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Change your personality?

  • 11-06-2011 9:47pm
    #1
    laugh.a.minute
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi everyone,

    I am just looking for a bit of direction so any help would be greatly appreciated!!

    I'm 29, a quiet guy, don't like confrontation & not great at expressing myself properly. There's nothing wrong with me but I always end up talking in half sentences and mumbling while I'm at it. I try to banter but I end up just standing there smiling while my mind goes blank and you can forget about telling stories/jokes...

    Thing is, its getting worse - Im getting self conscious about it and now am starting to avoid social situations, its just getting awkward being in a group. I don't have intest in sports/news etc so other people are just finding it awkward to talk to me as well.

    I want to do something about this now before it gets out of hand - Is there anyone other there that found themselves in this situation and did something about it?

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    what are you interested in ? have you common interests with friends?


  • #3
    7sr2z3fely84g5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭7sr2z3fely84g5


    Put yourself into "awkward" situations like pubs/clubs/events,bring a friend along for support if it goes quiet.


  • #4
    Elmidena
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,570 ✭✭✭Elmidena


    Take it in comfortable steps; pace yourself where you're in your comfort bubble then stretch it for a little bit longer, and keep elongating it every time. Don't give in to the negativity and yes it is difficult, but after a while you'll have the hang of it and it'll all be a blip in the past =)


  • #5
    Duffy the Vampire Slayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,384 ✭✭✭Duffy the Vampire Slayer


    Actually having another person with you in awkward situations who is more confident and chatty, can mean that you're overshadowed and you become dependent on having another person with you in those situations. So I've found anyway.


  • #6
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »
    Actually having another person with you in awkward situations who is more confident and chatty, can mean that you're overshadowed and you become dependent on having another person with you in those situations. So I've found anyway.

    yes, very good point.

    but as many shy people find, they're just too self conscious to try be the centre of attention.


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  • #7
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Moved from after hours.


  • #8
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Okay folks, PI appropriate responses only from here on in please - anyone not sure what those are can find the charter [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]here[/URL].

    Many thanks


  • #9
    user 666
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭user 666


    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-Gillian/dp/1849010005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1307882910&sr=8-1

    might be worth a look.


  • #10
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Have you thought about attending assertiveness training?

    Another option would be to take up speech & drama or join an acting class/theatre group. Something like that, while hugely enjoyable, would take you so far out of your comfort zone, you'd have no choice but to get on with it imo. I've never been short on confidence myself thankfully but I do know someone shy who did join a group and it helped their confidence improve in leaps and bounds.


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