Getting harder and harder to remain positive

Nuther Name

Im used to being unemployed.
My line of work over the last few years have been 6 months intense, 14-16 hour days, then 6 months with nothing, which sounds amazing, and it is for the first week. Then you catch up on sleep, your body slowly recovers and you do things, different courses, meet up with friends etc etc. Youre always fairly sure the job will be back again in 6 months, so you spend your hard earned dosh a bit, but not too much...safe in the "will be fine" knowledge that it will be ok.

This is how my life has been for a few years and its been fine, but I really dont like my job. That job. So my new plan this year was go branch into another area within the industry which was all going to be great. I got offered a great learning opportunity which I would be pretty good at, it payed better blah blah blah and now, the usual rumours about the six month job say that yep...its not happening. Today I expect the offical word on its demise.

I try hard to keep positive...not busy...but "distracted". I focus on fitness in a big way when Im unemployed and this is fantastic.

Im rambling and could go on, sorry but basically, what I'd hoped and thought would be a great sort of 3 year plan with a view of actually getting me out of the industry im in altogether and into a different career has failed. I just cant see the light right now. I'm sort of under cover here, registered a different name so feels like my other self on boards! But basically I am just completely lost, fed up, and completely hopeless hopeless hopeless of my future, and ability to actually earn a decent wage and live a happy life. Im 33, and as far as I am concerned I have absolutely NO SKILLS that make me shine out from any other 18 year old willing to work for 7 quid an hour. This is a rediculous statement which I know means, yeah, lack of confidence etc, but its also true, it actually is true.

So today when I get the offical word, I'll have to move out of my dingy mezzanine flat and back into student style, single room shared house to reduce my rent...give up training in my main gym (costly but I love love love it), and see if theres any 'normal' jobs left for people like me....who are on crutches may I add, for 6 weeks and forsee another 3 anyway! I dont expect anyone to read this, way too long. Anyway, just thought I'd write stuff down/vent/let it all out etc and actually use the word hopeless, cause that is my life right now.

Absolutly unmotivated, pointless, existing for the sake of nothing, just being here, being alive and finding nothing but obsticles, worries and anxietys to keep me company.

Right...off to the gym, back to my other self, fake smile on, chin up, "ah yeah sure it will alllllll beeeee grrraaaaaaaannnnndddd" answer when people ask.

airyChinesekid

Nuther Name wrote: »

Im used to being unemployed.

Im 33, and as far as I am concerned I have absolutely NO SKILLS that make me shine out from any other 18 year old willing to work for 7 quid an hour

well if it makes you feel any better i was out of work for a good ...2 years give or take a few months. i know the feeling of realising that your qualifications .....dont actually DO anything. I went back to college before everything went tits up. I studied business for 2 years and got a cert, then i decided to do the 3rd year but for various reasons i managed to not get the degree. then came out and realised all i really had was an additional piece of paper. then i woke up one day and was 30 on top of it all. and as you say i couldnt really outshine an 18yo. Well as youve probably heard for the last 3 years our best of the best (aka) our greediest of the greediest leaders and bankers managed to rightly fuk it all up. so dont blame yourself entirely, personally i managed to get some kind of job ....although not really a PROPER job in my books. if youre going back to study consider a specialized skill, not something general. be able at the end to say yes i can wire your network or yes i can balance your books or yes i can work in your lab.
your troubles are not unique, about 400,000 out of work and now sarckozy telling us what to do. find something you like. (or fly off this craggy island like 1000's of others.)

Nuther Name

airyChinesekid wrote: »

well if it makes you feel any better i was out of work for a good ...2 years give or take a few months. i know the feeling of realising that your qualifications .....dont actually DO anything. I went back to college before everything went tits up. I studied business for 2 years and got a cert, then i decided to do the 3rd year but for various reasons i managed to not get the degree. then came out and realised all i really had was an additional piece of paper. then i woke up one day and was 30 on top of it all. and as you say i couldnt really outshine an 18yo. Well as youve probably heard for the last 3 years our best of the best (aka) our greediest of the greediest leaders and bankers managed to rightly fuk it all up. so dont blame yourself entirely, personally i managed to get some kind of job ....although not really a PROPER job in my books. if youre going back to study consider a specialized skill, not something general. be able at the end to say yes i can wire your network or yes i can balance your books or yes i can work in your lab.
your troubles are not unique, about 400,000 out of work and now sarckozy telling us what to do. find something you like. (or fly off this craggy island like 1000's of others.)

Hey, thanks for those words. Fair play for reading my post! I cant believe you were unemployed for 2 years. Horrendous. And I know what you mean by "proper job". They are just non existant at this stage.

The problem with going back to study is that I guess I'm so peeeeeed off with spending 6 years in college already...and to make it worse, it was art college!!! Complete waste of time at this stage. Like you said, it really is just a piece of paper.

Anyway. That job I was hoping for has officially been cancelled, but now theres potentially another one starting early August so its just a matter of holding out. But again, the uncertanty of it all is getting hard to manage,...Any other year, Id have been working a month ago so financially its getting a little "trying" shall we say.

Thanks again for the reply. I hope after 2 years of queueing in the dole office you've gotten work in something you are happy with.

NN

Ainekav

Im doing stuff that I love now that happens to be in art aswell, but for no money worth talking about. So I'm going to have to pound the pavements now this week to find something to pay my rent and my bills etc. I feel lucky though that I enjoy the art thing and am making some headway in it. And Im just finished 5 years of study aswell, which I think was invaluable, particularly the postgrad. the piece of paper might mean nothing in these times but the experience someone who went to college has will stand to them in the real world.. at least. I've been broke for more or less the last 5 years and its often ****ty but you just learn to live with it don't ya.

What are you passionate about apart from fitness?

Ainekav

Ps forget about the three year plan - life has no use for plans!!

Any way you could emigrate?

You should talk to ur friends/family about how youre feeling - this putting up a front thing isnt helping you - its just isolating you from those you are closest to. a problem shared is a problem halved etc and you shouldnt feel like you have to constantly put on a brave face.

People focus a lot on age and what they should have achieved by this age etc. which to me is kindof a load of rubbish. plenty of people only reach their full potential in later life..

anyway plenty of people in the same boat so you're not alone.
stay positive and keep the faith that things can only get better. as take that said.