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Work Crush... Help!

  • 18-06-2011 9:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everybody!

    Would really like your help and advice on a situation that isn't life ending, or world shattering, but has me very very confused... and I want to get your opinions on it before it escalates!

    So! I am 26, I have a boyfriend of 2 years, and all in all, we are very happy together - we have had our ups and downs, but are in a good place at the moment. We don't live together, but see each other a lot and spend a lot of time together...

    2 weeks ago, I started a brand new job. I am working in a very small team of just 3 people, and so will work really close with them on a daily basis. From day 1 (minute 1, hour 1) I fell for one of them... it was like an instantaneous thing, not just that I thought he was the cutest thing I had ever seen, but his personality was so infectious and we seemed to click straight-away - which would make for a great working relationship, but it seems to have become more than that on my side - I can't stop thinking about him. I find myself getting prettier than I normally would to go to work, finding more opportunities to chat to him and get to know him. I can't stop thinking about him!

    I don't know what to do about this! I am a very good and honest person, I would never cheat on my boyfriend, and it would never come to that - but my mind has been drifting to this "work crush" (which is what I am calling it, as I know the whole situation is so silly and childish) and daydreaming about him! How can I snap out of it?! Does this indicate that I am somehow lacking or unhappy with my relationship? Before I started my work, I would never EVER have thought that anything like this was possible... I just can't get him out of my head... He knows I have a boyfriend, and I am pretty sure he also has a girlfriend (if not, there is a major fish to be caught for any of you single ladies) so what do I do?! Has this ever happened to anybody else?

    Its not like I can avoid him at work - we will be working together every day, sitting beside each other... I don't know if I can even handle that.

    How do I deal with this crush?!

    Thank you guys.... x


Comments

  • #2
    stamfordbridge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 ✭stamfordbridge


    These things happen quite often. Unfortunately, unless this guy does something that really annoys you, I have a feeling he's going to be in your head for a while.. All the signs are there that you are preparing for the next level with him - your sub-conscious is even telling you to make yourself look pretty and put your best self forward!! :rolleyes:

    I don't blame you though, you didn't plan this and if you like him, you like him. There's no point trying not to like him - that could make things worse. It sounds like you're behaving well, I mean others would go for him without a thought. Obviously, your boyfriend means a lot and you're not going to throw that away easily.

    I really don't think you have much lee way here. You're going to like him. Don't feel bad, just try to let it pass. We've all had little crushes where at first this person seems like the best thing ever, and then 2 months later we think "why did I like him/her in the first place:confused:?!?!"

    I would say just go with it for now, you're gonna like him but you're taken and as you say, perhaps he is too. Definitely don't do anything rash, however that seems unlikely as you seem to have your head well screwed on. Let us know how it goes.


  • #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - if it helps... you are seeing him at this best in work.

    You are not seeing him hung over in the morning, picking his nose of coughing up a loogey... or worse.

    Seriously though - just because you are in a relationship does not mean the blinkers go on. You will still be attracted to other people. One thing you can try to do is to pour that energy back into your relationship at home.

    Just do yourself a favour - if you are heading that way end it first with your boyfriend - the last thing he needs is a text after your next work do to tell him then it is all over...


  • #4
    A Plague On Both Your Houses
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭A Plague On Both Your Houses


    Pretend he's gay and you never stood a chance to begin with.


  • #5
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    A Plague On Both Your Houses, that's the second time in two days you have suggested pretending homosexuality as a solution to a poster in this forum.

    If you haven't already done so can I ask that you please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

    Many thanks.


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