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Still thinking about him

  • 10-07-2011 6:41pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    Unregistered for this.
    I am a 20 year old girl. I briefly went out with a guy 5-6 months ago. It lasted 5 weeks. But he turned out to be horrible and he was carrying on with other girls despite me.
    He was very full on. From asking me to be his girlfriend only a few days of knowing eachother to bombarding me with his whole entire family 3 weeks into it.
    I was uneasy as I didnt want it to be rushed. But then, I found out he was texting and seeing other girls. So needless to say, I was very taken aback.... For a guy who appeared and claimed to be crazy about me and us...

    We had a nasty break up. Entially I broke up with him, due to finding out what he was up to. But he manipulated me into talking. Then, he gave me the run around for a week, and dropped me.

    Anywho, ever since, I have heard things and he infact, is horrible.
    I recognise I have had a lucky escape. I wrote on Boards about it and have taken it into account that I am better off without someone like him near me.

    Trouble is, I keep thinking about him. And the "what ifs" ...He dominates my thoughts everyday, which is weird cause I didnt really have much of a connection with him to make him last in my mind... But my mam reckons it was because he was a manipulater.

    I dont love him. Obviously. He makes me sick to be honest.

    Yet, he stays in my head?
    And before anyone asks, yes I have hobbies and friends. And right now, Im focusing on myself and staying single atm.

    Help ?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 453 ✭✭gypsy_rose


    These:

    "he turned out to be horrible"

    "I have heard things and he infact, is horrible."

    "He makes me sick to be honest."

    Whenever you start thinking about the what ifs and how things could have been, remember these things instead and the fact that you had a very lucky escape from this guy before you got really involved.

    This and time, you will be fine :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    My take on it is simple; I think your mother is right - he sounds like hes young and a bit of a player. I think that you'd like to have a boyfriend. But stop wanting a boyfriend in someone who is clearly NOT boyfriend material and will hurt you repeatedly because hes bluffing the 'boyfriend / girlfriend' gag.

    Start wanting someone who wants you, not someone who pretends to for their own selfish needs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27 Devon Brown


    Gotta agree with gypsy_rose here. Every time you think about him, think about the awful things you know about him. And if your mind wanders to what ifs, put someone else in the starring role.

    Use this experience to learn from for red flags with future suitors. Don't concentrate on the person, but on the lessons learned.

    Good luck.


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