2 minds???

LegacyUser

hi,
i was wondering about something i cant put my finger on.

i have been with my gf for a couple of years and everything is going really well. we are best mates and have a great relationship.

so whats bugging me is that when im with her everything seems fine and things in general feel good but sometimes when im alone or with her and just in a different room i get these thoughts from no where to break up.

im not sure why even as she is a great person who i always like spending time with. i have done some soul searching and maybe im guessing i might not in some way want exactly what she wants in the future and my gut knows it?(as she wants to settle and have a family quite soon) i just feel silly for thinking this when at present and up until now everything has been great and know body can tell what is going to happen.

is this normal? i just dont want in 10years to be still thinking this or when i move in with her.which is happening soon.

thanks for listening. any thoughts would be great!

Abi

Unregistered wrote: »

hi,
i was wondering about something i cant put my finger on.

i have been with my gf for a couple of years and everything is going really well. we are best mates and have a great relationship.

so whats bugging me is that when im with her everything seems fine and things in general feel good but sometimes when im alone or with her and just in a different room i get these thoughts from no where to break up.

im not sure why even as she is a great person who i always like spending time with. i have done some soul searching and maybe im guessing i might not in some way want exactly what she wants in the future and my gut knows it?(as she wants to settle and have a family quite soon) i just feel silly for thinking this when at present and up until now everything has been great and know body can tell what is going to happen.

is this normal? i just dont want in 10years to be still thinking this or when i move in with her.which is happening soon.

thanks for listening. any thoughts would be great!

Hi OP

It does seem that yourself and your gf are in two different frames of mind. You need to tell her this. You also said that moving in together is something that is imminent, if it were me I'd want to get a few of these things talked out first.

I think you need to tell her that you are happy with her, and enjoying life with her - but nothing more for now. If she loves you enough, she will respect that. let nobody force you down a road you're not ready for. You are going to have to make that very clear with her, espcially before you move in together. You don't want that rearing its ugly head further down the road, or you'll feel incredibly trapped.

You might have talked her briefly about this, but I'd bring it up again before the move in.

nicechick!

Unregistered wrote: »

hi,
i was wondering about something i cant put my finger on.

i have been with my gf for a couple of years and everything is going really well. we are best mates and have a great relationship.

so whats bugging me is that when im with her everything seems fine and things in general feel good but sometimes when im alone or with her and just in a different room i get these thoughts from no where to break up.

im not sure why even as she is a great person who i always like spending time with. i have done some soul searching and maybe im guessing i might not in some way want exactly what she wants in the future and my gut knows it?(as she wants to settle and have a family quite soon) i just feel silly for thinking this when at present and up until now everything has been great and know body can tell what is going to happen.

is this normal? i just dont want in 10years to be still thinking this or when i move in with her.which is happening soon.

thanks for listening. any thoughts would be great!

No one can really answer this but yourself, its very daunting to be moving in with someone its taking things to a slightly different level and that can be very positive when its something you and your partner both want but you need to consider a number of things YOURSELF though your partner feelings & thoughts do count and are important but sometimes we forget about ourselves along the way.

Are you ready to move in together? Is this what you really want? Your obviously having doubts we all do but whatever happens you need to be doing this for the right reasons! so my advice be brave have that conversation with her its important also to consider the fact that she wants children are you ready for this? Is this also what you really want?

Fentdog84

Well you gotta listen to your gut feeling. It sounds like she is in control of the relationship and wants to keep things progressing(which isnt unreasonable). My own mantra would be if in doubt leave it out..you need to ask yourself if you really like this girl, I mean she might be a nice girl and everything but is she the one you want to perhaps spend the rest of your life with because that seems to be where its going..dont be afraid to make the tough decision if its what you are really feeling..