Infidelity

Gannicus

One of my best friends is suspicious that her partner is cheating on her and asked me if I knew anything. I don't she knows I would tell her if I did.

Over the last while he's lost all interest in intimacy and been going to parties and not coming home. The parties are in a mutual friends house I have been to a couple and there are quite a few single ladies there but I have never been there when my mates partner is there.

Would I be wrong to look into it or should I just let it go until it all comes out. I know I would tell her for definite if I knew as I'd want her to do the same.

baby and crumble

Personally I'd let it go, if you knew something fine, but don't go LOOKING. Thats not fair on you, really. I'd be the same as you, I'd tell my friend if I knew something was going on, but for her to ask you to look into it is a bit weird. If she's that suspicious she should be looking into it...

Gannicus

zoegh wrote: »

Personally I'd let it go, if you knew something fine, but don't go LOOKING. Thats not fair on you, really. I'd be the same as you, I'd tell my friend if I knew something was going on, but for her to ask you to look into it is a bit weird. If she's that suspicious she should be looking into it...

Apologies I should clarify.
She never asked me to look into it. I'm just wondering should I do it of my own accord and concern for her on the issue.

banie01

Big Steve wrote: »

Apologies I should clarify.
She never asked me to look into it. I'm just wondering should I do it of my own accord and concern for her on the issue.

Nope! You shouldn't.
You looking into someone(anyone) else's relationship in the hope of finding proof of infidelity is a bad idea.
Its their relationship, its their issue and if she wants to find proof of cheating leave her do it, rather than getting involved in something toxic that will blow up!

By all means be a friend to her, support her and if by chance you happen to come across him cheating then ask yourself if you want to tell her.....
But do NOT go looking for him being unfaithful!
I can understand his partner doing it, but for her friend to actively seek out him engaging in that in behaviour is more than a little creepy IMO.
As if you want to be the one to tell her!

Gannicus

The thing is she knows that none of the lads would tell her bar me and one of our other mates. the rest of them all play poker and go to parties together even though the have known her for nearly ten years and him only 2.

I know she'd never ask me to look into it but at the same time I don't want her getting screwed over either.

Vicxas

Look, id stay WELL away because all the heat will come back on you if it goes south.

Beruthiel

Big Steve wrote: »

Would I be wrong to look into it or should I just let it go until it all comes out.

Keep out of it, it won't end well for you if you get involved.
She shouldn't be trying to get you involved anyway.
If she is having a problem with her partner, then it's him she should be talking to, not you.
In my opinion, once you get to this stage in a relationship, it's pretty much over.
What's the point sharing your life with someone you don't trust?

ManOfMystery

It's good to look out for your friends, but there's a line you shouldn't cross and it's usually the one with the big 'relationship' sign hanging above it. What goes on in their relationship is strictly between the 2 of them and really none of your business. The truth always comes out, and if he is up to something I'm sure she'll find out sooner or later - all you can do is be there for her then if she needs you.