Good Deeds Gone Wrong

stargazer 68

Years ago when I lived in London I got the tube regularly. One evening coming home from work the tube stopped at a station and was going no further (except straight to the depot) so everyone got off to wait for the next one.

One guy was still in his seat asleep so a 'good samaritan' jumped on to wake him and tell him. Unfortunately the doors closed and off the pair of them went to who knows where!! :eek: Left the rest of us on the platform still giggling when we got on the next train. Always wondered where they ended up!

Any one got any other good deed tales??

Ghost Estate

I was driving home one day on a bad stretch of road where one of my neighbours died and saw a GoSafe van.

I felt the need to reward this fella for being brave enough to do such an awful job on that stretch of road to help save lives but I had not a cent on me, only a spare can of petrol in the boot and some empty bottles I had yet to bring to the bottle bank.

Because I needed some of the petrol for the morning I thought I'd pour him a few bottles of the stuff for himself and closed the bottles with an ould bit of cloth so they'd be safe enough as long as they were upright.

Knocked on the door of the van to give yer man the bottles of petrol and he lost the head altogether, First he pushed me away onto the road so I legged it back to the car and a few minutes later I got pulled over by the guards. Ended up in court accused of attempted arson and only got off on a technicality because I had a good lawyer

Latchy

Edit - Not so much a good deed / really belongs in another thread .

Alter-Ego

Ghost Estate wrote: »

I was driving home one day on a bad stretch of road where one of my neighbours died and saw a GoSafe van.

I felt the need to reward this fella for being brave enough to do such an awful job on that stretch of road to help save lives but I had not a cent on me, only a spare can of petrol in the boot and some empty bottles I had yet to bring to the bottle bank.

Because I needed some of the petrol for the morning I thought I'd pour him a few bottles of the stuff for himself and closed the bottles with an ould bit of cloth so they'd be safe enough as long as they were upright.

Knocked on the door of the van to give yer man the bottles of petrol and he lost the head altogether, First he pushed me away onto the road so I legged it back to the car and a few minutes later I got pulled over by the guards. Ended up in court accused of attempted arson and only got off on a technicality because I had a good lawyer

/Thread

Fremen

Ghost Estate wrote: »

I was driving home one day on a bad stretch of road where one of my neighbours died and saw a GoSafe van.

I felt the need to reward this fella for being brave enough to do such an awful job on that stretch of road to help save lives but I had not a cent on me, only a spare can of petrol in the boot and some empty bottles I had yet to bring to the bottle bank.

Because I needed some of the petrol for the morning I thought I'd pour him a few bottles of the stuff for himself and closed the bottles with an ould bit of cloth so they'd be safe enough as long as they were upright.

Knocked on the door of the van to give yer man the bottles of petrol and he lost the head altogether, First he pushed me away onto the road so I legged it back to the car and a few minutes later I got pulled over by the guards. Ended up in court accused of attempted arson and only got off on a technicality because I had a good lawyer

What a bizzarre thing to do. Would you not just go up to him and say "fair play" or something?

syklops

Ghost Estate wrote: »

I was driving home one day on a bad stretch of road where one of my neighbours died and saw a GoSafe van.

I felt the need to reward this fella for being brave enough to do such an awful job on that stretch of road to help save lives but I had not a cent on me, only a spare can of petrol in the boot and some empty bottles I had yet to bring to the bottle bank.

Because I needed some of the petrol for the morning I thought I'd pour him a few bottles of the stuff for himself and closed the bottles with an ould bit of cloth so they'd be safe enough as long as they were upright.

Knocked on the door of the van to give yer man the bottles of petrol and he lost the head altogether, First he pushed me away onto the road so I legged it back to the car and a few minutes later I got pulled over by the guards. Ended up in court accused of attempted arson and only got off on a technicality because I had a good lawyer

I'm calling shenanigans on that story. You poured petrol into a bottle of smirnoff, stuffed a rag into it and went over to a guy in a go-safe van? What were you going to say? One for the road?

this is arse

i once passed out drunk on the last no. 2 from Mahon. when i woke up the bus was parked up in Capwell bus garage and not a soul about. had to get out the emergency door at the back and leg it out of the garage. was worried that if someone saw me they'd think I had been trying to steal a bus

Kojak

this is arse wrote: »

i once passed out drunk on the last no. 2 from Mahon. when i woke up the bus was parked up in Capwell bus garage and not a soul about. had to get out the emergency door at the back and leg it out of the garage. was worried that if someone saw me they'd think I had been trying to steal a bus

That's what they all say after getting caught....

Das Kitty

syklops wrote: »

I'm calling shenanigans on that story. You poured petrol into a bottle of smirnoff, stuffed a rag into it and went over to a guy in a go-safe van? What were you going to say? One for the road?

That's the joke

Das Kitty

Last weekend my friend told me how some unsavoury types tried to snatch her dog from her garden, but they managed to stop them.

I was feeling a little worse for wear the next morning after a good night out and was snoozing on the sofa. When I woke up I saw some dodgy looking girl in a car slowly driving up and down our estate looking into the gardens. She stopped outside the house of a neighbour who has a purebreed miniature yorkie. Next thing you know 'yer wan' is hopping out of the car and snatching up my neighbour's dog and legging it back to her car.

I ran out the door, nearly jumped on the bonnet like a rabid madwoman. Waving my arms and shouting at her: "STOP! That's not your DOG!"

When I got around to the driver's window, a startled looking girl told me that it was, in fact, her dog. Yes it was a completely different dog, same breed but obviously not my neighbour's dog.

Oh the shame. She must live near me too so I'm bound to run into her again.

jimthemental

Das Kitty wrote: »

Last weekend my friend told me how some unsavoury types tried to snatch her dog from her garden, but they managed to stop them.

I was feeling a little worse for wear the next morning after a good night out and was snoozing on the sofa. When I woke up I saw some dodgy looking girl in a car slowly driving up and down our estate looking into the gardens. She stopped outside the house of a neighbour who has a purebreed miniature yorkie. Next thing you know 'yer wan' is hopping out of the car and snatching up my neighbour's dog and legging it back to her car.

I ran out the door, nearly jumped on the bonnet like a rabid madwoman. Waving my arms and shouting at her: "STOP! That's not your DOG!"

When I got around to the driver's window, a startled looking girl told me that it was, in fact, her dog. Yes it was a completely different dog, same breed but obviously not my neighbour's dog.

Oh the shame. She must live near me too so I'm bound to run into her again.

Missed opportunity, you should have roared "STOP BITCH!" at her.

Topper Harley

Das Kitty wrote: »

Last weekend my friend told me how some unsavoury types tried to snatch her dog from her garden, but they managed to stop them.

I was feeling a little worse for wear the next morning after a good night out and was snoozing on the sofa. When I woke up I saw some dodgy looking girl in a car slowly driving up and down our estate looking into the gardens. She stopped outside the house of a neighbour who has a purebreed miniature yorkie. Next thing you know 'yer wan' is hopping out of the car and snatching up my neighbour's dog and legging it back to her car.

I ran out the door, nearly jumped on the bonnet like a rabid madwoman. Waving my arms and shouting at her: "STOP! That's not your DOG!"

When I got around to the driver's window, a startled looking girl told me that it was, in fact, her dog. Yes it was a completely different dog, same breed but obviously not my neighbour's dog.

Oh the shame. She must live near me too so I'm bound to run into her again.

It's good to know that there are people out there watching out for their neighbour's pets.

My nutcase dog got out of my garden recently and when he goes he just keeps going and never looks back. It was a few minutes before I noticed so as soon as I did, I went running up the road after him.

Luckily there were kids playing on the street who are familiar with him and knew I'd be looking for him so they caught him and kept him there till I arrived.

Don't let your good deed biting you in the ass deter you from future good deeding.

this is arse

Das Kitty wrote: »

Last weekend my friend told me how some unsavoury types tried to snatch her dog from her garden, but they managed to stop them.

I have this theory about dogs that go missing in Ireland. It could be some Asian immigrants that have fallen on hard times and decide that your pet is their next meal. Just a theory nothing to back it up at this stage...

Pighead

Seen a woman struggle to cross a section of footpath earlier on. There was a huge puddle the length of a fashionable cardigan blocking her path.

Pighead being the gentleman that he is took off the fashionable cardigan that he was wearing and laid it out over the puddle to aid the fair lady.

Turned out it was a rubbish idea as when she stepped on to the cardigan it just sank into the puddle meaning her feet got wet anyway. That never happened in the old movies when gentlemen would lay down their jackets. Perhaps they wore inflatable jackets back then.

Looking back at it now, Pighead probably should have carried her across the puddle. Or even got her to walk around it as although the puddle was fairly long it wasn't very wide. You live and learn.

TheIrishGrover

I remember listening to Gerry Ryan a few years ago as he read out a letter. The letter went something like:

"Dear Gerry, a few years ago you helped me out. I was on holiday in Turkey and met a guy. We were together all through the holiday. When my holiday finished we wanted to continue our relationship. He came and visited me a few times and I visited him. We wanted him to move to Ireland but he could not get a visa. You helped us out by using your contacts and legal knowledge etc and he got a visa. We got married a few months later.
Two weeks ago the husband went out to get the milk. I gave him a pound to get the lotto also. That evening we won 2 million pounds on the lotto. The following day my husband took the money and moved back to Turkey and I haven't seen him since........"

For the first time I actually felt sorry for Gerry.

jimthemental

TheIrishGrover wrote: »

I remember listening to Gerry Ryan a few years ago as he read out a letter. The letter went something like:

"Dear Gerry, a few years ago you helped me out. I was on holiday in Turkey and met a guy. We were together all through the holiday. When my holiday finished we wanted to continue our relationship. He came and visited me a few times and I visited him. We wanted him to move to Ireland but he could not get a visa. You helped us out by using your contacts and legal knowledge etc and he got a visa. We got married a few months later.
Two weeks ago the husband went out to get the milk. I gave him a pound to get the lotto also. That evening we won 2 million pounds on the lotto. The following day my husband took the money and moved back to Turkey and I haven't seen him since........"

For the first time I actually felt sorry for Gerry.

I'm going to have to call shenanigans on that one. She lives about 400 meters down the road. I remember when she was on the G Ryan show and all trying to get yer man a visa. He did leave her but there was no lotto involved. Incidentally she got married a few months ago.

Topper Harley

jimthemental wrote: »

I'm going to have to call shenanigans on that one. She lives about 400 meters down the road. I remember when she was on the G Ryan show and all trying to get yer man a visa. He did leave her but there was no lotto involved. Incidentally she got married a few months ago.

I'm going to have to call shenanigans on that one. I am that Lotto winning, sneaky Turk living a millionaire lifestyle back in Turkey.

Seriously though, it's great the way a Lottery win was thrown into a mildly interesting story, just to spice it up a bit. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

jimthemental

Topper Harley wrote: »

I'm going to have to call shenanigans on that one. I am that Lotto winning, sneaky Turk living a millionaire lifestyle back in Turkey.

Seriously though, it's great the way a Lottery win was thrown into a mildly interesting story, just to spice it up a bit. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Hey there could be more than one story like this, there were a lot of Turks living here round 10 years ago.

theboss80

this is arse wrote: »

I have this theory about dogs that go missing in Ireland. It could be some Asian immigrants that have fallen on hard times and decide that your pet is their next meal. Just a theory nothing to back it up at this stage...

this is arse

Topper Harley

jimthemental wrote: »

Hey there could be more than one story like this, there were a lot of Turks living here round 10 years ago.

I'm sure there are, but to make the ultimate story just pick the best parts from each one. Although, Gerry Ryan can no longer be a medium to communicate this super story to the people. Unless...

conorhal

I was walking home near Hueston Station when I came across an elderly man sprawled face down on the pavement.
I rushed over to check on him ,as it turns out he had not had a heart attack or something, he was just absolultely drunk off his face. Still I was concerned for him, so I helped him up off the ground grabbing him around the waist and under the arm, all the while asking him where he lived and if there was anybody that I could call to help him..... it was then I noticed the almighty stench and I realised to my horror that the old fart had shat all over himself, his back and hands were covered in it and he was spearing it all over me as I helped him to his feet. Ugh.....

Needler

conorhal wrote: »

I was walking home near Hueston Station when I came across an elderly man sprawled face down on the pavement.
I rushed over to check on him ,as it turns out he had not had a heart attack or something, he was just absolultely drunk off his face. Still I was concerned for him, so I helped him up off the ground grabbing him around the waist and under the arm, all the while asking him where he lived and if there was anybody that I could call to help him..... it was then I noticed the almighty stench and I realised to my horror that the old fart had shat all over himself, his back and hands were covered in it and he was spearing it all over me as I helped him to his feet. Ugh.....

ah jaysus did you burn those clothes?

dan1895

We wanted to get a dog but we said we'd do the right thing and get one from the pound rather than pay a breeder. People from the pound came out and basically told us we're not suitable as there wouldn't be someone with the dog at all times as we'd be working.

Meanwhile many people I know have their breeder bought dogs and are at home with them much less than we would of been:mad:

stargazer 68

conorhal wrote: »

it was then I noticed the almighty stench and I realised to my horror that the old fart had shat all over himself, his back and hands were covered in it and he was spearing it all over me as I helped him to his feet. Ugh.....

Ugh
Mate of mine was forever helping tramps etc - she doesnt do it anymore as:
We were on O'Connell Bridge one time and she saw this old guy whose trousers had fallen down. She decided to go and help him - 'poor man'. When she got close enough to help him she discovered that they hadn't 'fallen' down and he had a 'surprise' for her!! :eek::eek:

Gandalph

One of my besties had a hard break up with her lad awhile ago and was very emotional about it. It was her bday recently and me being a soppy bastard of a lad went and bought her flowers and left them at her doorstep with an anonymous note just so she would have that feel-good factor.

It was my bday the following week and she called up to me with a present so I didnt want to look like a stingy git so I told her I had left her the flowers...to which she broke down in tears because she had thought it was the ex who got them for her and was giving her get back together signals, well I felt like a twat haha. Not only that now I think she thinks I like her....nice guys truely finish last

Needler

dan1895 wrote: »

We wanted to get a dog but we said we'd do the right thing and get one from the pound rather than pay a breeder. People from the pound came out and basically told us we're not suitable as there wouldn't be someone with the dog at all times as we'd be working.

Meanwhile many people I know have their breeder bought dogs and are at home with them much less than we would of been:mad:

Tis a terror isn't it, at the pound they kill the animal after 6 months yet they won't give the dog a chance at a less than completely perfect home.

Dovies wrote: »

Ugh
Mate of mine was forever helping tramps etc - she doesnt do it anymore as:
We were on O'Connell Bridge one time and she saw this old guy whose trousers had fallen down. She decided to go and help him - 'poor man'. When she got close enough to help him she discovered that they hadn't 'fallen' down and he had a 'surprise' for her!! :eek::eek:

Ill take one guess at what the surprise was: A pet rabbit

Gandalph wrote: »

One of my besties had a hard break up with her lad awhile ago and was very emotional about it. It was her bday recently and me being a soppy bastard of a lad went and bought her flowers and left them at her doorstep with an anonymous note just so she would have that feel-good factor.

It was my bday the following week and she called up to me with a present so I didnt want to look like a stingy git so I told her I had left her the flowers...to which she broke down in tears because she had thought it was the ex who got them for her and was giving her get back together signals, well I felt like a twat haha. Not only that now I think she thinks I like her....nice guys truely finish last

Ahh you shouldn't have told her, just sent her another lot instead to give her even more signals

Chuck Stone

syklops wrote: »

I'm calling shenanigans on that story. You poured petrol into a bottle of smirnoff, stuffed a rag into it and went over to a guy in a go-safe van? What were you going to say? One for the road?

Sarcasm-o-meter broke?

I tried to break up a fight between two beautiful lesbians wrestling on an empty beach and, sadly, got raped.

*I'm okay - really - I'm fine*

Sterling Archer

I once walked a lost child (2 or 3 ish) to a checkout (where all lost children are brought) in a supermarket and had the childs mother accuse me of trying to abduct the child, Oh ya also i was in uniform and Worked there...

starbelgrade

Gandalph wrote: »

One of my besties had a hard break up with his lad

Fuck me. That sounds painful.

Mahou

Saw a guy get knocked off his motorbike so I got out of my car and ran over to see if he was ok or needed an ambulance. He was lying there shouting at me and swinging for me, thinking I had caused his accident. I ran back to my car and drove over him.

Chuck Stone

Shane_ef wrote: »

I once walked a lost child (2 or 3 ish) to a checkout (where all lost children are brought) in a supermarket and had the childs mother accuse me of trying to abduct the child, Oh ya also i was in uniform and Worked there...

What a bitch. She wanted to find someone to blame for her not having her child by her side.

Anyone will do.

Sheesh.

im invisible

Needler wrote: »

Ill take one guess at what the surprise was: A pet rabbit

Whats the difference between a rabbit and a hare?



You cant pull a rabbit outta your arse

BornToKill

Gandalph wrote: »

I told her I had left her the flowers...to which she broke down in tears because she had thought it was the ex who got them for her and was giving her get back together signals, well I felt like a twat haha. Not only that now I think she thinks I like her...

But you do, don't you?

Ghost Estate

Chuck Stone wrote: »

What a bitch. She wanted to find someone to blame for her not having her child by her side.

Anyone will do.

Sheesh.

Someone like that could do with a decent precisely measured 37g dosage of #6

Capt'n Midnight

A good deed never goes unpunished.

thought everyone knew that.

Karona

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

A good deed never goes unpunished.

thought everyone knew that.

Only learnt it from the song from Wicked.

I know, I know its <<<<<<< way to the musicals forum.:cool: