I thought they had that in Germany a few years ago?

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#24 11-07-2011 1:35am

Naikon

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I have dreamt about this once. I would kill for the chance to influence and manipulate the masses.

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#25 11-07-2011 1:36am

Needler

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Naikon wrote: »

I have dreamt about this once. I would kill for the chance to control the masses.

Killing is a good start. If you kill enough you can control the rest

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#26 11-07-2011 1:37am

theboss80

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Naikon wrote: »

I have dreamt about this once. I would kill for the chance to influence and manipulate the masses.

Become a priest?/

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#27 11-07-2011 1:39am

Naikon

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theboss80 wrote: »

Become a priest?/

Do you not need a degree in priest studies or something to that degree?

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#28 11-07-2011 1:52am

redeight

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Needler wrote: »

You have to be more subtle (lad). Getting them to relinquish their assets is fine but it has to be over a long period of time.

Not according to my rules.
The transfer of wealth can be swift.
In fact (according to a rule I just made up ) the speed with which the believers 'donate' their worldly chattels to their new god is directly proportional to the succor they shall receive. (probably)

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#29 11-07-2011 2:31am

KylieWyley

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Thou shalt always kill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4

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#30 11-07-2011 2:36am

IRISH VEGAS

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Kiss my ring

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#31 14-07-2011 7:44pm

SeanW

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blogga wrote: »

I'm making up a new religion. I need a name for the new god and I need rules. Lots of rules.

It's very easy to make a new religion.

Just write a whole load of stuff that doesn't make any sense, oh and most importantly, take over the school system so you can brainwash young children with it!

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#32 14-07-2011 10:48pm

Capt'n Midnight

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Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!

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#33 14-07-2011 10:50pm

richymcdermott

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Assassin creed got it right

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#34 14-07-2011 10:57pm

the groutch

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didn't you hear? we've already converted to Pastafarianism

http://www.businessinsider.com/niko-alm-2011-7

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#35 14-07-2011 11:00pm

Knex*

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There should be one rule, and one rule only:

Don't be a fúcking plonker.

Oh, and you must wear a batman outfit on a Sunday. And fight crime.

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#36 14-07-2011 11:07pm

Hasmunch

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I am decided to become a Pastafarian lately.

Read about the struggles of one of my fellow Pastafarians and his religious discrimination.

Pastafarians believe the world was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who was inebriated at the time, resulting in its flawed design.

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