No staying power

LegacyUser

I'm stuck in a rut. I feel like my life is passing me by and I'm doing nothing to stop it from doing so. I have huge potential but I'm just wasting it all doing nothing except sleeping all day and watching tv. I'm a very intelligent guy and I'm always expected to be the best at everything I do and, when I can actually set my mind to it, I usually am in the top 3 or so at most things. So why am I doing nothing at all? I seem to want "instant gratification" for everything - I'm not prepared to put in the hard work and reap the rewards at a later time. It all has to be now, now, now. I can't stick at anything that requires a considerable effort. I start a gym program and if I'm not considerably bigger than I was when I started 2 or 3 months ago, I'll quit. I may not make a conscious decision to do so but I'll still find myself losing interest/motivation. It makes me feel worse when I look at friends who started going to the gym around the same time I did and now they look great because they stuck with it - unlike me.

I'm coasting through college now on 2.1s and barely lifting a finger when I know that if I actually put in the work that I know I am capable of doing, I'd get a 1st. It annoys me so much when I get my results because I'm always so disappointed with them because, while they're probably a fair reflection on me given the work I did, they're not my best marks and I know I can do better. That's what I hate the most - I always know that I can do better. I've never given something my all and been satisfied with the outcome. It's not even the grades that bother me that much: I'd be happy to study hard all year and get a 2.1 if it meant that I could feel like I gave it my best shot. I hate this feeling yet I can't shake it at all.

Advice?

LegacyUser

There are a lot of people who'd be thrilled to coast to 2.1s. Bear that in mind - you might not be doing as well as you think you can, but you are doing well.

To be honest, I'd say your goals are too long-term. Instead of focusing on becoming bigger by going to the gym why not make the action its own reward, as it were? Set a short-term goal to spend a certain amount of time at the gym in a week, rather than worrying about how you're going to look in three months' time. I lost a lot of weight a while back and I thought the same way as you: even a year after starting, although the scales said I'd lost weight I didn't think I looked any different. But I persisted, and now it's two years later and I definitely notice the difference.

The same goes for study: aim to do a certain number of hours per week, rather than just saying "I'm aiming for a First". I'd definitely agree with your point that there's nothing worse than feeling that you've sold yourself short. So focus on the work, not the marks - even if your marks don't live up to your expectations, at least you'll feel you put the effort in.

Good luck.

premierlass

Also, you could consider a small "reward" for a good weeks' work if that is likely to motivate you. Something to look forward to during the week.