drunken thing or more?

AshSmith

I'm 20 year old female, met a guy in a club, went back to his parents with our friends, we didnt sleep together but were well on our way to doing so, slept over, was walked to the bus stop (along with my best friend)

Text every couple of days wasn't overly suggestive or flirtatious but there was banter and conversation,tbh I didnt really think much of it at the time just banter back and forth.

However it continued like this, my parents went away so had people over for drinks, we were chatting almost daily over facebook chat (same as before, banter and conversation, not overly suggestive/flirtatious but lots of jokes etc)
I invited him over but not really with s*x in mind but just drinks and general fun.

He came over, me living on the northside and him on the southside, he had to get a bus to town then out to where I live.

Enjoyable night, I was chatting to a friend of mine and in another room he was with my best friend chatting and I came up and he was drunk at this point and asking was I into him and he had presumed he was definately sleeping on couch etc

We ended up in my bed, didnt have sex just like before but was well on the way to doing so, he slept over, woke up next day, had the craic, he wasnt running anywhere, lots of 'moments' you might say of eye contact and then he kissed me a few times, which i was happy about as it wasnt another drunken moment between us, anyways, he got bus home etc.

been texting/fb chatting everyday since (all started by him, he never says hi how are you etc but jumps straight into something we would be laughing about etc) and Im just not sure what to make of it, if it is just a sexual thing I would like to know but if it could possibly be more then I'd welcome it however I am apprehensive as we did meet in a nightclub and both encounters have been in a drinking environment, but some signs show he is into me.

He comes across kind of shy in some ways, but then again im not sure as we havnt spent proper time together.

Any advice?

Canluum

Is he into you? Yeah probably.

Is he shy? Yeah possibly a little. That "so I presume I'm on the couch" bit reeks of it.

Is he looking for a relationship? No way to know without asking him, he may well like you, enjoy your company but only be in the market for a casual friendship/relationship. Nothing wrong with that, depends on the person and their stage of life etc.
Obviously it's a little difficult to ask directly, but there are ways and means. We evolved to be masters of such complex social situations I'm sure you can think of a way to indirectly eek out the information face to face. e.g. playfully teasing him, asking does he do XYZ to all the girls, or just the special ones. Would give him a little ego boost and might get him to open up a bit and let you know his intentions.

Devon Brown

Ask him out. On a date. Not a drinking party or club meetup. Talk to him on the phone. Talk in person.

Basically, at this point it is too soon to tell if there is any interest. There may be. There may not be. Frankly though, if all he was looking for was sex, he probably wouldn't still be talking to you. Two times together with you and no sex would probably be enough to derail any attempt for just a physical thing.

Good luck.

AshSmith

Thanks for the replies guys!

Just trying to work out how to bring it up in conversation really without scaring him off.

Devon Brown

OP, don't worry about scaring him off. If he gets scared off because you asked him out, then he isn't worth it. You two have hooked up twice already, I don't think the worrying about scaring him off thing is really necessary now.

Good luck.

AshSmith

Thanks again.
I went over to his the other day about 5pm, had a drink, stayed over, no sex (Im not even sure why not tbh as we were headed there, but he never really went ahead with it)
Loadsa cuddling/spooning, I've had one night stands or f*ck buddies before and this seemed different in a way, we awoke early, spent hours in bed, chatting and whatnot, lotsa kissing and not behaviour I would associate with someone who doesnt like me as more then just a f*ck buddy or whatever. Made food etc, spent more time in bed etc, then showered together, all was very lovely I guess,but I dont know for some reason,as he walked me to bus at about 5pm he wasnt into me, not hand holding, not a lot of chatting on his part and no kiss or hug goodbye.

However next day, I text saying I forgot my necklace etc, he then starts chatting on fb chat saying that he'd found it, bitta chat for a while, then he just went offline, then good few hours later he randomly starts chatting again then out of nowhere he went offline.

I dont really know where I stand at all, He clearly makes effort to talk to me somehow everyday but is never out straight that he wants to see me or even likes me, I cant tell if he's just really shy and doesnt know how to make this this go forward?

I am a friend

This is very strange.. Are you into him for more than a f-buddy? Is he trying to get to know you before jumping into having sex with you?

AshSmith

I am a friend wrote: »

This is very strange.. Are you into him for more than a f-buddy? Is he trying to get to know you before jumping into having sex with you?

Strange?
Yeah, as time goes on I am indeed. I have no idea what his intentions are at the moment!

I am a friend

I think his intentions are to take his time and get to know you properly. I think its cute and romantic. Who asked whom on the last date?

AshSmith

Well we had a running joke that he had to make me my favourite meal, but he couldnt for other reasons but he half said to come over but then was telling me a parent would be home so I said I'd leave it etc for another time as he wasnt clear if I should go or not, so I asked will I still come over and he said 'upto you,come now, come next week or whenever i dont mind' so wasnt a no, but just confused me, he seemed to be acting like he didnt care for some reason.

AshSmith

sunflower27 wrote: »

Why couldn't have said he'd pop over to you?

Just that he had been in mine the week before and it's a bit of a distance as we live on opposites sides of the city, and my parents were both home as were some of there friends, and they're not really keen on guys in my room, let alone sleeping over

I am a friend

OK well look i think this is just a slow burner. He seems nice and I like that he is treating you respectfully... Why not keep seeing him and see how it goes but dont stop life or dating other poeple in the meantime.

minidazzler

Yes OP, he is very much into you. We don't spend ages talking and texting people we are not into, unless we are looking for an ego boost, but at that the way he is described as acting tells me he is into you for more than just sex. Ask him on a date would be my advice one not featuring (much) alcohol. Just a game of Pool or bowling.