Looking for some critique

Daleno

Hello,

I've recently finished a short story, aprrox 2800 words, which was initially written for my girlfriend just as a romantic gesture. But now that I've read over it I quite like it and have warmed to the character. I'm considering entering it into a competition I read about.

At the same time I don't think it's quite ready, I feel I need to beef it up a bit or something. Because I have the story in my head and I can see it very clearly I can't tell if the words are doing it justice, because I'm going to see what I meant anyway, but a reader might get a bit lost. If that makes sense.

So what I'm looking for is someone who can throw a critical eye over it and give me some advice on what areas I should work on. We can make contact here and I can e-mail you the manuscript.

Thanks for any help
Daleno

pickarooney

Feel free to PM me either so I can look at the story or give you access to the private writing forum so more people can read it but it won't be visible by anyone else or indexed on Google.

IsMiseLisa

May I suggest a website: critiqucircle.com. I've been there since I was about 14 - nearly five years now. It's brilliant.

And, no, they're not paying me to promote them.