Should i go home?

Mrs Garth Brooks

Im not sure what to do. I finished college last month. I get the results in the next two or three weeks. While im waiting i cant plan what to do. If i pass, im doing another year. If i dont pass i want to go home which is the opposite side of the country.

I have a feeling im not going to do that well. But after the year, im glad i tried. But im still here at the opposite side of the country, waiting. Most friends went off home for the summer or working. I decided to stay as i hate moving. And the small chance that i do pass, i wouldn't have to move again in september (from one side of the country to the next).

But i do have to get out of the house share im in now as im sharing with a very selfish housemate that has some moods. Oh and she's nosy. She asks me everything. I cant relax here. She has also decided not to pay her share of the tv license or the bins. Even though its been 3 weeks since the renewal bill came for the bins, they didn't notice and are still taking the bins. But they will notice sometime. She also likes her heat in the middle of june, even though its not cold. Its wasting money.

She has also hinted during the year, telling me a few times, the landlord wants professionals in the house. She somehow has a view of professionals as workers. She works 12 hours a week herself. I never had a problem with the landlord and she had no problem taking money of me.
I gave my month's notice at the end of may. I have until the last day of june here. I have been searching daft for a houseshare. Saw a couple of places and you wouldn't put a dog in them. Saw some nice looking places on daft at the start of the month. But it was too early to take it.

I saw a place during the week. I met the landlord where she finds the tenants. There was 1 guy in the house. She told me he was nice, working. I somehow trusted her and out of desperation from getting away from this place i said i would take it. It was also the day after the housemate had a go at me where i was in tears. Without even meeting the other guy. ... I realised this was a massive mistake. ... I rang up the landlord and said there was a family emergency and had to move home. I got the deposit back.

So i am only here at the opposite side of the country in the hope of passing my exams, as i hate moving from one end of the country to the next. I have loads of stuff which i dont fancy bringing onto buses. I cant stay here until i get the results in july, to decide whether im staying or not. The house is also due an oil fill soon. And the housemate will probably want me to cough up to heat her ass over the summer, while she wont pay for the bins.

Its such a nightmare moving and finding a place. I dont want a place the opposite side of town. Want to stay close enough to town. Some rooms lack space, i have loads of stuff. Some rooms can be expensive. And you have to find the right kind of people to share with.

Im asking would it be best just to move home now as i dont think i done too well with the exams anyway. And sure if i do pass, i can always come back again in september. Where i probably could team up with the class mates and who ever is coming back to college.

Sorry for the long post. But what would you guys do? Im just so stressed out with this housemate. I cant relax until the weekend when she's gone. And im also bored all day on the dole.

Go home?

thefeatheredcat

I've been in that situation a couple of times OP. I think there is really one complete answer that only you can answer: what does your gut instinct tell you and what will make you happy right now?

I think one of the lessons from my years of moving house and experiences of others is never move house when you're in an unhappy situation because whatever you view will always compare better than to what you have at the time, grass is greener that sort of thing. I think especially as you're under a bit of stress with your house mate you probably would be willing to take something that isn't quite what you want just to get yourself out of there.

I think the pros of moving home: you won't have the stress of the situation of current housemate and the financial worries about the oil, bins, etc. You then have a chance and opportunity to get some rest and do other things, catch up at home, whatever takes your fancy really. Should you go back to college, once you know you're in then you have a chance to focus on getting a new place to live and meet up with others. OK you won't have a base camp, but you have the familiarity of the place and time to keep an eye out for places. Even if you don't get into college next year, then at least you're in a more secure position to consider what's next for you around comfortable surroundings (if that is the case of course).

The only con I can really think of is just the inconvenience of moving back and forth, which yes is impractical, but not altogether impossible. I remember having to do that in my college days and not something I'd look forward too either. Maybe you could ask around for getting help with moving things?

If you stay where you are, well there's going to be stress and if you move out, then of course in the unlikely event you don't get into the course, you may have to consider what's next for you anyway.

I'd focus on what would make you happy in life at the moment to do and build from that. I think your overall happiness is more important than anything so that is what I would go with myself in that situation.

Mrs Garth Brooks

I have no gut instinct. Not this time. I just have to move. I think maybe moving to a place for the rest of the summer might be the answer, and then decide. And then at least il have the rest of the summer to decide and plan things. But i cant while im still here and being quizzed about my every move. She has even been putting pressure on me to get work. Every week she asks, did i find work.

But it leaves me 12 days to find somewhere.
Can that be done? To sort out a place during this week? Im terrified no ones going to post new places on daft for this week.

thefeatheredcat

If you're able to concentrate your efforts then yes it can be done. Not just by looking at daft though. It has been suggested to me in the past to put up those flashcards and notices in shops in the areas where interested in moving to. So you have that option and usually a lot of supermarkets will still have community boards for notices.

The main issue I think for you is your housemate (from what I can recall from previous threads) and that you need to be happier in yourself.

If you're really undecided, do the usual pro/con list before and after you've visited a couple of places and whether they're suitable for what you want and your needs and if you'll be happy there.

Even if it doesn't work out, you could still move home for a while and recharge yourself after all the stress you've had and be fully energised for a full on house hunt

chloek

move home for a few weeks and think about what you want to do.
There is plenty of time to look for a place to live. what are your plans after you get your results ?

Wompa1

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

I have no gut instinct. Not this time. I just have to move. I think maybe moving to a place for the rest of the summer might be the answer, and then decide. And then at least il have the rest of the summer to decide and plan things. But i cant while im still here and being quizzed about my every move. She has even been putting pressure on me to get work. Every week she asks, did i find work.

But it leaves me 12 days to find somewhere.
Can that be done? To sort out a place during this week? Im terrified no ones going to post new places on daft for this week.

How much time do you spend at your place? Why don't you do something in the evenings or days or whenever you are seeing this girl? If you don't have a job go and get one and I don't accept the whole there are no jobs going. I'm in Galway which is the black spot of the country and there's plenty of jobs going here. If not that then do an internship in your area of study or go to a volunteer center or something??

Mrs Garth Brooks

I have decided im going to move home for the rest of the summer. There's no point staying on in the hope i pass my exams. I feel as if i didn't do well. And well if i do pass, there's plenty of time to find a place. The stress of this one isn't worth staying on. And if i move into another houseshare now, find out i did crap in the exams, im moving home anyway. So no point moving into another place for a month. So i might as well do it now.

Neyite

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

I have decided im going to move home for the rest of the summer. There's no point staying on in the hope i pass my exams. I feel as if i didn't do well. And well if i do pass, there's plenty of time to find a place. The stress of this one isn't worth staying on. And if i move into another houseshare now, find out i did crap in the exams, im moving home anyway. So no point moving into another place for a month. So i might as well do it now.

It sound like the right idea. You can recharge, and then in a few weeks, get an early start on renting, once you have your results (and they are probably not as bad as you think) You will find the stress relief of not having that spectre of a housemate hanging over your shoulder a great mood booster for you.

Mrs Garth Brooks

Just another thing, would anyone know is it alot of hassle to transfer the dole back home? Has anyone ever done it before? I probably need proof of address, but i get bank statements sent back home.

I know i probably have to call into the dole office at home. But to have everything sorted and payment in new post office next week, should i be going home on wednesday after getting the dole payment here?

I have a sign on date in cork in two weeks, and to get everything sorted i would much prefer to go home this week.