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  • 13-06-2011 12:35am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    typical post but a few months back I had a drunken kiss with a friend of mine which took me completely by surprise, then another and we've ended up sleeping together...

    at first I was happy with it being a **** buddy situation (we never discussed it but I didnt want any more so thats what it was in my mind) but in typical fashion, I've now fallen for him (cannot believe it as I've had fb situations before that I never wanted anything more from).

    There are times when I think he wants more too but other times not so sure.

    there are reasons why it would be difficult for us to be together (neither of us married but I think we'd both have alot to lose, perphaps me even more than him).

    i think i'm at the stage where I think I have to ask him, I risk a friendship but the dynamics of that are changed anyway, lines have been crossed which cannot be uncrossed but I know I will be hurt if he doesnt feel the same way.

    is it true that if a man really wants you he'll tell you regardless of the complications. I am aswell to just stop sleeping with him and try to go back to the way things were.

    head is melted with this, we are no teenagers either but at the moment I feel like one.


Comments

  • #2
    prickleberry
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭prickleberry


    Hey OP, sorry to hear that. I was in the same position as you are now, I fell for the guy and well they didn't fall for me, despite the fact that we were best friends. I kept the situation going for quite a while until he found someone better and left and ignored me and essentially destroyed the friendship, but that was mutual fault. I think you really need to tell him and see how he feels, i know there's the possibility of rejection but you will be a lot worse in the long run if you don't, trust me. If he doesn't feel the same way, which is probably the case then surround yourself in other friends and get to know them better, that really helps. This person cannot play a significant role in your life if the feelings aren't returned for the time being. You will get over the person and meet someone who will love you......

    Basically just tell the person..... but there's no guarantee you will remain friends either way.


  • #3
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    confusedop wrote: »
    i think i'm at the stage where I think I have to ask him, I risk a friendship but the dynamics of that are changed anyway, lines have been crossed which cannot be uncrossed but I know I will be hurt if he doesnt feel the same way.

    I think you're being very mature about this. All too often people post on here in the futile hope that if they continue to shag someone casually there will suddenly be a revelation on the other person's part that they are hopelessly in love. It doesn't usually work like that. It can though, and I think the only way to sort this out is to actually come straight out and discuss it. If feelings are not reciprocated and you're not going to make a go of it then stop sleeping with him and steer clear for the time being - I think you know that anyway. Good luck, hope it works out for you.


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