6 Month Long Crush - Please Help.

LegacyUser

Ok, so basically i've been with my girlfriend for almost four years, and thing have been mostly good. we have had our ups and down but nothing major.

Where I work there are a lot of staff with lots of new people joining. Its a pretty big place. Last summer a new girl joined. The same age as me, pretty and very nice, you know the type, always a smile ect...

I never really got to know her because we work in different departments but she always caught my eye when ever I seen her because I though she was cute. She's not the typical 'hot girl, more like the kind you'd be proud to bring home to the mammy.

Anyway, still didn't even know her name for a few months, and never though about her outside. around october she started saying hello to me and always giving me a smile. Still had never talked to her apart from that.

At our Christmas party I finally talked to her. I didn't approach her or anything we just ended up in the same group. Got chatting and that was it. Later on in the night I was at the bar, I can't remember how it happened but she came over to me and put her hand kinds of on my stomach while I was ordering. we got talking and held that position. I didn't kiss her or anything but got a bit of a fright a few minutes later because I realized she was probably trying to instigate something. Had I been single I would have been up for a kiss but I love my girlfriend. I got a bit worried I would do something I would regret so I left and walked home for two hours. This was a fairly big deal to me because Ive never kissed anyone other than my current gf, or done the whole nightclub thing. (im 20)

Anyway, since then we've always been chatting in work when we'd get the chance. Just small thing, but I always get tongue tied, I never have anything to say to her. I always get nervous.

Recently Ive found myself trying to cross her path, ie just walk through her dept so i'd get to have a chat. We work together 2/3 times a week as we're both in college.

She's going on holidays for 2 weeks on tuesday which mean I wont see he for around 3-4 weeks. When she told me this today I almost died.

Anyway do you guys have any advice as to what to do? I feel horrible having feeling for two people at once, i'm sure it happens to a lot of people but its just crap. Initially I though it was just a stupid crush and I was just attracted to her but the more I get to know her the more I like her.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

James400

6monthsandnocure wrote: »

At our Christmas party I finally talked to her. I didn't approach her or anything we just ended up in the same group. Got chatting and that was it. Later on in the night I was at the bar, I can't remember how it happened but she came over to me and put her hand kinds of on my stomach while I was ordering. we got talking and held that position. I didn't kiss her or anything but got a bit of a fright a few minutes later because I realized she was probably trying to instigate something. Had I been single I would have been up for a kiss but I love my girlfriend. I got a bit worried I would do something I would regret so I left and walked home for two hours. This was a fairly big deal to me because Ive never kissed anyone other than my current gf, or done the whole nightclub thing. (im 20)

Recently Ive found myself trying to cross her path, ie just walk through her dept so i'd get to have a chat. We work together 2/3 times a week as we're both in college.

She's going on holidays for 2 weeks on tuesday which mean I wont see he for around 3-4 weeks. When she told me this today I almost died.

My advice- stay with your current partner.

I don't want to burst your bubble here but i think i'm going to have to- in my opinion this girl was flirting with you at the Xmas party- nothing more and nothing less.

As regards trying to cross her path in work- do not go there. She will eventually think that you're a nutcase if you keep appearing everywhere she happens to be, not to mention you'll be getting a reputation as a bit of a leech. Nothing wrong with being polite if you genuinely encounter her during the day- but forget about the deliberately crossing her path bit, it will put you in a bad position at work. Stay in your designated area where you're probably supposed to be.

Also do not risk your job in this situation. These days your employment should be of more concern to you than some random girl.

Also she's off on holidays- she's as entitled to take them as anybody else. Let her live her life.

I think you are getting the wrong impression- stay with your partner to avoid any future embarassment.

car.kar

Its a crush - nothing more. You say you've been with your girlfriend for four years, when you're in long term relationships like that you're bound to have a crush on someone else at some point. I was with my last boyfriend for three years and I developed a bit of a thing for a guy I worked with, but I recognised it for what it was, just put up with the feelings for a while, and eventually got over it because I was madly in love with my boyfriend.

Don't fret or go feeling guilty, its just human nature.

LegacyUser

I reckon you need to think long and hard about your current relationship, do you see yourself with this girl the rest of your life?
I ask you this because you are only 20 which is very young to be settling down. I know people will advise you to stay with your girlfriend and I know many people can stay with their first love, but you were only 16 getting together and I know if you were my brother I would be recommending you go out and enjoy life before you settle down.
Maybe you are beginning to outgrow your current girlfriend and haven't admitted it yet...

I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. A different view to consider.

Midnight Sundance

I reckon you need to think long and hard about your current relationship, do you see yourself with this girl the rest of your life?
I ask you this because you are only 20 which is very young to be settling down. I know people will advise you to stay with your girlfriend and I know many people can stay with their first love, but you were only 16 getting together and I know if you were my brother I would be recommending you go out and enjoy life before you settle down.
Maybe you are beginning to outgrow your current girlfriend and haven't admitted it yet...

I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. A different view to consider.

James400

You're quite young as you're still only 20.

As i said- 100% stay with your current partner.

Because you are actually are-

1. Risking your job.
2. Risking losing your partner.
3. Risking personal embarassment.
4. Risking malicious rumours being spread about you at work and probably elsewhere if other people find out.

Not worth it mate.

LegacyUser

There is a saying that if you find yourself in love with two ppl you should go with the second cause you wouldn't have fallen for the second if you loved the first.

Having said that I had a cruch on this guy while I was dating a boyfriend for 5 years. I kissed the crush once and regretted it every day for the rest of the relationship. Though your crush sounds more intense and serious than mine. I would consider how much you love your girlfriend and which person you would rather be with

Decatur84

There is a sayinf that if you find yourself in love with two people go for the second because you wouldn't have fallen for the second if you loved the first.

On the other hand I had a crush while I was dating a previous b/f. I kissed the crush and regrettted it everyday for the duration of the relationship(5 years). Consider how much you love your girlfriend and which person you really want to be it. Is your crush worth leaving your g/f for?

James400

Decatur84 wrote: »

Consider how much you love your girlfriend and which person you really want to be it. Is your crush worth leaving your g/f for?

What happens if he leaves his girlfriend and his crush thinks he's a leech at work and has zero interest in him?