Very honest/crude question regarding oral sex

ElvisP

Mods, please delete this thread if you see fit but I have been completely honest in the subject line so there can't be any complaints regarding misrepresentation.

As a man/human I love both giving and receiving oral sex. I get a fantastic turn-on from both. Trouble is, my new g/f isn't into the whole 'giving' part. In fairness, she will 'give' but when she does it's like out of a sense of duty rather than a 'love of the sport'. She also only partakes for a limited time, stopping before the 'moment of truth'. I have explained to her how important this is to me and that, her stopping, just drives me insane. It's either 'do or do not do'. She's a really cool chick in so many ways so I don't want this to come between us (no pun intended).

I'm at my wits end here. Am feeling seriously dissatisfied.

What is the question? I don't know any more...

To answer a possible further question, I love deep kissing after oral. Incredible turn-on.

Ickle Magoo

I think you have to realise it's not just about you and what you find a turn on or whether you'd kiss after. Your girlfriend is entitled not to want to give oral, or not like oral - some people don't. You can always try flavoured condoms or talking about it to see what the main issues are but you may just have to accept it doesn't turn her on and she doesn't like it.

Then you have to decide if it's a deal breaker for you. There is no way to coerce or convince someone to like giving oral. You can ask they compromise and ask that they try some things to see if that helps but other than that, not a lot you can do.

Not what you want to hear, sorry.

Miss Fluff

It doesn't have to be a problem if you discuss it a non-accusatory reasonable way....

I'm obviously assuming that you're 'do or do not do' line is totally taking the
p1ss? :rolleyes:

Maybe you need to clear it up with her where you're going to cum when you do ejaculate. If she's a bit prudish she might be happier to bring you to the point of orgasm orally and then have you come on her chest or tummy or fanjita. If she thinks that you're going to come in her mouth without warning she might be freaking out about it so maybe tell her that while you'd love her to bring you to the point of orgasm there's no pressure on her to swallow....

I definitely wouldn't be using your 'do or do not do' chestnut......

Lola92

OP, some women do not like giving oral, some do not like receiving it.

Just like any other intimate act what is a turn on for one person might repulse the next. It could be the taste/texture/smells down there. Not to be rude but maybe it could be a reflection on your personal hygiene, do you always make sure you are washed down there before getting intimate?

My advice is that you speak to your girlfriend about it to try and see things from her point of view. I would leave out stressing what you like/want until she feels comfortable discussing it with you, you don't want her to feel pressured into the act and then resent you for it.

ElvisP

Tbh Ickle (and thanks for the reply), I think it's a little of the double standard that's troubling me. She loves me going south of the border (who doesn't??) but her older sister has a serious 'man who screwed her over' issue which has influenced her. In my book, if you're not willing to give then don't accept a receive (if you'll excuse the poor English).
I think I know where this is going. I just needed some written confirmation.

qwerty13

"stopping before the 'moment of truth'" - I would've thought this wasn't exactly uncommon??

"I love deep kissing after oral. Incredible turn-on." - I would hate this if I'd just been gone down on, really really hate it! I have no idea if that's an odd view, but the idea of the next place their mouth encounters is mine, just no!

ElvisP

Lola92 wrote: »

OP, some women do not like giving oral, some do not like receiving it.

Just like any other intimate act what is a turn on for one person might repulse the next. It could be the taste/texture/smells down there. Not to be rude but maybe it could be a reflection on your personal hygiene, do you always make sure you are washed down there before getting intimate?

My advice is that you speak to your girlfriend about it to try and see things from her point of view. I would leave out stressing what you like/want until she feels comfortable discussing it with you, you don't want her to feel pressured into the act and then resent you for it.

It's defo not taste, texture or hygiene. Am a vegetarian who eats lots of fruit with lots of sugar (and who loves his own taste). Previous g/fs have loved it as much as I have. I have explained all this to her and she will participate but stop before the above mentioned 'mot'. As explained above, she has no problem WHATSOEVER with me pleasuring me in the same way.

ElvisP

qwerty13 wrote: »

"stopping before the 'moment of truth'" - I would've thought this wasn't exactly uncommon??

"I love deep kissing after oral. Incredible turn-on." - I would hate this if I'd just been gone down on, really really hate it! I have no idea if that's an odd view, but the idea of the next place their mouth encounters is mine, just no!

Why would you hate it? Do you reciprocate?

qwerty13

I'd hate if someone had gone down on me, and immediately moved to deep kissing - the idea of tasting, well, myself from them just really is not for me!

ElvisP

You guys sound uptight. It's an incredible experience. Very horny. You seem to have a lot in common with my g/f. You're missing out on a lot. A Spanish guy told me this years ago but I didn't believe him but he told me Irish girls were 'odd' when it comes to sex. I can't argue.

ElvisP

qwerty13 wrote: »

I'd hate if someone had gone down on me, and immediately moved to deep kissing - the idea of tasting, well, myself from them just really is not for me!

Do you hate your own taste?

Esoteric_

ElvisP wrote: »

You guys sound uptight. It's an incredible experience. Very horny. You seem to have a lot in common with my g/f. You're missing out on a lot. A Spanish guy told me this years ago but I didn't believe him but he told me Irish girls were 'odd' when it comes to sex. I can't argue.

There's no need to insult people here by calling them uptight just because they have different preferences to you. I personally love going down on my boyfriend and love when he kisses me after oral, but it's not something that a lot of people like and you need to accept that.

If your girlfriend is "uptight" like you say, why are you with her?

qwerty13

ElvisP wrote: »

You guys sound uptight. It's an incredible experience. Very horny. You seem to have a lot in common with my g/f. You're missing out on a lot. A Spanish guy told me this years ago but I didn't believe him but he told me Irish girls were 'odd' when it comes to sex. I can't argue.

No - you find it an incredible experience; I happen not to. Neither of us is right or wrong, we just have different preferences, as does, it would seem, your girlfriend. Maybe you just aren't sexually compatible.

Bottle_of_Smoke

IME its unlikely to change. Girls who don't like giving oral don't get used to it. Still though - I think a decent blowjob is worth sweet FA compared to a girl you love

I think you'd be insane to amend the relationship in any way over this if you actually like her

karaokeman

OP some people like giving oral some people don't. All this nonsense seriously has to stop, everyone tells you its only girls that hate oral. Its not I know fellas who don't like it too. Everyone is different and everyone has their own sexual preferences.

And please stop being rude to all of us saying were "uptight" just due to differing opinions.

If your g/f doesn't give you oral, it does not mean she doesn't love you its just not her cup of tea.

Maybe she feels under pressure because you seem so adamant about having oral.

I would recommend you speak with her and just say something along the lines of "I'm sorry for always hassling you, look if you don't want oral just tell me and I will stop".

Also perhaps if you give her time and space and have sex with her whatever way both of you can agree on, maybe she will feel more relaxed and give oral another time.

Sometimes if girls have too much on their shoulders, once they are given time to relieve themselves they may do it again (give oral). She wouldn't necessarily have to like it but sometimes girls give it just to experiment or otherwise.

Don't rush things, you said you only got with your g/f so give her some time and allow yourselves to get to know each other better.

Good luck.

Ickle Magoo

ElvisP wrote: »

You guys sound uptight. It's an incredible experience. Very horny. You seem to have a lot in common with my g/f. You're missing out on a lot. A Spanish guy told me this years ago but I didn't believe him but he told me Irish girls were 'odd' when it comes to sex. I can't argue.

As you have little interest in actually hearing advice that may help YOUR situation and would prefer to insult other posters, make assumptions about them and try to justify your expectations, I'm closing the thread.

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