MORTO! Memories

dadah

I remember when I was very young at primary school and we were just learning about 'willy's and fanny's'. not from the teachers, it wasn't being 'taught' yet, but from the other kids who heard vicious rumours that 'girls had a fanny' followed by 'what's a fanny?' to be scorned with 'Ah! Now YOU'VE got a fanny! HA HA!' etc.

Anyhow in our house we never talked about willy's, and only about fanny's if there were no loo rolls; and we got concerned about newspaper making it 'all black down there'. In other words, we never willingly discussed anything like that! So you can imagine, as school i was none the wiser and completely shocked at hearing 'willy' at all.

To make it more confusing, the 'proper' words came to light: 'penis' and vagina' and no-one could pronounce them right. I never saw them written down, so when I heard 'penis' ('peenus') I didn't mistake it for ''pen is' like, 'my pen is not working'. Instead I went home and asked 'what is peenus?'

My mother turned her head away (instant reluctance that the word existed) and mumbled; 'where have you been hearing this?!' and I replied: 'at school. what's a peenus mammy?'

she told me: 'it's where boys pee from'.

me: 'where do they pee from?'

silence.

'mammy! WHERE do boys pee from?!'

she pointed silently to her nose, as if to say: 'it's a secret.'

I jumped up in excitement and yelled: 'Boys pee from their nose! It's a pee-nose!'