Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Friend or Waste of Time?

  • 05-07-2011 3:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, bit of back ground information first. I'm 20, male, in college and working part-time. (me in a nut shell)

    Growing up I never really had any friends, and certainly never had the group of 'lads' that a lot of people seem to have. I don't really mind this how ever, as i've come this far, and I'm confident enough when talking to people, although this is only a recent revelation.

    Now, I have one person that I would consider a friend, the kind of person I could trust. I'd have maybe 2 other people in my life that would be considered associates.

    Now recently one of these associates has started talking to me a little bit more. 2 weeks ago we met up and had a few drinks in the local. We've known each other since school, and he also knows my friend as we were all in the same year in school.

    About a week after we went for a few pints I learned via Facebook that he, and 2 other lads that we were chummy with in school all went to Belfast for the weekend. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get an invite, as myself and my friend had invited these lads on a trip this September (although they declined).

    Two days ago, he started chatting to me on FB and eventually Belfast came up in the conversation. He told me that it wasn't that good and that it would of been better if me and my friend had been there. He also asked me if I wanted to do anything soon. We're heading for drinks this Sunday.

    -Now I don't know what to make of this, granted it could just be someone that wants to keep in touch but at arms length or is it someone that want to become friends. The fact that he had a **** trip to Belfast made me think that he's getting a bit bored with the other two (one of which lives very far away) and want to make me a close friend. I don't know how I should accept this if it is the case, am I second choice or is he genuine.

    Any help will be much appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    baby s
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭baby s


    hey, i dont think he wants to keep you at arms length, it does sound like he wants to make friends. I wouldnt read too much into the non invite these things happen, people just dont think of everyone they should sometimes when they are organising things. The fact he said it wasn't much good and would of been more fun with you suggests he thinks your good fun and in all likely-hood wont make the mistake of not inviting you again! I think he sounds pretty genuine to me and I would just relax and give him a chance and see how ye get on.:D


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think you are reading too much into the situation. Just meet up with him and see if ye get on, have mutual interests, friendship will either develop or not from there. You dont just "decide" to be someones friend. You get to know them and they get to know you.


  • #4
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    The thing about friends is that they will have other friends and other things to do, they're not exclusive to you and don't have to include you in everything. My friends do lots of things I'm not part of, I do as many things they never get an invite to. I have no interest in a lot of what they do and vice versa. I expect it'll always be the same.

    If you want to push potential friends away, I can predict that a sure way to do it is to start checking up on FB and having a problem with a gang of lads heading to Belfast (or whatever) and not including you. They're entitled to go where they like and ask you or not.

    I'd suggest getting on with doing your own thing and enjoying it, while meeting people who may become friends. Invite people to the bits you want, be glad when they come, don't take it personally when they don't.


Advertisement