I'm out

L.Jenkins

It finally happened. I wrote a letter for my parents who read it this morning and I'm still in work. Not the most ideal situation and I'm alittle worried about heading home today.

Sarah Bear

Congratulations. What a weight off your shoulders! im sure your parents will be fine.. and probably already know!! Best of luck

dr.bollocko

Fair play. Hope it works out for you.

deirdre_dub

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

It finally happened. I wrote a letter for my parents who read it this morning and I'm still in work. Not the most ideal situation and I'm alittle worried about heading home today.

Well done.

Remember that their initial reaction isn't necessarily going to be their "final answer". Their first reactions can be coming from places of confusion, shock, fear for your future, and ignorance as to what transgenderism is.

Good luck.

L.Jenkins

Thanks everyone. I'm just afraid of the face to face chat thats going to take place tonight.

Marcus_Crassus

I wish you the best!

rainbow kirby

Hopefully everything goes well for you.

In the meantime - *hugs*.

baby and crumble

The worst of it is over, the waiting and trying to find the 'best time'. Whatever happens, you know who you are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Best of luck!

Links234

Hey, I hope everything goes well for you. *hug*

Meesared

*hugs* Thats a huge step! well done

Beruthiel

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I'm just afraid of the face to face chat thats going to take place tonight.

Well you've bitten the bullet. Cat's out of the bag. No going back.
Fingers and other appendages crossed for ya!

L.Jenkins

Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm hopeful that it goes ok and now I have to prepare for the worst, should it come to that. Thanks again.

Kanoe

hope all goes well.

G.K.

Good luck!

T Corolla

Good Luck its gets better from here now.

Aishae

well done on that! and best of luck for a smooth evening on it.

Asry

That's deadly! I'm so glad it happened that you got to do it yourself rather than some family member doing it for you. Perhaps a letter was the best way - it'll spare you their immediate reactions, which out of shock and confusion might not have been pretty (if my family's anything to go by). So by the time you get home tonight, they'll have calmed down and have had time to google what the hell you're on about! :):)

apkbarry

I hope it goes well for you.

Please keep us updated!!
x

Lexii307

Congratulations, its finally done now My friend did that when he was leaving his house one morning. He gave it to his mom and told her not to open it until he was gone. When he came home she gave him a big hug and told him that it was alright and it didn't change him as a person. I hope that your parents are the same

df1985

good on ye man, you'll be fine.

L.Jenkins

I spoke with the parents at dinner time. My dad is the cool one about it and now my mum is giving me the silent treatment due to shock. I hope she comes around like my dad who's fierce understanding.

Links234

oh wow, at least you've got one on your side.

I hope your mother comes round, but I'm so happy for you hon! give yourself a big pat on the back for being so brave.

*hugs*

Meesared

Links234 wrote: »

oh wow, at least you've got one on your side.

I hope your mother comes round, but I'm so happy for you hon! give yourself a big pat on the back for being so brave.

*hugs*

+1

Im dreading telling mine >_>

L.Jenkins

Meesared wrote: »

+1

Im dreading telling mine >_>

As did i, but its done now and I'm relieved. I'm just hopeful about my mum.

df1985

Fair play to your Dad, and youre Mam will come round of course once it settles in.

Meesared

Well im glad it went well!

*hugs*

PJelly

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I spoke with the parents at dinner time. My dad is the cool one about it and now my mum is giving me the silent treatment due to shock. I hope she comes around like my dad who's fierce understanding.

You'll be surprised how she changes.
Mine stopped talking to me. Got sick a few times (no lie). Started... well almost teasing me I suppose. Saying stuff like "Oh do you like her?" if a girl walks past, and when I'd say "We talked about this..." I'd always get "We didn't talk about this. You didn't say anything. It's not normal".
Yeahhh it was a bit of a tough time.
But now she's great! Space of a week she just changed completely. Just wait and see

wonderfulname

I'm glad you got such a good reaction from your dad, your mums doesn't sound too bad either, I guess we'll see what happens.

BanzaiBk

Hey congrats. Best of thoughts for you right now.

Platinum2010

Meesared wrote: »

Im dreading telling mine >_>

+1

L.Jenkins

Once again guys thanks for all the support. My mum has now, interestingly enough moved quickly through the stages of Denial and Depression, straight to anger. I don't acceptance coming anytime soon though, as she's pointing the finger of blame in all directions and refusing to discuss it with anyone, a point blank refusal if you would.

On the other hand, I feel relieved and can see it getting much better for myself from here on out, as my brother and his wifes attitude towards me have completely changed.

wonderfulname

You can't expect her to flip and be supportive straight away, speaking of support is there any resources that might help her?

L.Jenkins

I don't expect her to, but she's telling me she can't live with the shame of it. She's great at using guilt as a weapon.

deirdre_dub

So your Dad is cool - he should be able to help your Mum with her feelings about it.

Well done! Coming out to your parents is damn scary!

(((hugs)))

L.Jenkins

Thanks Deirdra. Thinking back, I should have done this sooner.

Aard

Give your mum time to "come out" too. Difficult though it will no doubt be, try to hold your tongue (even though you shouldn't have to) -- if she's the guilting type, she may use anything as ammo.


(Also, so Irish, but making her a cup of tea might be a nice gesture.)

LGiamani

Do'nt forget to have a good weekend after all its being a big step to take and you are over it now

Fozzydog3

No disrespect OP but it seems your mam has nothing better to do and deep down she's actually loving the drama/attention don't take it as gospel though just a possibility

Beruthiel

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I don't expect her to, but she's telling me she can't live with the shame of it. She's great at using guilt as a weapon.

Use it right back at her then. Right now, she hasn't gotten past thinking of herself.
Point out to her that she has just told one of her children that they are shameful and something to hide from others.
Ask her how she thinks it makes you feel to hear that from your own mother who is supposed to love you unconditionally.
It might be enough to at least stop her in her tracks and think about what she is saying.

diddlybit

Delighted for you ItsThatManAgian, that was so was brave of you. *high five* I hope your mam come around, these things can take time.

G.K.

Congratulations about your father being supportive and good luck with the siituation with your mother!

boxie

Well done on taking such a brave step, Hope things work out for you with your mum.

L.Jenkins

Since I came out, I wish I could have jumped straight back in again. Never in my life have I had a bust up with my mum before tonight. It's was ****ed up beyond all believe. Things have settled down now again and I even avoided coming home after work tonight, because I knew I had it coming.

It's all good though and I think she knows she scarred the living fúck out of me and now seems supportive even stating it, but I'll give it a few days before I jump for joy over it, should it turn out to be true.

To anyone else reading this thread who still isn't out. Please don't allow this to put a burden on you. Despite what may sound like a horror directly out of a Steven King novel, trust me I feel so much better. I can almost see that light at the end of the tunnel or it could be a train, either way, it's a sense of freedom and wellbeing I never thought would come.

wonderfulname

*hugs* sorry this is getting so tough on you.

Again, I have to ask if someone might be able to recommend some form of support for your mum? Would she be into web forums or something? It is a lot for her to deal with, and I do feel for her almost as much as I do you.

L.Jenkins

wonderfulname wrote: »

*hugs* sorry this is getting so tough on you.

Again, I have to ask if someone might be able to recommend some form of support for your mum? Would she be into web forums or something? It is a lot for her to deal with, and I do feel for her almost as much as I do you.

I have a number for a Counsellor, who's daughter is transgender. My mum has point blank refused to even talk to family at the moment. All I can do is have patience and make any suggestions.

wonderfulname

Fair enough, it is a coming out process for her too, do remember that if she says or does anything to hurt, at the end of the day you're her child and she loves you.

seanybiker

Hey I don't normally post in here.
When I was 20 my twin came out. He told me in the kitchen and when he said it to me I got angry and put my fist through the kitchen wall. Yes I know it sounds bad but the only reason I done it was that I got so scared he was going to get beating up because of the whole gay thing.
I was so happy that he was happy but scared for him.
In the end nothing happened him and to this day we get a laugh out of my over reaction.
My father is old so he had the stigma kinda thing old religious people get at the start. Since then my father has been out drinking and dancing etc with my twin and his gay friends.
Basically what I'm trying to say is. Give your mother time and she will be grand. Congrats for coming out. Onwards and upwards bud.

L.Jenkins

My mum came into my last night for a chat and a hug. She told me she'd support me and see how things go during the appointment in August. It's a start and all gone so quickly over the last couple. So I'm hopeful and for everyone else that's having it rough at the moment.

Thanks guys again, you've all been great

Platinum2010

^^^^^ soo happy things have worked out for you

Coeurdepirate

That's brilliant news ITMA, I'm happy for you!