Casual Dating VS Going Steady

horseone

Hi there folks,

After an 11yr absence from singelton life, I’d like some opinion around dating etiquette please.

So my relationship(married for 6 yrs) with my wife came to an end earlier this year when she asked for a separation. After a few months soul searching and trying not to hate my ex, I decided my time might be better spent by focusing on the positives(I’m 32, 2 cracking kids & a good job) and the future (i.e. dating). More specifically internet dating.

Set my stall out on my profile, Intent – wants to date but nothing serious.
After a bit of e-mail banter and phone calls over about 10 days, I arranged a f2f with a girl in a similar situation (although no kids). We’ve been on 5 dates so far and we’ve also slept together. All good. We've gone out 5 times over the course of 2 months at this stage.

I’ve discussed with her that I’m not looking for any long-term gigg, just want to get date again with a good dose of fun thrown in. She seemed fine with this. She also knows that I’m chatting to other girls on the same website although I haven’t met anybody else yet.

I’m slightly worried we might stray into a more “steady” type relationship unintentionally. After 11 years, I’m not sure when I’ll be ready for that again, but I do know it ain’t now.

Todays dating scene (sound like me Da) seems to have a grey area between casual dating and going steady, I’d like to know what defines each stage.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think there is a defining point; some friends with benefits situations see each other regularly and some defined relationships see each other seldom - the only real definition other than assumptions is both agreeing that a more serious relationship stage has been reached and you will both be exclusive from there-in.

If you think it's getting too serious then no harm in reminding parties what your profile stated - I'm sure if things are going well some may assume you are going to disregard the "nothing serious"...

All the best

Miss Fluff

I don't think there is any problem or potential for hurt feelings when both parties are honest and upfront with one another. You've seen her five times over the course of two months so if it was me, I'd know it wasn't veering into anything serious. No harm in reiterating that you're not ready to get into anything heavy or be exclusive. As long as you're totally clear on where you are and what you want then nobody can accuse you of leading them on or making false promises.

Emme

If you were looking for something casual why did you sleep with her?

Some women will think the relationship is serious when you sleep together unless you specify otherwise first.

You're extremely eligible, but be honest with the women you meet and treat them properly.

allym

Emme wrote: »

If you were looking for something casual why did you sleep with her?

Some women will think the relationship is serious when you sleep together unless you specify otherwise first.

You're extremely eligible, but be honest with the women you meet and treat them properly.

A relationship can still be casual when there's sex involved! It's not as if all women suddenly start picturing a future once they've slept with someone.

OP, as has been said everyone defines their relationships differently so your best bet is to have a chat and reiterate that you only want something casual (if you feel that it is getting serious)