Survival. Could you live off the land?

Knight who says Meh

So. The world for what ever reason goes to hell in a wossits. All the looting possibilities have been used up so no more tinned food, Crispy Pancakes or Jelly Tots in the supermarkets. There is no petrol or electricity or 'Strictly' or Facebook around anymore. Board.ie is but a distant memory. Theres just you and your family and your dog, a poodle, and you have a knife.
Ask your self....... COULD YOU SURVIVE???:eek:

I have a copy of The SAS Survival book somewhere and am a close personal friend of Ray Mears and I firmly believe that Bear Grills is a frilly blouse. So obviously I would be fine.....

galwayrush

Yes, i could get my butler and maid to learn the art.

alwaysadub

I'm a scout leader so of course I could survive!

Duff

Can I drink my own p1ss?

Knight who says Meh

alwaysadub wrote: »

I'm a scout leader so of course I could survive!

Nope. I would trap you with some handy knotted rope and toasting marsh mallows and eat you

Richard Hillman

All i need is a knife, a water bottle, a flint and some string.

galwayrush

Duff wrote: »

Can I drink my own p1ss?

Bloody health and safety wouldn't allow it.

Latchy

/ Goes underground with torchlight

/ finds the main bunker switch for lights off generator


/ see you all in 6 months when water and food supplys have run out :eek:

Knight who says Meh

AND FOR THE LOVE OF THOR AND ALL THE OTHER IMAGINARY FRIENDS!!!!



DONT EAT POLAR BEAR LIVER!!!!!!
It has poisonous levels of vitamin A.
Now you know.

RachaelVO

No, no I couldn't. Nor would I want to!

Latchy

Knight who says Meh wrote: »

DONT EAT POLAR BEAR LIVER!!!!!!
It has poisonous levels of vitamin A.
Now you know.

I like fish so I'm having Penguin by flouresent light

Knight who says Meh

Latchy wrote: »

/ Goes underground with torchlight

/ finds the main bunker switch for lights off generator


/ see you all in 6 months when water and food supplys have run out :eek:

Ah. But for the likes of I the water and food supply never does run out. And when you emerge blinking into the sun you will hear the swish of my arrow as it enters your chest and then you will be round to my gaff for dinner.... In a manner of speaking.

strokemyclover

Knight who says Meh wrote: »

I...am a close personal friend of Ray Mears and I firmly believe that Bear Grills is a frilly blouse

Knight who says Meh wrote: »

Nope. I would trap you with some handy knotted rope and toasting marsh mallows and eat you

Tune in next week to see if Ray survives this! :eek:

:pac:

Latchy

Knight who says Meh wrote: »

Ah. But for the likes of I the water and food supply never does run out. And when you emerge blinking into the sun you will hear the swish of my arrow as it enters your chest and then you will be round to my gaff for dinner.... In a manner of speaking.

I'll have a clove of poisin in my mouth so .....just in case

im invisible

Knight who says Meh wrote: »

Theres just you and your family and your dog, a poodle, and you have a knife.
Ask your self....... COULD YOU SURVIVE???:eek:

well, thats tonights dinner sorted, so. maybe enough for a sandwich in the morning aswell, wait, wheres the bread...

edit, i thought it was just me and the dog.



if i have the whole family with me, that should keep me going for a month.....

pragmatic1

Not a hope.

galwayrush

No, because we won't be allowed to live in the countryside in the future unless there's a mains sewage provided.

Standard Toaster

The Chinese will still be open....bag of chicken balls & chips there Wang.

Radharc na Sleibhte

Absolutely, of course, who couldnt these days.







Money grows on trees, right?

KeithAFC

Aye.

flutterflye

There's still internet though right??

Um.. I guess I could. I'd just batt my eyelids at a few guys when I needed food.

ejmaztec

I've got a Yogi Bear survival phd.

johngalway

<

---

*checks forums I help mod*

Mmmmmm.... that's a toughie

wild_cat

Yup. Grew up on a farm and have read many eating from the hedge row books to.


Wouldn't have a clue how to snare an animal for meat though (like what kind of trap to make). My parents are always going on about how nice rabbit was before mxyo came on the rounds big time.

**Timbuk2**

I played Minecraft so I'd feel thoroughly prepared for such an occurrence.

Capt'n Midnight

wild_cat wrote: »

My parents are always going on about how nice rabbit was before mxyo came on the rounds big time.

Just use Oxo instead :pac:

AckwelFoley

I have a Diploma in Agriculture and farming.

i reckon id be safe

Solnskaya

Don't think a diploma in getting the c.a.p grants and how to finance a massey ferguson would do you much good Snype, and daysul could be scarce for them big jeeps that are compulsory for farming nowadays. Personally I would just hide in the local Lidl and survive on pot noodle, the people round here are too lazy to loot anything, so it should be grand.

AckwelFoley

Solnskaya wrote: »

Don't think a diploma in getting the c.a.p grants and how to finance a massey ferguson would do you much good Snype, and daysul could be scarce for them big jeeps that are compulsory for farming nowadays. Personally I would just hide in the local Lidl and survive on pot noodle, the people round here are too lazy to loot anything, so it should be grand.

Ignorance is bliss.

Nobody buys massey's now. :pac:

Latchy

snyper wrote: »

I have a Diploma in Agriculture and farming.

i reckon id be safe

You ,We could chop the Diploma certificates up and make something .....call it snyper stew

AckwelFoley

Latchy wrote: »

You ,We could chop the Diploma certificates up and make something .....call it snyper stew

Snyper stew... sounds cumish

Solnskaya

He didn't really get a diploma, it was sort of a bertie job, y'know, tell 'em ya have it, tell it for long enough, and you start to believe it yourself. I was a one day course called "How to live on a farm," and Snype fell asleep half way through.

AckwelFoley

Solnskaya wrote: »

He didn't really get a diploma, it was sort of a bertie job, y'know, tell 'em ya have it, tell it for long enough, and you start to believe it yourself. I was a one day course called "How to live on a farm," and Snype fell asleep half way through.

ohhhhh no, it was a real one. Mountbellew.

Worst 12 months of my life, even worst than the 18 months i spent as a hostage in Afganistan

Ok, so Afganistan is not true, but the horrid experience of Mountbellew scars for life

Latchy

snyper wrote: »

Snyper stew... sounds cumish

Stravation wont improve our hearing but that .......that Diploma will feed our bellys

Solnskaya

Latchy wrote: »

Stravation wont improve our hearing but that .......that Diploma will feed our bellys

I got stravated once and it was lovely Latchy, you don't wana knock it till you try it.

AckwelFoley

Ive learned from a very early age to fend for myself.

Bless my mother, shes a great woman but cant cook for sh1t. Ive seen my own missus throw out leftovers to the dog that look better than my mothers sunday dinners.

Latchy

Solnskaya wrote: »

I got stravated once and it was lovely Latchy, you don't wana knock it till you try it.

Stravinsky was cool to but he couldn't cook for **** ...

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Solnskaya

Veles wrote: »

I am wel trained;)i can adapt and overcome;)

Ihe ancient art of w.e.l is indeed formidable, but does it not require electricity?


edit, can't be all that ancient if it uses leccy now can it soln, ya thick baxter.

vampire of kilmainham

having spent 12 yrs in the army holding the rank of company/sgt id have no problem surviveing any situation

eco2live

Depends on the reason for it. Get out of the city straight away. Find some fresh water and some bread for the poodle sandwich. Wear the remains of the dog on your head to look menacing. Try to find Bertie or Pat Kenny as I am sure that those jammy gits would have a shelter. Then the knife comes into play :mad:

kylith

I occasionally muse about what I'd do if civilisation collapsed, and I reckon I could do alright.

First I'd claim Áras an Uachtaráin and shut the gates of the Phoenix Park. The family could give the place a good clean and start digging up some lawns to plant veg whilst I headed out of the city on horseback to get some sheep, which the dogs could help me round up. I'd eat the zoo animals and probably use some of the enclosures to keep chickens in. There's plenty of deer in there to vary your diet, and there's a lot of wood there too.

For more hardcore survival I know how to prepare common snails for eating, and have been instructed as to how to turn worms into a protien-rich thickener for stews, though I'd bet that they taste like sh*t anyway. I also know how to cook woodlice; apparently they're delicious.