Feeling has changed

LegacyUser

I just wanted to get an outsiders opinion on something I am feeling. Basically I fell in love a few years ago with a wonderful girl, she is the most amazing person I have ever felt. The love was crazy, insane, emotions flying everywhere and she was leaving to live abroad a few months after we met. We did a long distance for a year - we were crazy in love but it that first/irrrational love. I went traveling for 2 months and now she's still abroad but we can't be without one another in ach others lives.

Something has changed though, like the vibrant, energised love is gone and its been replaced with something else, something like friendship but I still feel like I love her, am in love with her, in a very different way. Is this possible? Is it progressive, like I feel like we're not crazy false love anymore and now have something more solid and real. Has this happened to anyone? She feels the same.

Thanks in advance

squonk

I don't know but what you said started alarm bells ringing for me.

I read it as this: We're both living apart so we don't see each other that often and a physical relationship isn't really possible. I love her, but it's more like friendship. She feels the same way. We're so used to being together now and we get on very well but we're not really too pushed about examining this really.

Are there milestones here OP? Is she coming home at any stage? I know friends who did the long distance thing and got married so I'm not knocking you or invalidating anything you say but I went with what my gut told me. I'm sure someone else will have a different opinion. I've never done the long distance thing, at least not with any great success anyway so I'm not the last word here by any means!

funki_munkee

I think this is a natural progression. The start of a relationship is always seen as a new and exciting time, both parties enjoying the thrill of getting to know the other person etc etc. After a while, in order for a relationship to have staying power it does boil down to whether there is a friendship at the foundation of the relationship. There isn't any problem with having a good friendship with your partner, most girlfriends would consider their boyfriend their best friend and vice versa. Its easy to distinguish between whether someone is just a friend and falls into the dreaded "friend zone" and whether its someone that yes you are good friends with but also who you love deeply. From the way you wrote your original post, it sounds like you do in fact love this girl and so I wouldnt be worried about the fact that you two get on so well. Its inevitable that you would establish a stronger friendship than most from doing the long distance thing, as I imagine you spend most of your time talking about shared interests or how your day has been etc.!

LegacyUser

Yeah it's not that I am worried, it just sometimes confusing. The physical element to us remains, perhaps not as strong as the start but I still want to rip clothes off and smell/touch... be with her.

I meant to say 2 years not 2 months above, when I went abroad - she returned to Ireland to give us a proper go last year but it sort of blew up in our faces, both of us freaked, just many issues surrounding it. I suppose it has taught us more about one another, now we're just "normal" - the crazy stage sort of places each other on platforms and with that an illusional barrier to just becoming best friends - but I think it is normal. It's far healthier. Has anyone else experienced this. Is this maturing!! We were very young when we met and both suffered from massive baggage.


It's interesting!