Constantly worry about money when I don't need to.

C.D.

A bit of background to put it in context: I am 24, 1 year out of college working for Big Pharma in a job that is as secure as one can be in the current climate. I earn the equivalent of €34k p/a with ~20% paid out in different lump sums. I'm going on shift for 6 months which will push me up to an annualised figure of ~€40k. I have no debt, no dependents, a nice car and savings of €9k. I am fiscally responsible and save ~€1k a month, excluding big ticket items every few months such as car tax. So all in all I am very lucky and am not on the breadline.

Yet I constantly worry about how much I am saving/spending. I worry I need to save more and build a nest egg to be able to provide for a (future) family- education, healthcare etc. I worry that the high cost of labour will drive my industry from our shores and in 10 years the Pharma/medical devices sector in Ireland will leave behind swathes of unemployed workers with decades of experience similar to the construction industry. In such a scenario, I worry I would need my nest egg to emigrate or retrain.

My dad was the breadwinner, took a lot of risk and is very successful. As a child I had cancer and were my parents not able to pay for everything and have me treated in a very short time frame I would not be alive today. I lie awake at night worried of not being able to do the same for my (future) children or wife.

This translates into obsessive and selfish behaviour- I go to Tesco and obsess about whether the utility I stand to gain from spending an €0.50 on this bar of chocolate vs. that bar of chocolate is worth the cost (totally ridiculous). As soon as I hear it is somebody's birthday my first thought is immediately "how much will that cost me?"- how selfish can one be?

I have large spreadsheets filled with years worth of historical balances of liquid assets and investments with dozens of graphs and projections for the future. I would spend a lot of time forecasting and adjusting these sheets- in reality it is a total waste of my time and just provides a platform for me to quantify my obsession. I would love to be able to relax and not obsess about money- it is most certainly not a healthy or attractive trait. I would be interested to hear from others about about how they manage worries and fears that are essentially irrational or successfully deal with needlessly worrying. I can only imagine that if I am like this now, I will be a nervous wreck when I actually have children. I should mention that I do have an active social life with great friends and a fantastic girlfriend to preempt the suggestion I get a life!

metrovelvet

I see absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. I wish I was more like you.

lace

A lot of people worry about money and keep an eye on it, especially with the economy in the state it is at the moment. It's probably going to stand to you in the long run that you're taking in interest in your finances!

I will say, however, that if you feel this is getting out of control and causing you a great deal of anxiety then maybe just have a chat with your GP about it. It's good that you're so on top of your finances but if you feel it's taking over and preventing you from enjoying things or getting in the way of relationships then maybe you would benefit from talking to some one to help iron out the worries?

edit : You asked how others deal with needless obsessions and worries. I find that the best way is to talk it out.

LightningBolt

You're saving a third of your net income, possibly a quarter gross each month in addition to another fifth going on pensions or some other form of long term savings (I'm guessing that as you say you've no debt). There's nothing to worry about if you're putting that sort of cash away. You say you worry about the utility gained from spending 50c on a bar.

My solution is this (I suspect you already have this done): Set up a standing order so that each payday your saving are all withdrawn at once. Whatever you have left over spend happily. Spend every cent and don't think about it.

mikemac

It's not that strange OP

I agree with the post above
Setup a standing order so the money is taken out of your account and it's like you don't even have it to spend.
But the money adds up and sooner then you think you'll have a nice sum built up

What's left, don't stress over it. If you want expensive tickets to a gig on Friday night or even a weekend city break somewhere and have the money in the current account then go for it.
The savings will still be adding up

LegacyUser

oh my god! I have a similar problem to you. I am a few years older than you and female.

I "watch" my money/incomes/earning/projected income etc ALOT. Too much. I worry that I will never have enough.

I have 3 savings accounts and a current account.

1 savings account is for a large lump sum of money (will be a deposit for a mortgage someday).
1 savings for things like buying new cars etc
1 savings I call my "unemployment" fund (in case I ever become unemployed)

I dont own a house/have a mortgage. I drive a brand new car. Highly educated. I worry it is never enough. Am not very ambitious work-wise, but would like to settle and have a family some day. I actually come across to people as very ditzy and not at all in tune with what is going on. If they only knew! Sometimes I will not go out or buy something because I know that that "e20 I pay" will interfer (as I see it) with what I know will be my current account balance on Friday. I know already what I will save in the next 6 months and what I will buy. I could tell you right now what my balance will be on the 31st Dec 2011 on every single account I have. Think it is a little (a lot) OCD. Am not like this with other areas in my life though. I am single at the moment and I think if I could only organise my love life like my bank balance, I would be flying it!!!

quickbeam

I do the same as you, OP. I save a lot, keep spreadsheets, and don't spend money thoughtlessly. Some people slag me, saying that I must still have my communion money, or, I could be dead tomorrow so I ought to be spending it. But it's far more likely that I will still be here tomorrow so I don't see anything wrong with being careful. If more people would be like that then the country wouldn't be in the state it's in. I like knowing that I don't have to count down to pay day to be able to pay off a sum on my credit card or something comes up that I really want, like a concert, I have the means to pay for it.

So, saving okay in my book. However, if you do feel that it's become an obsession then maybe talk to somebody about it. And if it's a friend's birthday try to be happy for them rather than just thinking about how much it'll cost you. There is a happy medium to be had.

Eve_Dublin

Have a look at this test on the BBC website, OP. It tells you if your a little too obsessed or not...

http://money-watch.co.uk/8301/bbc-big-money-test

beks101

I think a toned-down amount of your diligence would be a great thing and something most people should strive for. It's understandable given your background, your parent's success and your ambitiousness that you'd want to keep an eye on where you're going, what you want to achieve and where you want to end up in life.

But really, the obsessive spreadsheet stuff and the internal debates about the financial implications of buying a chocolate bar etc...suggest something else is going on. It sounds like you're projecting a lot of general anxiety onto money and controlling it is sort of a coping mechanism for you. Money is important and having a nest egg for the future or a rainy day should definitely be a priority, but really OP, you're 24 - you should be out enjoying yourself without this anxiety hanging over your head or influencing your life. Keep a reign on things for sure - that's an admirable trait, but don't do it to the detriment of your mental health. The fact that you posted here in the first place indicates that this is a problem for you.

You don't sound like a massive spender, you sound more like a saver anyway so I think you need to trust yourself a little more - just because you go out and blow some cash on a night out occasionally or pick up some non-essentials in the supermarket from time to time does not mean you are out of control, or stupid, or self-indulgent, or going to go broke and not ever going to be able to afford the cost of a mortgage. It's called living. You have a good job, work hard for your money and thus are entitled to enjoy yourself from time to time without thinking about the bottom line. You'll be mortgaged and billed and familied up for long enough...enjoy these years!

I think the standing order idea is a good one if you haven't already done that - it might ease the anxiety to know that a sizeable amount of savings will automatically be drawn from your account every month. I really think you should work to ease off on your other controls and allocate yourself a certain number out of the remaining amount, to just enjoy yourself with, in whatever way you choose. Non-spreadsheetable cash!

Plus - who's to say you'll end up in the same role as your Dad, as the sole breadwinner for some future family? You're putting too much pressure on yourself here and failing to actually recognise how well you are doing right now, at the age you're at to have a good job with decent pay, no debts, financial independence and a nice lump of savings started.

Wompa1

I use to worry about my money a lot. This was down to the fact I from a very young age was independant from my parents and would be scraping by on very very little. My crowning achievement was once only spending 9 euros on my food for a week. When I started my current job after college my parents were in dire straits financially and my mother came crying to me about a loan. I went to the bank and got a loan for 10k to keep them from going broke.

I lived in an awful box room with no windows to try and pay back the loan. Everybody around me were buying nice cars and going on holidays etc. All my money went to paying back this loan. When I had it paid off, I happened to get a few pay rises back to back and promotions. Now I make a very very good salary and thank to all my penny pinching I've decided to be less cautious with my money. I still try to keep some savings but I'm more likely to splurge on weekends away with my g/f or holidays etc.

I also finally bought a dream car after years of driving a '96 pile of crap. Things are good :-) Try to worry less and enjoy your wealth my friend

Cool Mo D

One step you could take is to budget yourself a set amount of money every month as "spare", which is your allowance for the month to fritter away on whatever you like.

That way you can enjoy spending money on stuff like chocolate bars and eating out without worrying about it fitting into your plans. If you have a small unexpected expense, take it out of that money. If you run out before the month is over, you can cut out whatever extra spending you want, and you'll know that you will have more spending money next month. You can then enjoy yourself and still be as obsessive as you want with the rest of your cash.

C.D.

Thanks guys, some really great posts in there. I even feel relaxed after reading about people with similar problems. I think the suggestion to save a fixed amount per month and enjoy the rest (as opposed to trying to save as much as possible) is a great idea. I will save aggressively until I reach 15k (which I think is a large enough nest egg to cover any immediate eventualities) and then take it easy after that.