Pay Rise

Tauriel

The Day The Penis Asked for a Raise

I, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons;

I do physical labour,
I work at great depths,
I don't get weekends or public holidays off,
I work in a damp environment,
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation,
I work in high temperatures,
My work exposes me to contagious diseases,
Sincerely,
P.Niss

Response;

Dear P.Niss
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, we reject your request for the following reasons;

You don't work 8 hours straight,
You fall asleep after brief work periods,
You don't take initiative,
You need to be pressured and stimulated into starting work,
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift,
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
Such as wearing protective clothing,
You are unable to work double shifts,
And as if that wasn't all,
You constantly enter the workplace carrying two suspicious bags!
Yours Sincerely,
V.G