Being there for your friends

snooleen

Sometimes it's such a chore that I don't even want friends anymore.

Ugh.

I'm not the kind of person who offloads all of my drama onto the shoulders of the people surrounding me, so I feel like I don't even get anything in return for my good-friendishness. But I don't want anything in return. I just wanna have fun.

MitchKoobski

snooleen wrote: »

Sometimes it's such a chore that I don't even want friends anymore.

Ugh.

I'm not the kind of person who offloads all of my drama onto the shoulders of the people surrounding me, so I feel like I don't even get anything in return for my good-friendishness. But I don't want anything in return. I just wanna have fun.

ಠ_ಠ

sensibleken

I wasnt being dramatic! those really were poisonous!!!

Ave Sodalis

Um... what do you think the point in friends is?

snooleen

sup_dude wrote: »

Um... what do you think the point in friends is?

A friend is someone I get along well with, who I love and can have a decent conversation with. Yes I understand people have problems and when my friends have problems I always always am there for them. It just seems that on closer examination with certain friends, it's all problems and zeroooo conversations about anything else. It's draining the life and soul out of me.

kfallon

I don't offload anything on anybody either, I tend to keep it all to myself and sort it out that way.

However I have a couple of friends who do like to talk about things, I don't mind listening and giving advice as long as it's not every day that they need to 'talk'. If everything starts becoming a drama then I tell them so.

snooleen

MitchKoobski wrote: »

ಠ_ಠ

Oops :rolleyes:

I should have put forward a question; do people ever feel like this? I don't begrudge being there for my friends but there's never any frikkin down time from all of these problems.

snooleen

kfallon wrote: »

I don't offload anything on anybody either, I tend to keep it all to myself and sort it out that way.

However I have a couple of friends who do like to talk about things, I don't mind listening and giving advice as long as it's not every day that they need to 'talk'. If everything starts becoming a drama then I tell them so.

Yeah, I need to tell them so.

Abi

kfallon wrote: »

I don't offload anything on anybody either, I tend to keep it all to myself and sort it out that way.

However I have a couple of friends who do like to talk about things, I don't mind listening and giving advice as long as it's not every day that they need to 'talk'. If everything starts becoming a drama then I tell them so.

I'm the exact same. I tend to keep things to myself unless asked about something. Even at that, if something is stressing me out, I don't nessesarily want to go giving a blow-by-blow account of it either. I'd much rather focus a conversation on happier things, and having a laugh.


I don't mind hearing a friend out if they need to talk about something, or my help. I'll give advice and help in any way I can, but I'd expect them to deal with their problems rather than do nothing and relentlessly drone on about them. I don't want to be around people like that.

kfallon

snooleen wrote: »

Yeah, I need to tell them so.

You do! But only tell them when it's a trivial drama!

--LOS--

I'm not the kind of person who vents like that either and it took a while to get rid of people who did, it is so draining to have to put up with that if you've stuff going on yourself.

snooleen

kfallon wrote: »

You do! But only tell them when it's a trivial drama!

Yup, I understand, that's what I mean. Obviously there are times when people are going through a lot of things that can be hard to deal with and need to just vent to somebody-I get that and I'm there to support them 100%. The problem is the superficial stuff that just wearies me to talk about. I feel like I need to be selfish, and as the above poster said, surround myself with people who make me happy. When I hang out with friends I want to enjoy myself and distract myself for a little while from anything I might be going through.