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Why am I finding it so difficult?

  • 18-06-2011 10:27PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'll try and keep this brief. My ex and I broke up about a month ago. We both still have feelings for each other, but she decided she didn't want it anymore. That's fine - it was only a few months relationship. We fell pretty hard for each other during this time. The only thing is that I'm still struggling with it, though I can't fathom why because it doesn't make sense - it was only a few months relationship. We still talk quite regularly, though sometimes that makes me struggle a bit more. Should I cut all contact off completely? I don't really want to hurt her though.

    Why am I finding this difficult at all? I really shouldn't.W


Comments

  • #2
    johnr1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 965 ✭✭✭johnr1


    I got the same dose last year, -and again this year this time with a twist. Not nice, and I was like you last year, couldn't understand why i felt so bad over a short relationship. I think in my case last year, I really really wanted it to work, because I felt she fitted with me so well, and it was very intense while it lasted.
    I was always the one who broke off relationships, ruthlessly cutting it if I got bored or it wasn't working, and I was shocked at how badly I took it the other way round. I might add that I'm mid to late 30s
    Around the one month mark was a particularly rough time, but I improved noticably after that.
    Time will help buddy, I guarantee it.


  • #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Why am I finding it so difficult? wrote: »
    The only thing is that I'm still struggling with it, though I can't fathom why because it doesn't make sense - it was only a few months relationship.

    The length of the relationship doesn't matter all that much, it's how you felt while in it and clearly you fell for her big time. Hence you're going through a grieving process now.
    We still talk quite regularly, though sometimes that makes me struggle a bit more. Should I cut all contact off completely?

    Yes, you should. You will move on much quicker. Staying in contact is just mental torture.
    I don't really want to hurt her though.

    Ppff.
    Who do you care for more, yourself or her?
    Look after No. 1 buddy.
    She'll get over it pretty quickly and move on.


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