stopped paying child maintenance

marykenn

Hello everyone, I had a child 1 year ago with a guy I had been with for about 6 months. As soon as he knew that I had fallen pregnant - he dissapeared. He moved address,changed phone number and left his job. I have no idea where he is now. His friends havent been able to help me locate him (or they dont want to). I am struggling to make ends meet as a single mum and could do with some financial assistance from him. I fear the only way forward at this stage is a maintenance order through the courts. But from what i understand - if i dont have an address from him, nothing can be done. Surely its possible for social services to track him via hiss PPS number? Any thoughts on what I can do? Thanks

Mary

username123

Hi OP - Im just going to randomly list off the ways I can think of finding someone here and see if anything rings a bell with you.

His friends - they are not going to help you, but would they help a stranger who showed up looking for him because he had 'won a competition' - perhaps they would pass details in this situation?

Do you know where his parents live or have a family home phone number where you could contact them?

His last job - could you ring and pretend to be trying to track him down for some nice reason and see do they know his new place of work?

His last known address - did he leave forwarding details for his new address.

Where is he from in the country - if it was a small village it could be worth asking round does anyone know where he is.

Facebook, myspace, bebo etc... social networking sites - any chance of finding him on any of those?

Googling his name - sometimes a name can show up on a company website if the person is a contact for something specific.

What do you know about him in terms of sports he likes, clubs he was a member of, musicians he could follow - is there anything that could help you track him down like a gym he frequents or a sport he plays?

Last option - although expensive - a private detective.

trustno1

Hi OP, Having been there myself (and my ex went back to England - so it was much harder to track him) my advice would be to try and get him via the family route - do you know where his mam lives? or how to get in touch with her?, if you can, ring her and just chat to her in general about the child - do not under any circumstances mention child support. When you have got her on your side (most mam's are sympathetic) tell her you would love his address as you would like to send him a few photos of the baby in the hopes that he may come around in terms of contact etc.. just lie your ar*se off to try and get your hands on his address. Failing that as username123 said - get a private detective.. if any of his friends get a whiff that you are after him for money you won't get anywhere with them.. I hate to say it, but I got maintenance awarded to me over 7 years ago and I still haven't got one penny.. so I hope you get on better!.. best of luck!

Wile E. Coyote

Is it really worth tracking him down op? I'm not saying that he shouldn't contribute but when he clearly doesn't want anything to do with you or the child is it worth the time and hassle of trying to track him down when there's no guarantee that he will pay up? Do you really want someone like that back in your life?

Moonbeam

You can apply for lone parents or single parents tax credit ,if you don't get either now.

bulmersgal

If you are on lone parents they will take some off you for maintenance received.

If your working have you looked into fis, one parent tax credit.

The courts will not help unless you have a address, even if you have a address he will received a register letter and he could pretend that he wasn't your ex and then it would be sent back to the courts.

Also if you do track him down, are you ready for him applying for guardianship and access? If he asks for guardianship the courts nearly always give it to men, this means if you want to move or go on holiday you have to basically tell him and get his go ahead. If he says no you have to go back to the courts to get there permission. I had to do this so my daughter could come on holiday with me, as my ex wouldn't sign her passport forms.

gym_mom

Any idea of his car reg no ? If so you can get his registered address from motor tax office.

Googling his name as one poster suggested might turn up something and keep an eye on facebook, befriend anyone that you know he knows..

Possibly if you had his ppsn no. but i can't see how you would have that.

I know people who had this happen, he dissappeared for a while then turned up like a bad penny, we got his car reg no and he's now paying maintenance every week.

Also heed the advice of the poster above... Theres a lot to be said for peace of mind and not having this person in your life if you dont want him