Wife Banned Unfairly

Biggins

First of all, If I get banned temp-wise or receive an infraction , I accept it and do not argue publicly in the said sections/threads - nor ever will.
I accept such things with grace where possible.

However as I was banned for two days (and I did not dispute it here or elsewhere - I could see the mod who banned me had a clear point and was justified), during that said ban, my wife and I were talking about the matter for which I was banned for.

She subsequently posted some shared thoughts on the thread topic - which we having talked about, agreed upon.
(The matter was close to her/my heart as my bestman at our wedding was/is gay)
Because she posted on what that she agreed with me and shared the same thoughts, - I'm guessing the mod thought she was ONLY posting because I couldn't.
This was NOT the case - and I feel it was wrong to automatically assume so.
What has happened to being innocent before being proven guilty?

She and I do not wish to further argue over the ban (it was/is only one day) - but I would like to raise the point on behalf of my wife (and I) that sometimes husbands and wifes DO agree on somethings and posting such shared thoughts should NOT be automatically assumed that the other half is doing so JUST to circumvent a ruling.

I find this treatment of my wife VERY unfair and casts a poor a spur on her!
We have the highest of respect for the running of Boards.ie but there is still some small areas that need to be re-addressed such as this area.

I'm just raising an important issue - and to be honest hurt that my wife has been insulted so by this allegation that she was bending rules for me!
She would NOT - nor would I ever ask her to.

The PM she got:

Hi madmammy,

You have been banned from After Hours for the following duration:

1 Day(s)

for the following reason:

Biggins is banned, using another account to post means it's trying to circumvent ban and could mean perm ban for both accounts. Don't try this again.

We are NOT fighting this ban - its not our way.
My wife could have said in the thread "I'm speaking for myself and My husband (Biggins) agrees."
However she said off the top of her head "My husband (Biggins) and I wish to say the following"
...No ones grammar can be perfect or say things/express themselves the right way all the time you know!
...But it appears she got punished now for it to boot! She was speaking on behalf of our gay friends too, in defence of their rights and no more. Very unfair.
She posted over the issue of gays being allowed to be adopt. HERE

Just pointing out that in future, please talk to us before automatically assuming such is the case above - when in fact, its not.
(To be honest I'm very hurt - and very angry right now - to see my wife has being treated this way. She is an honourable and decent woman. A woman that works within the community for charities and other bodies. This allegation casts stains upon her character.)
She has been accused and seemingly found guilty without as much as a trial or being questioned!

To again be honest, I think at the very least, she deserves an apology for the insult to her character.
I as a hurt husband to see his wife treated like this, ask no more and subsequently, even now, continue to post in/start threads in good faith as previously and respectful of boards.ie.
If any of ye husbands/wives was insulted with a totally untrue stain, would ye let the matter go without raising the matter?
I'm annoyed that boards.ie - which I hold to be one of the best forums on the net - has allowed my wife to be hurt like this.
I'm very, very disappointed too in this regard. I had expected better previous examples of good judgements to still be used.

Biggins

Yes, I put a link to it in my previous post.

To mention again, she is NOT disputing the point with your good self "Mod" (for its only a day and not worth annoying you over it).
She (and I here) only wishes to raise a point/point out that sometimes judgements are made too harshly and too quickly without sitting back and further assessing the matter.

I certainly do not want to fall out with you over the matter.
Rest of the time, your more than fair, especially equally to me as with others on boards.ie
Just that in this matter alone, its a matter that needs to be kept a reminder of as such instances might occur again with others (or have already?).

She was however accused and found guilty in the total wrong.
I feel for her as it tainted what I know to be a good woman, in a totally wrong light.
(And the infraction remains on record - in the wrong)

I don't wish/want to annoy anyone any further (if I am), just ask that please a bit more though to into such things.
We'd be very grateful. Thanks.

(I'm replying to a mod who posted, then removed their quoting post when they saw I had already posted a link to the wifes post.)

randylonghorn

Hi Biggins,

sorry for the delay, given that it was one of the few decent weekend days so far this summer I decided to get out in it and get a bit of exercise!

I'm just in the door so have just scanned this as yet, but at initial glance it seems pretty clearcut.

The idea of a ban is that the person banned from a forum is deprived of a voice on that forum for the period of the ban. Any voice, including a voice by proxy.

Biggins wrote: »

My wife could have said in the thread "I'm speaking for myself and My husband (Biggins) agrees."
However she said off the top of her head "My husband (Biggins) and I wish to say the following"

While I agree with you that the second is more direct than the first, I wouldn't find either acceptable tbh. In either case you are gaining a voice by proxy in the forum from which you have been banned.

To my mind this circumvents the spirit of the ban, regardless of whether it breaks the letter of the law.

As far as I can see your wife's account was banned for one day, i.e. to match the remainder of your ban, thus ensuring that both the letter and the spirit of the ban were upheld.

Unless I'm missing something here, this does not seem unreasonable to me.

I will ask the AH mods if any of them wish to add anything, lest in my need for food I have missed anything obvious.

Biggins wrote: »

Just pointing out that in future, please talk to us before automatically assuming such is the case above - when in fact, its not.
(To be honest I'm very hurt - and very angry right now - to see my wife has being treated this way. She is an honourable and decent woman. A woman that works within the community for charities and other bodies. This allegation casts stains upon her character.)
She has been accused and seemingly found guilty without as much as a trial or being questioned!

To again be honest, I think at the very least, she deserves an apology for the insult to her character.
I as a hurt husband to see his wife treated like this, ask no more and subsequently, even now, continue to post in/start threads in good faith as previously and respectful of boards.ie.
If any of ye husbands/wives was insulted with a totally untrue stain, would ye let the matter go without raising the matter?
I'm annoyed that boards.ie - which I hold to be one of the best forums on the net - has allowed my wife to be hurt like this.
I'm very, very disappointed too in this regard. I had expected better previous examples of good judgements to still be used.

In retrospect, would you perhaps feel that there might be an element of over-reaction and hyperbole here?

Biggins

randylonghorn wrote: »

...In retrospect, would you perhaps feel that there might be an element of over-reaction and hyperbole here?

Not really, I felt/feel that she was treated a bit too harshly on this rare occasion.
I can see your point but in retrospect, I hope you can see mine too.
Couples (married or not) do share some feelings on topics and if another half also wishes to join in a thread and mentions something - and also says at some point that that they agree with their another half, they should not be too quickly judged to be in the wrong just for saying so.
As is this singularity case.

Like I said, its only a day banning and we will not argue over a simple day - it was/is a point of principle and something to take into account for the future.
There is genuinely no hard feelings towards the Mod involved.
As such we are letting the matter rest having raised the point just on principle - still with best wishes to all.

Zaph

If your wife wishes to contest her ban she is more than welcome to start a thread here. However this forum is not for fighting battles on other peoples' behalf, no matter what the relationship, so I'm locking this thread.