Being Bi, is so frustrating, having to fancy lads in private. Sick of being single.

trevbren

Hey guys. A bit random, but I was online and just said I'd post this to see if anyone was feeling similar.

I'm 22, from roscommon, livin in galway, and bi, with a preference for lads. Great personality, love life, loads of friends, exam results got, 2.1 degree guaranteed, part-time job, very popular, loads of confidence, life is good. But I'm missing two crucial things, a fondness for going out and a self confidence to go up and chat a girl (or a lad).

The thing is I get the odd night like tonight, where I get a small bit down and realise I'm still a fe*kin single virgin, who's sexual experiences consist of snogging two girls.

Some days and nights I feel like, God, 22 and still single, everyone else has a gf and are pulling girls like its going out of fashion. Why the hell can't i be like them. I've posted on this before looking for advice on how to chat up girls, but I havn't had a great chance to put it into practice.

I look at my mates and think, jesus lads ye lucky gombeens! What I'd give to be in your situation. I'm not one of these lads that would go out and try to pull the first girl I meet. I'd genuinely love a girlfriend to be close and intimate with. I'm so sound and nice, everyone keeps saying it. Yet i'm still single. And the lads are right when they say "look they wont come to you, you have to go out and chat them up". Damn it girls why cant ye come over to me! I know this is a random post and I dont know what advice I'm looking for! Just said I'd post what I feel and see what the good people on boards might write back.

Also it doesnt help that I'm bi... and have a preference for lads. Would love to get close with a sound, genuine lad like me. I want a wife and kids, so I hope I dont fall in love with a guy first. ANyways, my point with this problem is, how the hell do i meet a lad? I cant do it in public unfortunately, because I'm not ready to come out. On this stupid gay chatroom, thats full of lads up their own arses who just care about sex. Obviously I'm gaggin for that, but I want a lad to chat with who doesnt want it str8 away.

4 of my mates know I'm bi and are great about it. Nothing has changed. I know everybody would be ok about it, I just dont want to come out to everybody because I've been str8 actin 4 years. I want so much and wish I had sum1 to share my life and love with.

MAIN POINT... I'M LONELY GUYS, not all the time thank god. But some nights like tonight I really feel it... And forgive my french, but its a basterd.

Sorry for the random, unstructured post there. Just wrote it as i said it in my head. Thanks for reading, and if ya can, post ur opinions on what i shud do. Thanks guys. Have a good week.

checkcheek

Im the same, have a great life in general, but there is times i just feel so down in the dumos, but i think that it couold be worse so then im like OK Lets get up, Go and do something!!

Im 18 but i know life is short so live each day as if it were your last, cheesy, i know but its true. You never know whats around the corner.

Chuchoter

You don't want to come out, you don't want to spend your life with a man...yet you do want to find a guy who wants more than just sex. This is more complicated than just tips to find people

ninty9er

I was exactly there about 2 years ago OP. It gets easier, but I found that it got much much easier after I came out as now I have friends who try to set me up with other guys, not that it's ever come to anything more than a drunken kiss and a bit of fondling.

You'll find someone, the only difficulty common regardless of sexuality is whether they like you back!

Lots of people aren't looking for a relationship, and being honest I sometimes wonder if one presented itself to me would I be ready for it. The answer to that one is it depends on the person.

trevbren

Ok guys. I'm gonna level with ye. I dont know why I keep saying I'm bi when I no damn well I'm gay. I'm gay lads, and its awful. I'm single and sick of it, yet I do not want a relationship with a guy. I want one with a girl. I'm hoping and praying that I can fall in love with a girl and get married and have kids. But as time goes by I'm so scared that this will not happen.

I think I love one of my best mates and thats not being dramatic. I'm jealous of his gf and I cant stop looking at him and I think about him often. I just love being in his company and it is truly soul destroying that I can never be with him as he is very straight.

Can i safely say i'm gay, eventhough I've had no sexual contact with guys or girls, given that I'm a bit shy? I think I am, because I eye up more guys than girls. Its only the odd girl that I'd say to myself "ya I would". But with most lads i'd bloddy jump at the chance.

Oh my god guys I dont know where to go or what to do. I never thought I'd say this guys, but I hate being gay... I dont hate myself, but I hate being gay... I dont know what to do. And this is in fact what my problem is. I'm gonna repost this as a thread. Thanks for reading.

apache

trevbren wrote: »

Ok guys. I'm gonna level with ye. I dont know why I keep saying I'm bi when I no damn well I'm gay. I'm gay lads, and its awful. I'm single and sick of it, yet I do not want a relationship with a guy. I want one with a girl. I'm hoping and praying that I can fall in love with a girl and get married and have kids. But as time goes by I'm so scared that this will not happen.

I think I love one of my best mates and thats not being dramatic. I'm jealous of his gf and I cant stop looking at him and I think about him often. I just love being in his company and it is truly soul destroying that I can never be with him as he is very straight.

Can i safely say i'm gay, eventhough I've had no sexual contact with guys or girls, given that I'm a bit shy? I think I am, because I eye up more guys than girls. Its only the odd girl that I'd say to myself "ya I would". But with most lads i'd bloddy jump at the chance.

Oh my god guys I dont know where to go or what to do. I never thought I'd say this guys, but I hate being gay... I dont hate myself, but I hate being gay... I dont know what to do. And this is in fact what my problem is. I'm gonna repost this as a thread. Thanks for reading.

if you eye up girls you're bi. here we go again. its like going around the mulberry bush with you guys!
i'm gay on monday - i'm bi on friday :P

trevbren

God I hope you're right apache, I really do. But I eye up more lads than girls... Surely that means something... I also prefer (lets call it gay internet entertainment) instead of straight. Whats your take on my situation buddy? And thanks for ur replies. I appreciate it.

apache

trevbren wrote: »

God I hope you're right apache, I really do. But I eye up more lads than girls... Surely that means something... I also prefer (lets call it gay internet entertainment) instead of straight. Whats your take on my situation buddy? And thanks for ur replies. I appreciate it.

ah trevbren how are ya?
do you just want a relationship with a girl and sex with men?
you should go out on the scene and experiment. its the only way you are going to know what you are.
some people know all their life. others have to experiment to find out.

there is a non scene group that meets up called digs? i'll try and find a link for you. they meet non scene and its very casual and comfortable so i hear.

trevbren

Thats exactly what I want. But what if I stop feeling things for women... I think ur right... I have to go out on the scene and see for myself... I just hope i get the right outcome. Cheers buddy

apache

no probs
experiment with girls too because you might be bi. you probably are.

they like to have their cake and eat it :P

trevbren

Will do man.

Hopeless at chattin them up man, as you can see from other stuff I've posted on this in the past! Thanks again dude. You've made me feel better.

One last thing, would you recommend me going to a gay bar on my own? I really want to go, but I dont fancy bringing any mates with me.

apache

trevbren wrote: »

Will do man.

Hopeless at chattin them up man, as you can see from other stuff I've posted on this in the past! Thanks again dude. You've made me feel better.

One last thing, would you recommend me going to a gay bar on my own? I really want to go, but I dont fancy bringing any mates with me.

tut i'm a woman. one of the lesbos
join a group or yeah theres no problem going on your own. maybe try panti or the flounge first and leave the nightclubs till another time. they can be a bit of a meat market.
good luck my friend x

edit - just copped on you are from galway. theres a thread there with a lad trying to start a bi group. perfecto!

trevbren

Oh crap I'm sorry hun!

Cheers for all the advice. Where's panti and the flounge? Sorry... I'm hopeless!

Meesared

The Flounge (Front Lounge) is on Parliment street and Pantibar, is on Capel Street

apache

trevbren wrote: »

Oh crap I'm sorry hun!

Cheers for all the advice. Where's panti and the flounge? Sorry... I'm hopeless!

thats ok lovey

panti is on caple st and the flounge is on parliament st in dublin. but i edited there when i realised you were in galway.

apache

Meesared wrote: »

The Flounge (Front Lounge) is on Parliment street and Pantibar, is on Capel Street

SNAP!

Meesared

apache wrote: »

thats ok lovey

panti is on caple st and the flounge is on parliament st in dublin. but i edited there when i realised you were in galway.

Lol too slow