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To tell or not to tell

  • 18-06-2011 5:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    So the love of my life is moving out of the country.

    We had a long term relationship, then we broke up 18 months ago - and have been through lots of drama since. Still madly in love with each other, but we broke up due to the fact that we were fighting like b**ches. Some of the reasons for the fights were external factors, but others were directly related to annoying behaviours, inconsiderations for each other etc. And one day he had enough and broke up with me.

    I moved on pretty quickly. Moved on is not the word, I was still in love with him(and still am) however I coped well with the break up and threw myself into other things. He however did not move on and I think realised every day he made the biggest mistake of his life. He made numerous attempts to get back with me all of which I rejected as I didn't feel I could cope with the possibility of another break up, and I did not want to put myself in a position where i was vulnerable to that.

    I started seeing some one new lately, however this has just reignited my passion for my ex, and has highlighted how much it is him I miss and love and that basically I cant get over him. At the same time, my ex told me he was leaving to go to Canada, so that he could start a life without me in it. I feel sick at the thought of this.

    Is it unfair to him to tell him how I feel? Should I let him go and move on, or should I take the chance myself, tell him how I feel and see his reaction?

    Opinions appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    A Plague On Both Your Houses
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭A Plague On Both Your Houses


    This isn't a question that anyone can answer besides yourself.

    I'd say handle it with care, however.

    Do you think you can look past his annoying qualities? Can he look past yours? Can you not take external matters so personally? Do you see yourself in a lasting relationship with this man?

    If you hesitate on any of the above questions, it's probably best to move on. He obviously isn't over you if he has to move out of the country to forget about you.

    Do what you want to do, but don't do it for the wrong reasons. Good luck.


  • #3
    lace
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 400 ✭✭lace


    It could be that he's having the same problems getting over you as you are him, and is moving away because he thinks that you've moved on and no longer love him.

    On the other hand, however, I'm not sure I believe that love alone is always enough. I'm a firm believer that two people can completely love each other and just not work out as a couple. Telling him could make him want to stay but him staying could also result in the same kind of relationship and the same kind of problems you had before.

    As the above poster said, you have a lot to consider here. If you think you could possibly get over him and be happy with another partner then let him go so you can both move on. If you believe that you two really could make a go of things and be happy together or feel that you absolutely cannot move on until you know how he feels then tell him. Just be prepared for his answer and its consequences.


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