Girlfriend Wants Me To Sell My Film Collection

LegacyUser

My girlfriend said to me, "Why do you need to have so many DVDs? You don't have any time to watch films And when you finally have some time, I don't want to watch one of those films with you. Seriously, when we have time, why can't we just spend money to rent a recent release from xtravision. Then she asked, "How much exactly have you spent on DVDs?" I have a big extensive collection which she now wants me to sell on Ebay
This is a picture of my dvds which she wants me to sell for her

Otis Driftwood

Its not necessary to provide a link to your collection.

Kimia

Just tell her no!

Taltos

Mate - girlfriends come and go - but your dvd collection...
As per Kimia - no and "it is NOT up for discussion".
Thin edge - all about boundaries.

SheRa

Filmnerd wrote: »

My girlfriend said to me, "Why do you need to have so many DVDsbags (shoes etc, whatever she loves)? You don't have any time to watch films can only wear one at a time. And when you finally have some time, I don't want to watch one of those films with you. Seriously, when we have time, why can't we just spend money to rent a recent release from xtravision.you want to wear a bag why not borrow one from your friend, Then she asked, "How much exactly have you spent on DVDs?" Btw how much do you spend on yor clothes/bag etc? I have a big extensive collection which she now wants me to sell on Ebay
This is a picture of my dvds which she wants me to sell for her

Have this conversation with her and see if she gets a bit more understanding.

robman60

I think it would be a good idea for you to compare your collection of DVDs with something she collects/spends a lot on.

Some people struggle to understand why someone would spend money on something that to them, seems silly, but they usually see more clearly when something of importance to them is put in the same position (shoes etc.)!

Miss Fluff

Eh control freak much? :eek:

Tell her no. And that it's none of her business for many DVDs you have. And that you won't be selling them on eBay.

booboo88

tell her to take a run and jump
tell her to sell ALL her shoes

CardBordWindow

Counter the argument with;
Clothes
Shoes
Make-up
Gossip Magazines

Take your pick.

Eve_Dublin

CardBordWindow wrote: »

Counter the argument with;
Clothes
Shoes
Make-up
Gossip Magazines

Take your pick.

Just because she's a woman, doesn't mean she has a large collection of any of these things :rolleyes:

Anyway, OP why does she care so much? Why's it a big deal? Tell her to feck off.

entropi

OP, You should tell her that the collection shall be staying put. I have a friend who has over 1,100 DVD's and there is no way his gf would even ask him to get rid of them, let alone the chance he would do it himself!

Ask her why she wants rid of them, there has to be a specific reason.

That's crazy.

Say no, and then ask her how she came to the conclusion that she could volunteer your possessions as something to sell to make extra cash. Did she expect a cut if you did sell them?

LeixlipRed

Maybe this is why I've never held down a proper relationship? :eek: If a girl wants you to sell all your DVDs you need to seriously consider if it's gonna work out in the long run. And who rents movies from xtravision these days??

jimmycrackcorm

Tell her that just in case your relationship doesn't work out you might then regret getting rid of your collection.

Hank_Jones

Women come and go, but a good DVD collection is forever.

Crazy that she would want you to sell something that you have happily collected.
Being able to watch films you enjoy is something that makes you happy,
don't see why she would want to take this away from you.

Canluum

Kimia wrote: »

Just tell her no!

This, and laugh about it... it is kinda funny and ridiculous. Show her you don't take yourself seriously but also that you won't be pushed around. No point getting into an argument over silly little things. She'll respect you more for standing up for yourself (while not turning it into an argument) and being assertive yet good natured.

As time rolls on feel free to gently tease her "remember that time you tried to get me to sell my DVD collection... lol you must have thought you had me whipped or something!"

GoldenTickets

Even if you sold your DVDs now you'd only get about 50 cent - 1 euro for each one on the second hand trade in Dublin. And that's if you could find a place that was willing to buy a large collection. With DVDs available in HMV for as little as €2.99 the value of DVDs has plummeted. So you can tell her you'd only get about a euro a piece for them and there's no way any sane film fan would do that.

Also, she's asking you to do something completely ridiculous so you could also point that out if you like. Unbelievable behaviour from a girlfriend, even if she doesn't share your intersts she should be able to respect them.

Tar.Aldarion

Do you not have any time apart from her, tell her you do have time to watch them? Ridiculous thing to ask imo

LegacyUser

OP here again, she said her issue most of the dvds are horror films, she finds it a bit strange and thinks its a waste of money she said,but Im gonna take some advice here and say to her what about what she spends on clothes, make up etc, thanks for the advice.

Wibbs

Filmnerd wrote: »

but Im gonna take some advice here and say to her what about what she spends on clothes, make up etc, thanks for the advice.

Yep great advice if you want to escalate the row for no good reason. IMHO it's really bad advice. Personally I would not do this. It comes across and is childish point scoring.

I'd go along with Master of Nothings post and ask her what the specific problem is. The horror movie part for me is a bit of a red herring. IMO it's likely something else, maybe something entirely unrelated. IE she feels you don't give her enough attention and the DVD collection has become a focus for her kinda thing. Golf/car/fishing widows would be cliched examples of that. If this is the case it would be nice if she actually came out with the real reason, but people often won't. Either because they may feel silly for feeling it or or just don't want confrontation or feel the other person won't/can't listen(that's where you look to yourself FN). Think back, have you had any reoccurring conflicts/rows in the relationship? You know the type, the ones you reckon are over because the row is. If there's a consistent one, then the DVD stuff is likely a symptom, not the cause. She feels safer pointing at that than what may actually be troubling her. IME this can be very common.

She could just simply be a control freak and is testing your mettle. Identifying something that's very much yours and seeing how far you'll go to drop that on her behest. They're known as Nutters(tm) and are to be scraped off PDQ as that guff always or nearly always gets worse and their are enough people in the world not like that so why be with one that is? It's never worth it.

Regardless of the reasons, I'd not be doing any selling of your collection. If it's the "test", then game over for your wishes down the line(plus giving in to that type often means they lose interest strangely enough). If it's a symptom of a deeper problem then getting rid of the DVD's won't get rid of the problem, just put it off until something else pops up.

SheRa

Yeah in fairness my post was a bit tongue in cheek and not a very respectful way to talk to anyone.

Wibb's post is freakily spot on. Listen to him.

[-0-]

"Having a good DVD collection is a hobby of mine which is harming nobody. I can think of a lot of worse things to spend the money on."

As long as you're not spending your last 10 euro on a DVD then put her in her place or tell her where to go. You need to nip this in the bud pretty quickly, because after the DVD collection it will be your ps3/xbox/books/whatever.

Devon Brown

Talk to her and ask her why it is so important to her. If she just wants to control you, then that is the issue to deal with, not the DVDs. If she thinks you put more time, effort, and care into your collection than your relationship, then that is the issue to deal with.
Basically, you have to talk and suss out the real issue. She is talking to you about a symptom. You have to try to get to the cause.

Good luck.

Peanut2011

Filmnerd wrote: »

OP here again, she said her issue most of the dvds are horror films, she finds it a bit strange and thinks its a waste of money she said,but Im gonna take some advice here and say to her what about what she spends on clothes, make up etc, thanks for the advice.

OP, grow a pair and just say no! As long as you earn your own money and pay your share, what you spend the "disposable income" on, as long as it does not undermine her or offend her, should be none of her business.

She does not have to understand nor like the films, it's your thing after all.

One thing is for sure, do not compare it to anything she does or spends her money on as that is not the reason why you do it. Nor would that solve anything.

curlzy

Filmnerd wrote: »

OP here again, she said her issue most of the dvds are horror films, she finds it a bit strange and thinks its a waste of money she said,but Im gonna take some advice here and say to her what about what she spends on clothes, make up etc, thanks for the advice.

Hey OP,

I've bolded the part I find most interesting. She finds it's strange that you like horror movies? That's why you should sell them? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. My bf LOVES grahic novels (aka comic books) and has literally thousands of them. I wouldn't read them in a fit but they belong to him, they're his collection and he enjoys collecting them and reading them. I would never, ever ask him to sell them. Because at the end of the day it's none of my business what he likes reading, same as it's none of your gf's business what you like watching. I really would tell her to cop on with this, tell her it's none of her business what you watch and you won't be selling them and you won't be discussing this again. I really can't get over this to be honest, she sounds like a control freak, telling you what's ok to watch :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:. So yeah I wouldn't give an inch on this one, the fact that she thought it was reasonable to ask you to sell your prized DVD collection because she doesn't like the genre is just mental. I'd also keep my eye out for other behaviour like this, major red flag there.

prinz

curlzy wrote: »

Hey OP,
I've bolded the part I find most interesting. She finds it's strange that you like horror movies? That's why you should sell them? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. My bf LOVES grahic novels (aka comic books) and has literally thousands of them.

I think the problem is that the OP loves horror movies. His gf doesn't, but the OP wants her to join him in his hobby watching horror movies. I can see how it would get on someone's nerves after a while if they just want to cuddle up with their boyfriend/girlfriend and enjoy a film together that would be mutually enjoyable but instead are confined to something which completely turns them off like always choosing from the OP's horror collection. I think the OP needs to be honest with himself and ask if he has more or less pushed his interests onto the gf. There needs to be a compromise. Asking/telling the OP to sell them all is going about it completely the wrong way.

I can relate to the issue, big DVD collection here with a particular interest in war/historical/factual movies. My wife has no interest in them for a number of reasons so when we're together for a night in we tend to watch stuff that would appeal to both of us mostly. I think the OP's problem could be solved with branching his collection out a bit to include some genres which might appeal to his gf more, so if they do decide to have a night in with a DVD there might be a few she'd actually like to watch. Or just encourage her to start he own collection and agree to watch her choices sometimes too.

Firetrap

Do the DVDs take up a lot of space where ye live? Do you watch them when she'd like ye to be doing something else? Maybe it's a control thing or maybe the collection's a focus for her anger?

Beruthiel

Filmnerd wrote: »

How much exactly have you spent on DVDs?

None of her business!

I have a big extensive collection which she now wants me to sell on Ebay

I have a collection of all my favourite films. Anyone even thinking about suggesting I sell them wouldn't do it twice!
Stand up for yourself OP.

Judes

I have a large collection of videos, vinyl, CD's and the DVD's are building up - and I wouldn't part with any of them for any one - no matter how scratched my old albums and singles are - they are part of my past - they bring back great memories - oh yeah, I'm a girl - so I have to contend with the make-up, shoes, bags too - but my accessories aren't as important to me as my film/music collection and if my house went up in smoke, I'd be throwing them out the window to save them ahead of my wardrobe! Would your gf prefer you to spend your money in the pub every night? Stand strong, stand firm.:D

krudler

Errr, tell her no? who cares how much you spent on dvds? I guarantee you shes got a pair of shoes or some item of clothing she spent stupid money on (we probablly all do) its nobodies business what you spend your money on, and renting movies is a complete waste of money, spending a fiver to watch something once? or a little more than that when its on sale to keep it forever?

jam_mac_jam

Have to agree with the below, is there some reason, do you badly need the money or something because you wont make anything from selling them. I have quite a selection of books and anyone who asked me to get rid of them would be gone first. This is ridiculous.

LittleBook

When I read the thread title I assumed it was porn films, never dawned on me that someone could have a problem with a film collection. :pac:

Filmnerd wrote: »

You don't have any time to watch films

A lot of people (not just partners) don't understand why film geeks keep a collection but for me it's comparable to books or any other collectible that would be seen as a hobby. I don't know anyone that doesn't have a collection of DVDs to some extent.

Filmnerd wrote: »

"How much exactly have you spent on DVDs?" I have a big extensive collection which she now wants me to sell on Ebay ... Im gonna take some advice here and say to her what about what she spends on clothes, make up etc, thanks for the advice.

Is money an issue for you guys?

Filmnerd wrote: »

"You don't have any time to watch films And when you finally have some time, I don't want to watch one of those films with you" ... she said her issue most of the dvds are horror films, she finds it a bit strange

This to me seems to be the only reasonable issue your girlfriend could have. If you're spending all your time doing something that she can't enjoy with you, then problems will arise. Try to do more together.

tallaghtmick

Tell her you will sell her on ebay.....that will shut her up:D