What are your funniest stag/hen stories?

Mike_Eile

Ok, so we've all (well more or less) been on a stag or hen party either here in Ireland or abroad. What are your funniest stories from these weekends? It doesn't have to be dirty but something that made you laugh. Have there been any disasters/mishaps worth sharing?

Tipsy McSwagger

Sits back and waits for the first Hangover reference.

bijapos

Around 1994 a German mate of ours in Munich was marrying an English girl, she insisted that I and a couple of others do him a proper Irish-Scots-English stag (Germans do it slightly differently). So we went on the beer in Hamburg for a day and a night, took an early train back to Munich and then decided to go to Andechs, a monastery south of Munich which brews and sells one of the strongest beers in the world.

Took a taxi from there to Tutzing to get a train back to Munich, very drunk and with no sleep for over 36 hours we took the wrong train goin in the wrong direction and ended on a train that went through Garmisch and Innsbruck and we ended up after midnight on the Brenner Pass being thrown off the train by Italian border guards. Slept in the station, got kicked out at 6 in the morning and found out that between 8 of us we had about DM120 (€60). Drew lots, 2 took a train home, the other 6 (including the groom) hitched home. Groom got back to Munich at 7 pm that evening. Twas the last time we were asked to organise anything I'm afraid. Great memories of the day and a half on the beer, the rest was a total disaster.

xoxyx

Straws. Shaped. Like. Penises.

F'ing crazy man. Straws are meant to be tubular.

Oh yes, thems were crazy times. Beat that coke and hookers!!!

dan1895

Was in Liverpool for a stag last year. Dressed the stag up as a cheerleader and headed out to St Helens for a Rugby League match. The stag/cheerleader invaded the pitch at half time much to the delight of the ten thousand strong crowd.

FesterBeatty

We went to vegas for my mates stag. Great craic, one of the lads put the penthouse suite on his credit card (even though the missus would kill him!). We had some shots on the roof and my mate alan read this bull**** story about this pack of wolves he used to know. Was great fun til we bumped into mike tyson...

Long story short, mate was on the roof the whole time..

ArtyM

FesterBeatty wrote: »

We went to vegas for my mates stag. Great craic, one of the lads put the penthouse suite on his credit card (even though the missus would kill him!). We had some shots on the roof and my mate alan read this bull**** story about this pack of wolves he used to know. Was great fun til we bumped into mike tyson...

Long story short, mate was on the roof the whole time..

That would make a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy baaaad movie!

dr.bollocko

ArtyM wrote: »

That would make a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy baaaad movie!

Set it in Bangkok though and you're quids in.

Tipsy McSwagger

FesterBeatty wrote: »

We went to vegas for my mates stag. Great craic, one of the lads put the penthouse suite on his credit card (even though the missus would kill him!). We had some shots on the roof and my mate alan read this bull**** story about this pack of wolves he used to know. Was great fun til we bumped into mike tyson...

Long story short, mate was on the roof the whole time..

Bingo!!

flutterflye

Neither of us had one.
Waste of money.

Boom..... boom.......?!

Kevin Duffy

Anything worth knowing from a stag or hen party is not for this or any other thread....

MarkY91

not a stag but on holidays i woke up on top of a mountain

orourkeda

flutterflye wrote: »

Neither of us had one.
Waste of money.

Boom..... boom.......?!

derp dee derp took ur jobs derrrrrrrrrrp

uch

Went to a stag in Newcastle, won on horses, drank toooooo much, and missed everything after 8pm, Result!

gabria

Does anyone have any stag dos where no one goes on the aforementioned hangover?
I'm doing off the road go karting with my friend whos soon to be bethrothed at too young the age of 25. Lame all round??

flutterflye

orourkeda wrote: »

derp dee derp took ur jobs derrrrrrrrrrp

That's what it was supposed to be.

A stupid, pointless, unfunny story, for no particular reason.

Obvious derp not obvious?
Meh...

The Scientician

I'm going to a stag in the morning, well afternoon. If you see us do say hello.

joe stodge

To celebrate his impending marriage to Tracy, Doug and his friends Phil, Stu, and Tracy's brother Alan travel to Las Vegas for a bachelor party, staying at Caesar's Palace.
The following morning, Phil, Stu and Alan awaken to find they have no memory of the previous night and Doug is nowhere to be found. Stu is missing a tooth, their villa is in disarray, a tiger is in their bathroom, and a baby is in the closet. They find Doug's mattress impaled on a statue outside of their hotel and when they ask for their Mercedes the valet delivers a police cruiser.
Retracing their steps, the trio travel to a hospital and are informed that they were drugged with roofies, causing their memory loss, and that they came to the hospital from a chapel. At the chapel it emerges that Stu married a stripper named Jade despite having a long-term but mean-spirited girlfriend, Melissa. Outside the chapel, the trio are attacked by gangsters but escape to Jade's apartment, where they learn that she is the mother of the baby. The police arrive and arrest the men for stealing the police car. The officers reveal that the Mercedes is at impound, and agree to release the trio in exchange for their participation in a taser demonstration. Back in the Mercedes, they uncover a naked Chinese man in the trunk, who attacks them with a crowbar before running away. Alan admits that, to ensure they had a good night, he had spiked their drinks with roofies, believing them to be ecstacy.
They return to the hotel room to find Mike Tyson, who orders them to return his stolen tiger in exchange for information about Doug. After drugging the tiger with the remaining roofies, they drive it to Tyson's mansion, where it wakes up and destroys the inside of the Mercedes. Tyson has camera footage that shows Doug was still with them when they stole the tiger.
On the way back to the hotel, their car is rammed by Leslie Chow, who turns out to be the naked Chinese man. He demands they return $80,000 that they stole from him or he will kill Doug. Winning $82,400 from a card game with the help of Alan counting cards, they go to the exchange with Chow. But it turns out it`s a different Doug.
With the wedding occurring in hours, Phil calls Tracy to admit they cannot find Doug. Following a conversation with "Black Doug", Stu realizes where Doug is. The trio travel back to their hotel where they find Doug on the roof, moved there on his mattress while he was asleep, as a prank by Stu, Phil and Alan. Before leaving, Stu makes arrangements to meet with Jade the following week to pursue a relationship. With less than four hours before the wedding and with no flights available, the four friends race home, with Doug revealing he has possession of Chow's original $80,000. They arrive late to the wedding but Doug and Tracy are married and Stu breaks up with Melissa. As the reception ends, Alan finds Stu's digital camera chronicling the events they cannot remember and the four agree to look at the pictures together once before erasing the evidence of their exploits.

AckwelFoley

..at my own stag in sligo we booked an area in a pub to watch the Man United Barcelona champions league final, it was in the back of the pub and included a 100 or so Man united supporters from the man united supporters club.

The lads were anxious to head down, i said i'll jump into the shower and meet them there. I get out of the shower and i notice a barcelona shirt on the bed and not another stitch of cloths other than jeans and shoes... all my cloths were gone the dick heads took all my cloths

I had to walk into the pub and sit watching the game cheering united in a barcelona top, feeling like a complete bollox, while the rest of them being staunch liverpool fans cheered barcelona, one of them in particular had a MASSIVE bet riding on barcelona winning so he'd go hay wire when they would score - I thought there was going to be murder in the place.. partcularly when one of the stag party members got my barcelona shirt after the game and literally rubbed it into the face of one of the united fans from the supporters club :eek:

scotty_irish

MarkY91 wrote: »

not a stag but on holidays i woke up on top of a mountain

i once woke up on a golf green with 18 flags beside me.

AckwelFoley

scotty_irish wrote: »

i once woke up on a golf green with 18 flags beside me.

you had the 19th hole

scotty_irish

joe stodge wrote: »

To celebrate his impending marriage to Tracy, Doug and his friends Phil, Stu, and Tracy's brother Alan travel to Las Vegas for a bachelor party, staying at Caesar's Palace.
The following morning, Phil, Stu and Alan awaken to find they have no memory of the previous night and Doug is nowhere to be found. Stu is missing a tooth, their villa is in disarray, a tiger is in their bathroom, and a baby is in the closet. They find Doug's mattress impaled on a statue outside of their hotel and when they ask for their Mercedes the valet delivers a police cruiser.
Retracing their steps, the trio travel to a hospital and are informed that they were drugged with roofies, causing their memory loss, and that they came to the hospital from a chapel. At the chapel it emerges that Stu married a stripper named Jade despite having a long-term but mean-spirited girlfriend, Melissa. Outside the chapel, the trio are attacked by gangsters but escape to Jade's apartment, where they learn that she is the mother of the baby. The police arrive and arrest the men for stealing the police car. The officers reveal that the Mercedes is at impound, and agree to release the trio in exchange for their participation in a taser demonstration. Back in the Mercedes, they uncover a naked Chinese man in the trunk, who attacks them with a crowbar before running away. Alan admits that, to ensure they had a good night, he had spiked their drinks with roofies, believing them to be ecstacy.
They return to the hotel room to find Mike Tyson, who orders them to return his stolen tiger in exchange for information about Doug. After drugging the tiger with the remaining roofies, they drive it to Tyson's mansion, where it wakes up and destroys the inside of the Mercedes. Tyson has camera footage that shows Doug was still with them when they stole the tiger.
On the way back to the hotel, their car is rammed by Leslie Chow, who turns out to be the naked Chinese man. He demands they return $80,000 that they stole from him or he will kill Doug. Winning $82,400 from a card game with the help of Alan counting cards, they go to the exchange with Chow. But it turns out it`s a different Doug.
With the wedding occurring in hours, Phil calls Tracy to admit they cannot find Doug. Following a conversation with "Black Doug", Stu realizes where Doug is. The trio travel back to their hotel where they find Doug on the roof, moved there on his mattress while he was asleep, as a prank by Stu, Phil and Alan. Before leaving, Stu makes arrangements to meet with Jade the following week to pursue a relationship. With less than four hours before the wedding and with no flights available, the four friends race home, with Doug revealing he has possession of Chow's original $80,000. They arrive late to the wedding but Doug and Tracy are married and Stu breaks up with Melissa. As the reception ends, Alan finds Stu's digital camera chronicling the events they cannot remember and the four agree to look at the pictures together once before erasing the evidence of their exploits.

too much work went into that. if your gonna put that much effort into something, at least do something that someone will be f*cked reading.

saintsaltynuts

scotty_irish wrote: »

too much work went into that. if your gonna put that much effort into something, at least do something that someone will be f*cked reading.

Cheers all round.

thebigbiffo

About 15 of us went to Liverpool on bus as part of a match package, got on at 5am and started drinking. There was families and couples on the bus going and we were relatively civilised for a while...there was one couple who had the unfortunate honour of being closest to our group - the girl was pretty hot and it was obvious they were a new couple.

We had the usual weekend - plenty of side stories - and got the bus back on the Sunday afternoon. Drinking on the bus obviously, stopped in the longest placename in the world, bought more beer, drank sang and laughed our way through a motorway stoppage. We started to get the hot girl with the BF into the cans, having the craic and flirting etc. On the ferry we hit the vodka, met yer one again and gave her a few shots, back on the bus and the craic was really going strong now. As we rolled off the ferry we had herself showing us the tattoo 'your name here' she had on her ass. BF's final straw. He jumps up and starts screaming "you f'ucking bitch. I spent a fortune on this trip and you're here slutting around with these c'unts. I'm ****ing done with you". He was practically crying. He jumps off the bus on the south quays across from the Point and goes legging it, no bag, jacket nothing, full tilt down the quays and one of my mates is convinced he's going to top himself so sprints after him till he realises it's ok. Herself just shrugs, goes "ahhh **** him, was only with him a few months anyway" and asks for another can. We'd some craic with her for the rest of the bus journey (conscience fully dulled by the vodka) and lads are practically tripping over themselves trying to get in to her. She ended up staying the night round the area...say no more.

I f'ucking love a good stag.

stovelid

We went for a meal and had a few pints and didn't go to a strip club, shave each other's hair off or end up in prison cell.

How we laughed.

Tilt Gone

Two arrests, one broken arm, one case of crabs and one missing eyebrow....


Best hen I was ever on.


(Bet ya didn't see that coming)