Repairing an old friendship

juliet38

Hey girls,

Just looking for some advice. Was best friends with this girl for about two years but i was a major mess for most of that time and ended up ruining the friendship by betraying her trust. I drank alot at the time and said and did things that i really regret now. She told me she never wanted anything to do with me again and i eventually gave up trying to fix things when it was clear she didn't want to. Anyway it's nearly two years on now and i've sorted my life out but for some reason lately i've been thinking about her alot and i'm not sure if it's my guilty conscience or what but thinking about texting her just to see how she is. Just wondering if i should let things be and just accept that it's a part of my life that belongs in the past or would it be worth trying to make peace with her? Any advice would be appreciated!

Bottle_of_Smoke

juliet38 wrote: »

Hey girls,

Just looking for some advice. Was best friends with this girl for about two years but i was a major mess for most of that time and ended up ruining the friendship by betraying her trust. I drank alot at the time and said and did things that i really regret now. She told me she never wanted anything to do with me again and i eventually gave up trying to fix things when it was clear she didn't want to. Anyway it's nearly two years on now and i've sorted my life out but for some reason lately i've been thinking about her alot and i'm not sure if it's my guilty conscience or what but thinking about texting her just to see how she is. Just wondering if i should let things be and just accept that it's a part of my life that belongs in the past or would it be worth trying to make peace with her? Any advice would be appreciated!

If you still think about it a lot maybe it is your conscience. Perhaps you could send her a message detailing how sorry you are but strictly without putting any pressure on her to reunite the friendship.

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to PI.

juliet38

Ya that sounds like a good approach, i might just do that when i pluck up the courage! Thanks for reply

premierlass

If you do decide to contact her, I would send a letter or an email, not a text. Explain why you said what you did but don't try to excuse it. Make it clear that you wish to apologise without any expectation that she will respond. She may well ignore it, but at least you will have done your best to make amends.

cena

I too have said somthing too a close friend a dew years back. have emailed her a few time saying i'm sorry etc. Still text her from time too time even birthday hopeing one day I well here from her.

Vicxas

I have a similar situation, we both did and said things we regret and stopped contact last year, ive wanted to try and medn fences but im not the one who ended the friendship so i guess its a pride thing i suppose...

sam34

cena wrote: »

I too have said somthing too a close friend a dew years back. have emailed her a few time saying i'm sorry etc. Still text her from time too time even birthday hopeing one day I well here from her.

why do you persist in contacting her? she hasnt replied, making it clear she doesnt want contact. yet you still do it, even on special occasions for her, probably spoiling her birthday by dragging up memories.

someone from my past does this to me, and i can tell you it will never lead to me contacting them, they are only pushing me further and further away and affirming for me that i am miles better off without them in my life.

let it go.

give her peace.

juliet38

It's difficult and sometimes i think if a friendship is really a true one then it should be able survive anything. But maybe that's too idealistic. Some people seem to find it easier to cut a person out of their life than others do. I found it hard to accept that a person i talked to every day and shared everything with was all of a sudden not there any more. It's like a bereavement in many ways. But all we can do is our best to mend things and if the other person doesn't want to then there's not much more we can do about it.

i was great friends with a girl growing up, we ended up moving in together a few years after we had left school. i wont go into the details but we fell out big time. i was treated really badly by her.
we didnt speak for nearly a year, a mutual friend kind of forced us to talk one night.
although, even now if i think about how i felt at the time i get upset, we have moved on. we are in our thirties now and even though not as close as we were i know we can trust and rely on each other.

i guess what im saying is there is no harm trying, ask to meet for coffee to explain and apologise. if she takes you up on it, great!
if not, then at least you know you tried!
dont rely on a text message though, doesnt show any effort, ask to meet face to face, and be prepared for any anger she has.

friendships can be fixed!