Okay,so don't make fun of me!

AskMyChocolate

Chocolate, the other children were right to make fun of you.

I'm 41 years of age,and I will be using a passport for the first time. I'm a bit scared that everybody else will know what they're doing.

It's kind of like being in the toddlers pool when you don't know how to swim.

So,AHers,any tips that would make me look a little bit trave-wise? Or wise? Or anything that would make me look alittle bit older?

Or should I just keep my head down, and slap anyone under the aga of twenty who's being obnoxious?

I'm not sure I could pull it off. They'd probably kill me, or worse, direct me to the wrong check-in desk.

Choco

orourkeda

I'm a big boy now or so they say so if you'll serve I'll be on my way

Ally Dick

You need to get your medication sorted out

joshrogan

40 year old passport virgin.

Temptamperu

just do it like a boss and you will be fine

later12

Ma'am are you a terrorist?

MA'AM ARE YOU A TERRORIST?

Ruu_Old

Bring a briefcase and schmooze your way into first class. Remain standing at the front of the check in/ticket desk, even when your seat row has not been called yet, fellow travelers love that! Make sure you give the captain a good round of applause and cheer when you land at your point of destination.

Aoifey!

Leave the swords at home and you should be fine.

Ally Dick

Dress as a woman, but doing this is not recommended

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V17duGlHEYY

orourkeda

make sure when the plane lands youre the first person to stand so you can block the whole aisle

Gillington

Watch out for the snakes

AskMyChocolate

orourkeda wrote: »

I'm a big boy now or so they say so if you'll serve I'll be on my way

Ally Dick wrote: »

You need to get your medication sorted out

Unfortunately, I've spent quite a while in the house of fun.:o

Scuid Mhór

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Chocolate, the other children were right to make fun of you.

I'm 41 years of age,and I will be using a passport for the first time. I'm a bit scared that everybody else will know what they're doing.

It's kind of like being in the toddlers pool when you don't know how to swim.

So,AHers,any tips that would make me look a little bit trave-wise? Or wise? Or anything that would make me look alittle bit older?

Or should I just keep my head down, and slap anyone under the aga of twenty who's being obnoxious?

I'm not sure I could pull it off. They'd probably kill me, or worse, direct me to the wrong check-in desk.

Choco

Why do you care what everyone thinks

Needler

Aoifey! wrote: »

Leave the swords at home and you should be fine.

If you live in Swords then you havn't much choice have you?

Vicxas

You know what you should walk through the airport shouting bomb, they LOVE that!

CardBordWindow

Make sure you're wearing clothes! Walking around naked in an airport is eh, frowned upon. Or it was anyway!

ejmaztec

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Chocolate, the other children were right to make fun of you.

I'm 41 years of age,and I will be using a passport for the first time. I'm a bit scared that everybody else will know what they're doing.

It's kind of like being in the toddlers pool when you don't know how to swim.

So,AHers,any tips that would make me look a little bit trave-wise? Or wise? Or anything that would make me look alittle bit older?

Or should I just keep my head down, and slap anyone under the aga of twenty who's being obnoxious?

I'm not sure I could pull it off. They'd probably kill me, or worse, direct me to the wrong check-in desk.

Choco

Is that why you're leaving the country?

orourkeda

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Unfortunately, I've spent quite a while in the house of fun.:o

Its quicker if you run.

brummytom

Make lots of jokes about bombs to lighten the mood. Passport control love that.

And if they ask you whether you've got a a criminal record, the answer is 'not yet'.

Colmo52

Look out for **** Djs

Fluorescence

Ok, whatever else you do, do NOT wait until you get to the security scanners to start removing your shoes/coat and anything with metal you've got on. It's annoying as hell when there's a big queue and you'll look like a n00b :P. Better yet, don't have anything with metal on you for travel day at all. Then you'll truly look pro.

ejmaztec

brummytom wrote: »

Make lots of jokes about bombs to lighten the mood. Passport control love that.

And if they ask you whether you've got a a criminal record, the answer is 'not yet'.

That's when I generally whip out my Jedward CD.

later12

Get down on your knees in the departures lounge and start praying to Mecca. Then shout Allahu Akhbar as you, and anybody with whom you are travelling, boards the plane.

That should clear your flight of any Americans, leaving you to enjoy your journey in more comfortable surroundings.

jester77

• Ask 100 questions when you are at the baggage drop off desk, holding everyone up
• Put your boarding pass away safely while going through security, thus taking 5 mins to find it for the security guard
• Forget to take out your liquids when going through security
• Wait until the last possible moment before taking off your belt and emptying your pockets
• Wear as much jewellery as possible and keep forgetting a piece every time you go through the scanner
• Make sure and stand in the middle of the aisle when you first board and spend 10 mins fumbling around in your bag looking for a magazine before moving everyone's luggage in the overhead compartment directly over your seat to make place for yours
• Whatever you do, stand your ground and don't let anyone by when doing the last point

Follow the above rules and you will fit right in

AskMyChocolate

Ruu wrote: »

Bring a briefcase and schmooze your way into first class. Remain standing at the front of the check in/ticket desk, even when your seat row has not been called yet, fellow travelers love that! Make sure you give the captain a good round of applause and cheer when you land at your point of destination.

Jaysus. I know I'm a noob, but even I wouldn't fall for that (or would I )

I'm flying Aer Lingus, into Milan. Would the briefcase work? Nobody flies into Milan at 7' oclock on a Tuesday morning or do they?

Problem is, that anyone who has done it looks natural. I won't.:o

Lady Chatterton

You should watch this DVD - Hannah Hauxwell Innocent Abroad

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hannah-Hauxwell-Innocent-Abroad-DVD/dp/B000N0WYEC/ref=wl_mb_hu_m_4_dp

Hannah was over 80 before she received her passport

AskMyChocolate

Scuid Mhór wrote: »

Why do you care what everyone thinks

I don't. Well, I do a little bit. I care about not making a fool of myself. I care about not making silly mistakes that an average 18 yr' old wouldn't.

Does that make any sense to you?

cesc77

later10 wrote: »

Get down on your knees in the departures lounge and start praying to Mecca. Then shout Allahu Akhbar as you, and anybody with whom you are travelling, boards the plane.

That should clear your flight of any Americans, leaving you to enjoy your journey in more comfortable surroundings.

^^ This and wearing a red bandana should ensure spare seats for sleeping next to you.

Have a futther with your shoes and underpants every now and then as if you are confused and they are somehow annoying you.

Youll speed(be sped) straight through customs and baggage pick-up on the other side:)

TheUsual

Make sure you use the airport toilet as they don't have any on the plane.
But you are allowed to smoke on flights to Italy, so that's cool.

Ruu_Old

Forgot one, put on your headphones and relax while the air stewards do the safety demo. Don't worry, there is a summary of it in the seat pocket in front of you so you're good to go! Feel free to put down the tray table and do a crossword or two.

Ally Dick

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I don't. Well, I do a little bit. I care about not making a fool of myself. I care about not making silly mistakes that an average 18 yr' old wouldn't.

Does that make any sense to you?

I really don't understand what you are worried about. You just show your passport to the official when asked to do so. Otherwise, sit back, relax and enjoy your flight

Victor Meldrew

Ally Dick wrote: »

I really don't understand what you are worried about. You just show your passport to the official when asked to do so. Otherwise, sit back, relax and enjoy your flight

If you are travelling solo, ask peolpe with security badges & ID for help? they are always helpful and I still do this in strange airports despite travelling almost monthly for 10 years

true, just relax, I was on a plane a few years back (I do a lit of Dublin - london) and there was a first time flyer in the aisle opposite, he was very nervous as planes ARE noisy, and they shake a bit, but it's all normal.

tip regarding security, you'll have to take off the shoes and belt and (if you are male, walley, keys, any metal, it all goes through the scanner, have shoes you can kick off and on without recourse to lace-untying (deck shoes are your friend here)

Don't carry any liquids or if you do, have them all (less than 100ml on the bottle) in a ziplock bag before hand)

The less crap you have to carry the better and pockets are handy... (female, use a big handbag.)

Good luck...

sollar

You'll prob look awkward and stand out. So I'd say you'll be frog marched to the search area and strip searched.

later12

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

The less crap you have to carry the better and pockets are handy... (female, use a big handbag.)

Also, clutch it very protectively at all times. And wear some loose fitting clothing so that you will be comfortable on your flight... I recommend a burka. If you are taking any prescription drugs at the moment, be sure to sellotape some extra supples to the inside of your burka for ease of access. Also, in case you lose these, I would carefully sew a backup stash inside the aforementioned tightly clutched handbag. Just to be on the safe side.

Bon voyage!

Dangerous Man

As soon as the seatbelt light goes off be sure to jump out of your seat and start rummaging through the overhead cabinet. When you've done that then start just walking around the plane like a prick. Wear a GAA jersey, preferably one with some sort of 'meat' sponsor on it.

Fluorescence

Dangerous Man wrote: »

As soon as the seatbelt light goes off be sure to jump out of your seat and start rummaging through the overhead cabinet. When you've done that then start just walking around the plane like a prick. Wear a GAA jersey, preferably one with some sort of 'meat' sponsor on it.

Pfft why wait?

Ally Dick

later10 wrote: »

Also, clutch it very protectively at all times. And wear some loose fitting clothing so that you will be comfortable on your flight... I recommend a burka. If you are taking any prescription drugs at the moment, be sure to sellotape some extra supples to the inside of your burka for ease of access. Also, in case you lose these, I would carefully sew a backup stash inside the aforementioned tightly clutched handbag. Just to be on the safe side.

Bon voyage!

And don't forget to pack your bag with some used batteries with wires sticking out stuffed into a brown envelope. Also it's very important to have some talcum powder in a tin sewed into the lining of your trousers. A copy of Mein Kampf is an essential read for the flight too

Green Back

Did you get issued with the newest Irish passport or the old type?
The new passport has 'IMF Approved' on the front cover just above 'Éire'.

If it's the older passport you need to submit the 'Request to Travel' documentation to the Dept of Finance about two weeks before you leave confirming you do not intend travelling outside the EU and your current level of debt.

cml387

If you're going to a country that doesn't speak English, just wave your arms about and speak very loudly.
If it's France,they all speak fluent english and are just waiting for an opportunity to try it out.

Spook80

don't forget to bring a towel

deathrider

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Chocolate, the other children were right to make fun of you.

I'm 41 years of age,and I will be using a passport for the first time. I'm a bit scared that everybody else will know what they're doing.

It's kind of like being in the toddlers pool when you don't know how to swim.


Choco

Why would a 41 year old man be in the toddlers pool anyways? :eek:

Krieg

OP im in the same boat(er... plane)
Flying for the first time on Tuesday myself, although im 24.

I have the same feelings you do. Ive gone to the trouble of putting all airport maps onto my phone for fear of getting lost and missing flight. Ive already packed my suitcase a week early. Ive double checked and triple checked every item to make sure security wont view anything as a "weapon". Every pathetic detail down to what ill have for breakfast has been logged on my laptop and phone.

Now, beat that

Tar.Aldarion

Don't forget to tell them it's only toothpaste and you are bringing the whole tub!

saatana

Don't mind all those tossers and their "advice". Mine is: the best of luck to you and enjoy your trip.

Sunnyisland

When on aircraft ignore by reading your paper the Stewardess pointing out the emergency exits, as a pro you already know.

Sinfonia

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I'm flying Aer Lingus, into Milan. Would the briefcase work? Nobody flies into Milan at 7' oclock on a Tuesday morning or do they?

Flying Dublin to Linate? That's a nice flight actually (and I'm a bad flyer, but I generally feel fairly comfortable on that one, having taken it a good few times in the last year), but it can be busy. I took that flight last Tuesday funnily enough and it was pretty packed, mostly due to a crowd of Italian students returning home from Dublin.
Have you booked a seat online?
If you haven't, the best thing to do is check-in at the machines in the airport and choose a seat then. If you get stuck with a seat near the back, tell the steward(ess) when you're walking onto the plane that you're a first-time flyer and you're nervous about it, and could you sit near the front if possible. For some reason there's often a bunch of free seats near the front, and they won't mind accommodating you (especially because they won't want some nervous flyer freaking out..!)
Much better experience being at the front anyway, in terms of the effect of turbulence etc. Plus you get first dibs on the breakfast!

emeraldstar

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

tip regarding security, you'll have to take off the shoes and belt and (if you are male, walley, keys, any metal, it all goes through the scanner,

How do you take off your walley?