Where to go from here?

LegacyUser

Do you ever think that you'll never meet somebody as "good" as your ex? It's a thought that has been running through my head for a while. It's probably really shallow and silly but it's something I can't knock at all. I feel that I'll never meet anybody as amazing as her again. It feels like I was punching above my weight when I was with her, so to speak. She's a model, sportswoman, genius as well as just being an amazing person on top of that. There's nothing she's not incredible at and I can't help but feel that anyone I will date in future will be a step down from her. Does anyone else feel this way about exes at all?

Nolanger

A true 'genius' would never be into sports.

LegacyUser

hgethryfjm123415667788 wrote: »

It feels like I was punching above my weight when I was with her, so to speak.

I always find lines like this are a bit of a red flag. "I don't deserve you" is one of those lines that often gets trotted out by people in love, but it comes with all sorts of baggage that says more about the person saying it than the person they're saying it to. Everyone deserves to be happy, including you!

How long were you with this girl? It comes across as though you kind of expected the relationship to fail. I'm assuming she broke up with you? Clearly, however incredible she was, she couldn't be the partner you wanted her to be. You just weren't right for each other - it happens. Nothing to do with who deserved what; you just weren't as compatible as you hoped you would be.

As for your description of her: well there are plenty of nice, amazing people out there! Looks are only important in a relationship up to a point, and honestly, I'd say the fact that she's a genius or a great athlete doesn't matter very much at all. 50% of the population has above-average intelligence - you'll have no difficulty finding someone you can intellectually engage with. (And of course, there are many types of genius, of which book-smarts is only one.)

You will find someone that you're comfortable with. Someone that you're attracted to, and can give you the emotional fulfilment that you want. But you're not going to find it mourning a relationship that didn't work out.

Long story short: you won't find your future by looking behind you.

Good luck

Ickle Magoo

Nolanger given a two week break as they failed to read the charter on their last holiday.

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Many thanks.

Kevin Duffy

Feel the same way about an ex of mine OP. Incredible woman, flawed relationship. Doubt it's just the two of us feeling that way. Nothing for it but to move on and not compare the people you meet to her. Best of luck.

IrishEyes19

OP, hate to state the facts, but when you feel you are less than than the person you are dating, clearly it wasnt meant to be in the first place anyway. And of course you will meet someone else who makes you feel as great, and certainly you should feel equal to the person you are dating, people are all different, but you are just focusing on her all the time and thats why you cant move on.

Id also suggest that maybe your enthuasiam could be shooting you in the foot, sure this woman was all great, but remember everyone has flaws and putting people on a pedastal above yourself, means you are publically stating you are less than them, and that isnt very attractive. get some confidence in yourself and rather than saying, I am so lucky to have her or to have had her, try: I'm glad Ive met someone who I really get on with.