Calamity of errors

jiltloop

I just had a calamity of errors.
I'vee had a few drinks (this is where alot of calamity of errors start) and got in the front door (still living with parents so must be quiet). Took about 5mins of scrapping the key of the door to get in. Then coming up the stairs with my very important glass of water I knocked a picture off the wall with my elbow and subsequently spilt water on the stairs. Then needed to go for a slash which when doing it in stealth mode normally requires sitting so I can do it in the dark without switching lights on. I lifted both seats by accident and ended up sitting on the pissy ceramic rim.Then once correcting my mistake and putting the seat down I finished my business and upon standing up my trousers caught the rim of the seat which flung it up and then down again with a very loud clatter waking up everyone in the house!
So does anyone else have any recollections of calamities of errors where it just ain't gonna go right?

Kojak

I thought this was a Fianna Fáil recruitment drive.....

Degag

jiltloop wrote: »

I just had a calamity of errors.
I'vee had a few drinks (this is where alot of calamity of errors start) and got in the front door (still living with parents so must be quiet). Took about 5mins of scrapping the key of the door to get in. Then coming up the stairs with my very important glass of water I knocked a picture off the wall with my elbow and subsequently spilt water on the stairs. Then needed to go for a slash which when doing it in stealth mode normally requires sitting so I can do it in the dark without switching lights on. I lifted both seats by accident and ended up sitting on the pissy ceramic rim.Then once correcting my mistake and putting the seat down I finished my business and upon standing up my trousers caught the rim of the seat which flung it up and then down again with a very loud clatter waking up everyone in the house!
So does anyone else have any recollections of calamities of errors where it just ain't gonna go right?

Pffft, amatuer. Everyone knows you take a piss/puke outside if in that situation.... then you can blame it on the dog.

jiltloop

Degag wrote: »

Pffft, amatuer. Everyone knows you take a piss/puke outside if in that situation.... then you can blame it on the dog.

You can't be doing that on a thursday night cos that implies you are an alcoholic. Abolutions alfresco is only for the weekend.

Ditch

jiltloop wrote: »

Upon standing up my trousers caught the rim of the seat which flung it up and then down again with a very loud clatter waking up everyone in the house!

Yep. That's the one! What man hasn't been there?

The Radiator

my cat once caused me to fall down the stairs at 3am when i was getin a drink then i fell intoo the lamp and brok it them tripped on the mat and then fell through the window

jiltloop

Jesus thats a good name for a song "abolutions alfresco".

jiltloop

The Radiator wrote: »

my cat once caused me to fall down the stairs at 3am when i was getin a drink then i fell intoo the lamp and brok it them tripped on the mat and then fell through the window

Gold medal! In the pisshead olypmics.

General General

What? Don't you have a funnel & hose in your room for p!ssing out the window?

ringadingding

Did the cat wax the top stair or something ;-)

Ave Sodalis

Reminds me of the poem we learn in primary school:

I woke up this morning and meant to be good
But things didn't happen the way that they should
I lost my toothbrush
I slammed the door
I dropped an egg on the kitchen floor
I spilled some sugar and after that
I tried to hurry
But tripped over the cat...

Karona

Came in drunk one night when I was 16 (and not meant to be drinking) my brother was still awake watching tv, so i tried not to slam doors or bump into chairs, that would just make him suspicious. But of course me being drunk bumped into every chair and slammed every door. Even telling the chairs and the doors to be quiet at one stage.

I think he thought I had gone crazy.

Chuck Stone

It's a strange phenomemen that. The more quiet you try to be when you're drunk the more you turn into a noisey one-man-band Clown

Degag

jiltloop wrote: »

You can't be doing that on a thursday night cos that implies you are an alcoholic. Abolutions alfresco is only for the weekend.

You seem to be in denial.... i think there are anonymous courses for that....

policarp

jiltloop wrote: »

Took about 5mins of scrapping the key of the door to get in.

Someone stole the keyhole. Eh?

Tubsandtiles

Op it took you five minutes to open your front door but you still had ability to remember everything that happened and write it all down without spelling mistakes ?

ardinn

So many memories (that had to be recalled to me!)

df1985

I pissed in the kitchen bin before, obviously didnt remember the next morning.......the bang of piss when I opened it soon reminded me.

Einhard

You sat down for a piss? And you call yourself a man?! For shame, for shame...