Let Down...Again

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Don't want this to sound like a wow is me moan but recently have been let down by a number of people close to me and I am having a hard time moving on from it. I know everyone gets let down in their lives but I am not somebody who surrounds myself with mean or bad people.

The most recent example was a male friend who I really belived would be there for me and had my best interests at heart. He seemed kind, genuine etc we were friends for over a year. I helped him through a bad patch and shortly after he lied and betrayed me. Won't go into the details. I told him I was very upset by his actions and he never apologised or anything. Just left it. I kind of belived that he would come back and apologise which would have taken some of the sting out of it but nothing - in fact he tried to make me feel bad for being annoyed.

Same with friends and family - am always there for people but when the situation is reversed it's all "i'm busy got a lot going on, get on with it kind of thing"

I know you aren't there for people just so they will do the same for you but it would be nice once in a while!

I guess going back to this male friend - we were so close and I miss him but my pride tells me I would be a door mat to be friends again. I have become very fixated on figuring out why he did what he did-know this is bad and should stop but the thought that he never truly cared for me hurts like hell.

Any advice in getting over stuff like this.

Thanks

ApeXaviour

I mean this as a genuine attempt to be helpful

http://make-everything-ok.com/

Ickle Magoo

ApeXavior infracted for unhelpful posting.

If you don't want to take posters issues seriously and offer constructive advice then kindly refrain from posting.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

LegacyUser

It's difficult to say much without knowing the details, but your privacy is your business. It's up to you whether you want to answer this, but in what way did he just "leave it"? Did he act as though he'd done nothing wrong, or give you the cold shoulder?

I went through a difficult situation with someone I knew a while back, and probably the best advice I got was that sometimes you have to accept that you won't know all the facts. You just have to leave those questions unanswered and move on. You can dwell on things, but it's usually not worth it.

thefeatheredcat

Op I've been in your shoes, and I took being let down very to heart.... so my advice to you is don't take it to heart, which I know is hard too but don't dwell on it. Consider on perhaps if you're being too available at some times for some people that it's taken for granted, but don't let it get you down, because it's really not worth letting it.

As for your male friend, that will hurt, especially if you were close. But there is a silver lining in that you understand how what happened has made you feel, which is negative and that he tried to make you feel bad for being annoyed. It is not worth questioning the reasons why (as are endless, and I think something you perhaps may never find out, especially directly from him) and I would encourage you to put it behind you after acknowledging what you feel and leave it in the past. Perhaps you have gained an insight on something you had not previously seen about them as a person and perhaps that is something to consider within the scope of your friendship if you want that in your life or not.

Treat yourself to something nice, look after yourself and put yourself first for a while (and a change) and keep yourself busy by being good to yourself in light of the situation you face. Enjoy something fun and positive for yourself, do something that is purely for you to enjoy it.