Friday Funnies

MonkieSocks

A woman got on a bus holding a baby.

The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said
"Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."
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Had to break the news to my kids that their mother had been chased and killed by a cheetah.

My son said, "I hope she didn't suffer, was it quick?"

I said, "hell yeah, it was like lightening, took ages to eat her though".
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The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby where he met the U.S. President.

They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said,
"You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

The President said, "Well, anything I can do to help you, I will."

The Iranian whispered "My son watches this show 'Star Trek'
and in it there is Chekhov who is Russian,
Scotty who is Scottish,
Uhura who is Black
and Sulu who is Japanese....... but no Muslims.

My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Syrians or Pakistanis on Star Trek."

The President laughed, leaned toward the Iranian ambassador, and whispered back,

"That's because it takes place in the future".