Am I being stupid?

Degringola

I gave a family member a birthday present of a weekend at a spa for two people, including treatments etc.
They asked me would I go and I said 'Ah no, ask someone else, I thought you might invite me along but sure I'd be using half the present for myself'.
An hour later she'd invited her daughter instead.
I was taken aback at the speed of this and my first reaction was to be a bit miffed that she didn't ask a second time and try and persuade me to go with her.
PI, am I being unreasonable?

are you serious? you turned down an invite and now you're miffed they took you at your word and invited someone else?

MitchKoobski

YES

You were asked, said no,
told her to ask someone else,
and now you're annoyed because she did ask someone else, her own daughter, instead of asking you again?

temply

Degringola wrote: »

I gave a family member a birthday present of a weekend at a spa for two people, including treatments etc.
They asked me would I go and I said 'Ah no, ask someone else, I thought you might invite me along but sure I'd be using half the present for myself'.
An hour later she'd invited her daughter instead.
I was taken aback at the speed of this and my first reaction was to be a bit miffed that she didn't ask a second time and try and persuade me to go with her.
PI, am I being unreasonable?

That is too funny!!!

You are of course being unreasonable, I mean come on like!!!

LOL

cantdecide

Sorry, Degringola. Once you give a present, it's given. You have no say over whether they ever use it or burn it or give it to the dog. If you chose the present on the basis that you wanted to share it, you should have said that or given them the day for themself on the basis you wanted to along.

I think you made too many assumptions when chosing the present. lesson learned. You can only be happy for your friend and her daughter to enjoy their day at this stage.

Sardonicat

So, she very kindly offered you first refusal to accompany her and you declined on the grounds that, as the gift giver, you should not partake in the gift.

In reality, though, you chose this gift for her because you wanted to go with her and enjoy the gift for yourself. And now you are miffed that she took you at your word.

You see, some people have this annoying habit of believing what others say to them which then results in the nuisance of saying what one means and meaning what one says instead of depending on them to read one's mind. Most inconsiderate of them. On the other hand, I often find these non-telepathic people make great gift givers, because they generally choose a gift from the heart with no strings attached.

Yes, you are being unreasonable in the extreme.

Degringola

Thanks people, I had a feeling I was being unreasonable. But no, I didn't buy it so I would be invited along at all believe it or not. Ye're right, I should have taken her at her word, I suppose I was expecting a bit of 'ah go on, go on...'
And I still wouldn't have accepted, tho' I doubt ye'll believe me now!
Lesson learned.
Anyway thanks everyone!
Mods, please close.

Wompa1

Degringola wrote: »

Thanks people, I had a feeling I was being unreasonable. But no, I didn't buy it so I would be invited along at all believe it or not. Ye're right, I should have taken her at her word, I suppose I was expecting a bit of 'ah go on, go on...'
And I still wouldn't have accepted, tho' I doubt ye'll believe me now!
Lesson learned.
Anyway thanks everyone!
Mods, please close.

I believe you and I get what you mean. It's like when you offer to pay for something or whatever, there is a reasonable amount of offering or squabbling someone should put up...when they don't you feel like a bit of a fool.

But in this circumstance you saying you'd feel like you were taking half the present, that's a bit of a close ended statement..Don't really blame her for just offering elsewhere. Sorry

Degringola

Thanks Wompa