Still love my ex

LegacyUser

I’m a male in my twenties. My ex-girlfriend and I were going out for just over 10 months, before she ended it a month ago. I’ve gone through break-ups before, and know the immediate hurt dies away after the initial period, but I really feel this time is different. I’m finding it very difficult to forget her and move on, and am still in love with her. We have not seen or spoken to eachother since the break-up. There was no cheating or betrayal involved.

Looking back at it now, the break-up had been coming over the weeks preceding it: small arguments were becoming more frequent. I know I risk being labelled deluded and self-pitying here; but I really feel she still loves me too. I’m aware of the “anyone who’s in love with you wouldn’t leave you” argument, but she stated/ showed throughout the relationship that she loved me a lot. The main reason for breaking up was that she felt I wasn’t into the relationship as much as she was. I felt I was quite good at showing her how important she was to me, regularly telling her I loved her, gestures etc. However, I certainly am the more relaxed of the two of us, and didn’t feel the need for constantly re-assuring her, something i now know she needed. I am quite logical about the situation, and I realise that this giving / needing imbalance is a big issue in a relationship. I’m aware of this potentially lingering problem, but I still miss her so much.

I’m don’t want to do anything rash like contacting her out of the blue to tell her I’m still crazy about her. But I would love to give us another chance. I just don’t know what to do. Because she was the dumper, self-pride is also hanging on in the back of my mind stopping me from contacting her.

Justask

advicewanted58 wrote: »

I’m a male in my twenties. My ex-girlfriend and I were going out for just over 10 months, before she ended it a month ago. I’ve gone through break-ups before, and know the immediate hurt dies away after the initial period, but I really feel this time is different. I’m finding it very difficult to forget her and move on, and am still in love with her. We have not seen or spoken to eachother since the break-up. There was no cheating or betrayal involved.

Looking back at it now, the break-up had been coming over the weeks preceding it: small arguments were becoming more frequent. I know I risk being labelled deluded and self-pitying here; but I really feel she still loves me too. I’m aware of the “anyone who’s in love with you wouldn’t leave you” argument, but she stated/ showed throughout the relationship that she loved me a lot. The main reason for breaking up was that she felt I wasn’t into the relationship as much as she was. I felt I was quite good at showing her how important she was to me, regularly telling her I loved her, gestures etc. However, I certainly am the more relaxed of the two of us, and didn’t feel the need for constantly re-assuring her, something i now know she needed. I am quite logical about the situation, and I realise that this giving / needing imbalance is a big issue in a relationship. I’m aware of this potentially lingering problem, but I still miss her so much.

I’m don’t want to do anything rash like contacting her out of the blue to tell her I’m still crazy about her. But I would love to give us another chance. I just don’t know what to do. Because she was the dumper, self-pride is also hanging on in the back of my mind stopping me from contacting her.

Everyone is going to disagree with me here but if I were you I would send her a text "Hi, was just thinking about you, hope your doing well"

If she replies u will know if she doesnt you will have to just move on!

What have you got to lose?

LegacyUser

I'm not sure about the text, but why not arrange to meet up and ask if she is sure her decision was the correct one? You would have to go through the issues surrounding the break up to see if you can both avoid the same things causing problems in future.

At least you'd know.

I am a friend

Justask wrote: »

Everyone is going to disagree with me here but if I were you I would send her a text "Hi, was just thinking about you, hope your doing well"

If she replies u will know if she doesnt you will have to just move on!

What have you got to lose?

I agree (for once). What have you got to lose but before you get back (if you get to that stage) make sure you discuss what broke you up and dont going down the reunite route unless that can be fixed.

Good luck and just the one text.. No need to send more than 1!