three years no sex

LegacyUser

I really feel for you...I am in the same situation as you. Its been three years for me as well. I have resorted to using a vibrator ( which I have intentionally left out for him to see).

We have no children and this is not our first marriages. When we met we had an incredible sexual relationship..he had incredible stamina and sex drive we would spend hours and hours but then everything changed. First we would go a month then it was three months then a year then two now three. It was only when I THREATENED TO LEAVE HIM THAT WE EVER HAD SEX. But the quality was lacking and very unsatisfying for me, he would get off almost immediately and rollover.

Approximately three and a half years ago while getting dressed for my niece's wedding he became amorous..of course because he knew we couldn't. So he started blaming me...I told him that after being denied and made to feel like the most ugliest and sexless women for years I was not going to jump to please him...TO WHICH HE BEGGED AND PROMISED THAT WE WOULD START A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP AGAIN BUT THAT WAS A LIE...he got off and that was three years ago.

We do not kiss or hug or even hold hands...Our marriage is farce and I am ready to leave.
I have asked him to go into counseling but he says there is nothing wrong. HE CLAIMS HE LOVES ME maybe he does as a mother or sister but not as a wife. Problem although I have been so hurt and neglected I still love him.

You are not alone...I too am living in a convent.

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

I've given you your own thread as the one you posted on was several years old.

/mod hat

I really don't understand why you would put up with a situation that clearly makes you so unhappy for years.

You sound so angry and frustrated and hurt that this has gone on and on and on but really, you are the one responsible for that happening. You have to give yourself an out. Attend counselling or you leave, an improvement by X date or you leave.

You aren't a deviant or bad person for wanting a decent sex life and the way your husband has gone about blaming you and refusing counselling has not only killed off your sex life but also your marriage - you need sit him down and spell out in no uncertain terms that you've reached the end of your patience and if there aren't significant and lasting changes, the end of your marriage - and then stick to that.

You owe it to yourself to have a decent relationship with a man who thinks you worth sorting out issues for.

All the best.

Miss Fluff

How horrific :eek: I'm not one for ultimatums usually but in ths instance I think it's your only choice. The sexless relationship you inhabit is indeed a farce, if you wanted that kind of dynamic just move in with a male friend or brother. Tell him the options are psychosexual/relationship counselling or you leave. There is no room for ambiguity here.

LegacyUser

I thank you both for your response.