Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Am I being silly here?

  • 03-07-2011 12:11am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was just wondering if I'm right to be annoyed about this? It might be kinda silly but anyway, I've a friend living abroad and we email (I say email, its more private messaging on facebook) each other every month or so to keep in touch. She's been starting conversations more than me lately and usually we respond to each other in about 10mins (if we're both online) or whenever we get each others message. In any case there's usually a day at most before we respond to each other, well usually - she went through a phase of taking 2 weeks to respond to me that pissed me off no end since I could see she was online and had seen my message but she wasn't answering. She seems to be doing the same now and it's annoying me but I dunno if I'm right to be annoyed? I don't think that makes much sense, basically am I being unreasonable to expect that, if she asks me "how are you?" and I respond the next day, she should respond the next time she's online and not 2 or 3 weeks later?

    I should probably mention at this stage that we did go out for a while when she was back home last year and her leaving again was tough on both of us but it's in the past now and we are still friends.

    Thoughts?

    (PS mods feel free to move this to RI if you think it'd be better there, I'm not sure)


Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You've a right to be annoyed, sure. But it's not really a huge thing and you should probably try to forget about it.

    To be honest, the seeming rigidity of your email schedule looks like quite a commitment to me. Considering she's so far away, such frequent contact might be a bit too much to expect from her.

    In real life she's probably just as interested in being friends with you as you are with her, but in terms of internet time, and having other stuff to do, it seems she's just not as into emailing as you. So you have two choices:

    1.Maybe give her a bit of slack and just take the emails as they come.
    2.If it really bothers you, try giving her a dose of her own medicine and don't reply straight away: you never know, maybe she was taking you for granted.


  • #3
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    No, I don't think you are being silly at all. At a guess, I reckon she's trying to put some distance between ye. I'd be inclined to go with true-or-false's second option. Email her back sporadically and see what happens.


  • #4
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Sometimes I don't respond to my friends straight away, but it's because I might not have the time or the head space to reply. This could be it with her.
    I can see why it annoys you, but I wonder if she may be trying to distance herself from you like the other posters said.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It's not that I'm expecting an instant response from everything I send. Far from it, I was pointing out that what annoys me is when she takes about 3 weeks to answer and its clear that she's seen/read what I've sent her maybe weeks before she answers. It's not as if I'm sending huge messages either - they're 3 or 4 lines at most so it only requires a few seconds of her time to answer.

    I don't like playing games with her, or anyone for that matter, especially over something as trivial as the length of time it takes to answer a message. It seems a bit petty no? "I'm going to answer until 2 weeks after she messages me because that's how long it took her to answer me last time" seems like something a little kid would do, not someone in their mid 20s.

    I try not to let it annoy me but I do consider it to be pretty rude, but maybe I'm old fashioned?


Advertisement