Saddles to save you penis

Rew

http://gizmodo.com/5816286/five-saddles-to-save-your-penis-from-your-bike

Interesting read and saddle designs.

Beasty

Worked for me;)

Lumen

I have one on my TT bike, only it's the (even) uglier grey version. It's a "cheat" to get around the 50mm rule.

I prefer a conventional cut out saddle on my other bikes.

KTRIC

Nice one, my enormously large cock keeps getting in the way when I try to sit on some of the smaller saddles. Might try one of them in the future.

paky

good to see this development. i use to get awful numbing pain down there from cycling. one question: where do your b.alls go? :pac:

DirkVoodoo

Thank God! Every saddle I use keeps costing me far too much penis, now I can start saving for the future!

Khannie

Jesus, my junk!

ryan_sherlock

I have an Adamo on the TT bike too - a boat anchor but works well. Slight chaffing on the inside of my legs (the nose is pretty wide) but other than that, very comfortable when in the aero tuck. Not cheap though

Normal saddles on all my other bikes.

Beasty

Same here - did a couple of 25m TT's earlier in the season with a traditional shaped (but TT specific) saddle and it took a couple of days to get all the feeling back!

Did one on Tuesday with the new saddle, ane there was absolutely no numbness whatsoever. I'll be doing a 50mTT in a few weeks - that will be the real test, but for 10m TTs and the road bike a normal saddle is fine

niceonetom

paky wrote: »

good to see this development. i use to get awful numbing pain down there from cycling. one question: where do your b.alls go? :pac:

I've never used one of these saddles but I presume you pull your balls down and slide back onto the saddle so that the orchids are left to dangle safely beneath the saddle. Just remember not to stand up.

Beasty

Set up instructions

How to sit

More info here

G2ECE

personally, I was always a little more concerned for the liathroidi.......... never gave the purple headed warrior a second thought.........

Khannie

niceonetom wrote: »

I've never used one of these saddles but I presume you pull your balls down and slide back onto the saddle so that the orchids are left to dangle safely beneath the saddle.

You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking. This is serious business. I genuinely value my penis quite a bit.

Rovi

niceonetom wrote: »

I've never used one of these saddles but I presume you pull your balls down and slide back onto the saddle so that the orchids are left to dangle safely beneath the saddle. Just remember not to stand up.

And so, we come back around to the crotchless bibs mentioned in the Dublin cycling club - which to consider? thread.

G2ECE

Khannie wrote: »

You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking. This is serious business. I genuinely value my penis quite a bit.

Who knows?? I've heard of horror stories with misplaced cock rings too.......

Khannie

Hmmm.....A "no nose" saddle could be just the thing. This looks interesting anyway (haven't read the full thing).

AstraMonti

I prefer not having children than putting one of these on my bike. Seriously.

Beasty

...I think we've got Khannie in a bit of a panic lads, and it's not even Friday yet ....:D

Khannie

Haha. I am seriously panicked! I'm not joking! If my wife saw this thread, my bike would be in the skip that's coming to our house this weekend.

on_the_nickel

"There's as much penis inside the body as outside," [reproductive physiologist Dr. Steven Schrader] told me.

I knew it!3" outside, 3" inside = 6". I'm average. I'm average!

I'M AVERAGE!!!

Khannie

Khannie wrote: »

Haha. I am seriously panicked! I'm not joking! If my wife saw this thread, my bike would be in the skip that's coming to our house this weekend.

/gets nervous

/abuses cmod position and deletes thread

Beasty

Khannie wrote: »

/gets nervous

/abuses cmod position and deletes thread

Just ban her from the forum.

Rew

AstraMonti wrote: »

I prefer not having children than putting one of these on my bike. Seriously.

I think in this case its more a case of not not being able to have sex more so then damaging the boys!

bcmf

coolbeans

Will people please stop saying "penis"!

mcmoustache

A true cyclist removes his penis and ball-sack after shaving his legs. Obviously to reduce weight and drag.

Beasty

mcmoustache wrote: »

A true cyclist removes his penis and ball-sack after shaving his legs. Obviously to reduce weight and drag.

Borrowing the famous McEnroe cry

Eu(can)nuch be serious!

aquanaut

niceonetom wrote: »

I've never used one of these saddles but I presume you pull your balls down and slide back onto the saddle so that the orchids are left to dangle safely beneath the saddle. Just remember not to stand up.

In the saddlebag

Paralympic Cyclist

I use the Adamo on my TT bike and Selle SMP on my road bike. Both really funny looking saddles and both have saved my cycling career after some pretty serious injuries 'down there' from cycling.

More and more TT riders are starting to use the Adamo as it really is quite comfy once you get it set up right and used to it. No pain, even after a 40km TT for me.

tomasrojo

Some great casual learnedness in the forum today.

"Aestivation" in the Fleets thread.
"Orchid" in its original Greek meaning here.

May I extend my most sincere contrafibularities.

niceonetom

Casual learnedness to some, bollocks to others, this thread works at many levels.

Uncle Mclovin

Reading this thread is making me weak and nauseous.


Can cycling actually damage your man parts? Serious question.

TheBlaaMan

Damage - not sure .............. but trapped nerves and blood vessels even for a short period can lead to , eh, interesting sensations (damhik):rolleyes:

Khannie

Uncle Mclovin wrote: »

Reading this thread is making me weak and nauseous.

Glad it's not just me!

Uncle Mclovin wrote: »

Can cycling actually damage your man parts? Serious question.

Seems it can. I'll be tilting my saddle forward this evening to bear more weight on my bum.

AstraMonti

Khannie wrote: »

Seems it can. I'll be tilting my saddle forward this evening to bear more weight on my bum.

Don't without measuring other things, it can cause other problems.

Khannie

AstraMonti wrote: »

Don't without measuring other things, it can cause other problems.

Can you be more specific? Assume I know nothing (because it's probably true).

AstraMonti

Well assuming you already have a correct fit on the bike, moving the saddle will alter the way you are sitting on the bike, and can lead to greater/lesser angles on your hips, that could potentially lead to hip flexor issues or lower back. Your best bet is to get a proper fit if you haven't. The width of the saddle is more important and if you are feeling uncomfortable you can get one with a cut in the middle.

I am by far not an expert, the majority of the stuff I learnt it in this forum.

doozerie

Your bike is destroying your penis. Unless you are a woman. In which case it's destroying your vagina.

I'm not qualified, either medically or gender-wise, to comment definitively on this but I suspect that if riding your bike is destroying your vagina then you're probably doing something very very wrong and no saddle can really help you.

As for ugliness, well these take some beating and make the Adamo look like a thing of beauty.

torturedsoul

doozerie wrote: »

I'm not qualified, either medically or gender-wise, to comment definitively on this but I suspect that if riding your bike is destroying your vagina then you're probably doing something very very wrong and no saddle can really help you.

As for ugliness, well these take some beating and make the Adamo look like a thing of beauty.

Holy **** that actually repulsed me. I made a face and everything

Khannie

Who cares what it looks like? This is your penis we're talking about here lads. YOUR PENIS!!!

torturedsoul

what model should one get for a a simple road bike. There is a substantial difference in size between the road and the race saddle!

Any recommendations?

Beasty

Just some stats to throw in based on personal experience:

No of kide before I started cycling - 4
No of kids since I started cycling - none

Not a scientific sampling process, but food for thought;)

(and it is now Friday ....:D)

Khannie

Beasty wrote: »

No of kide before I started cycling - 4
No of kids since I started cycling - none

I am also 3 and 0!!!! It's an epidemic!!!!


Happy Friday

07Lapierre

No of kids 1. I dont want any more kids, so i guess i'll keep cycling so!

morana

I misread it... thought it was shave

Sr. Assumpta

morana wrote: »

I misread it... thought it was shave

So did I. I thought it read 'penis', seems it was 'brain'.

C3PO

niceonetom wrote: »

I've never used one of these saddles but I presume you pull your balls down and slide back onto the saddle so that the orchids are left to dangle safely beneath the saddle. Just remember not to stand up.

First time I ever laughed out loud at a Boards post ...... Nice..One..Tom!