Does long distance work?

ladam

My boyfriend of over a year and a half wants to become a pilot and he has applied for a cadetship that will mean he will be away for a year. We have always been very close and see each other everyday without fail. I am deeply in love with him and as its something he really wants so he can provide a good life for us I want to support him but i cant help being worried as a year apart seems crazy to me. I know he loves me and its just something he has to do so (the question finally comes) how do I be supportive? This may seem stupid but it has really upset me ... I'll see him the odd week(not sure how many) and i think he'd get one week off! Anyone in familiar situations or just people who are a god advice please help

Fiii

Hi there

How far away will he be? Are we talking somewhere in Ireland? The UK? Or further away?

My boyfriend lived in the UK for the first 8months of our relationship. It was tough, but we always had an 'end in sight' - as in, we knew it was temporary and that we would be together properly soon.
You'll have good days and bad, and it won't be easy, but none of the best things in life are easy. It will be worth it when all is said and done.

Of course it will be upsetting when he goes, and it's ok for you to be sad, but if it is indeed only for 1 year, and you are madly in love, you need to be supportive of his choice. He is doing this for his career after all.
Hopefully it's not that far away, and you can go and see him every few weeks/ months, that will def make it easier.


You'll be surprised how quickly the year will pass! Sure look, we're in July of 2011 already! :pac:
Why not sign up to do something you've always wanted to do while he is away? Learn to drive/ cook/ speak French!
And Skype is great for keeping in touch - you can see each other, and it's free!

I feel for you pet, it will be hard, but if you love each other, you can make it work. Best of luck!

Devon Brown

First, remember this - distance does not harm relationships in and of itself. What distance does is amplify everything in a relationship, both good and bad. If there are difficulties, it will make those difficulties look insurmountable. If there is doubt, it will make it unbearable. If you two really love each other honestly and good, then it will make "the heart grow fonder" as the cliche goes.

Keep the end in sight. Continue to remind yourself of the reasons why he is away. Make the most of your time together. Write each other hand written letters and mail them (it is an easy and romantic gesture that can also help you look back on this time fondly). Talk on the phone. Skype if possible. But also allow both of you your own time. Just because you are physically apart doesn't mean you aren't thinking about each other. So don't push too hard.

Good luck.

ladam

Thanks so much for the advice. Its hard being down because i cant talk to him about it, I want him to feel the excitement of achieving his goal.
He'll be in spain, if nothing else I can bag myself a holiday or two :P ...
Thanks again .... I know this will only make us stronger! )