Monday Funnies

MonkieSocks

The Government has passed a new bill in the Dáil so gay men are entitled to more money.





It's called Knobseekers allowance

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While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place- a year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra thin spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart.

Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, “Great!, I love spaghetti!”

Billy Bob asked Bubba, “How ’bout you, how’s the toilet brush?

“Not so good,” replied Bubba, “I’m thinking ’bout switching back to paper.”

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A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, Arizona.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chilli.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.

The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chilli into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."