Facebook mistake!

LegacyUser

i sent a facebook friend request and message to a new guy in work. we get on well and had no issues. i kinda fancy him but he has a girlfriend so i know he's not looking at me in that way. I sent it last night and he has not accepted or replied. It was a small quick messgae too about something we were talking about. I know he was on facebook since i sent the message as when you request friendship with someone and its pending you can see their status updates. So he decided to ignore my message and not to accept?! Now im mortified. I have given him no idea i fancy him so he can't be threatened by my request. Im friends with other guys in work on facebook and they had no issues. Maybe im just paranoid by this as I like him and he has a girlfiend and is afriad i fancy him? And I know he is off bounds as he has a girlfriend. It will be embarrassing facing him if he does not want to be friends with me on facebook. Wish I didnt sent the stupid request now Any ideas on why he didnt accept my request? Maybe he does not want to mix work with his private life? Although his page is public! thanks

Ken.

Maybe the guy likes to keep work and private life separate.

Is he friend's on facebook with anyone else in work?

A lot of people are afraid that they might get in trouble for stuff said about work on facebook that might be reported back. Some companies regularly check social media to see what staff are saying.

mikemac

Just wondering is he friends with anyone else in work? You have facebook friends in work but does he?
As you say, maybe he wants to keep work separate.

I got on great with my team leader but she wouldn't add me as realy, work and personal. And that's fine, no issue with that.

John Mason

maybe this guy is like me and doesnt accept work colleagues on facebook.

i have two separate lives work and real. neither cross each other.

also sometimes it could take me weeks to accept someone

LegacyUser

op here - i dont think he is friends with anyone else from work. but his page is open so everyone can see all his posts and pics anyways. Ah why did i bother doing this - what a mess! -Will i take the request back or would that look stupid?

ElleEm

You're over thinking this cos you fancy him. Leave it be, he may accept you, he may not.
Don't act strange around him because of it.
I don't accept every friend request I get but I forget about them straight away. He may be the same.

Oryx

This is a big deal to you because you like him and in spite of what you say in your op, it sounds like you would have a crack at him if he showed willing. If you sent a friend request to a female colleague I doubt youd be mortified (or even notice, initally) if they didnt accept it straight away.

Now from his point of view, he gets a friend request from a workmate. No big deal. Maybe he gets many requests and isnt bothered, maybe he keeps a limit on the number of people he has as friends at one time. Whatever the reason, its clear you are not as high on his radar as he is on yours. Thats all there is to it. Dont remove the request, just let it be and stop obsessing on a guy who is not single and that it's not ok to make a move on.

Don't worry about it, don't remove it, and don't think about it any more.

Some people see their facebook account as a reflection or extension of their real-life relationships. Some people don't. This seems to be the difference between you and him. He hasn't taken action on your request, so it clearly doesn't mean anything significant to him. He's not trying to send you a hint or anything, nor is he "afraid" that you fancy him. He just doesn't feel any urge to have you as a facebook friend. It doesn't mean anything, and you really need to ignore it. You're just worrying about the meaning of something that doesn't have any meaning.

Justask

Maybe he hasn't been on facebook since.... Not everyone logs onto facebook everyday.

Either way your best putting it out of you head now.

LegacyUser

op here. i find it strange as he has never mentioned his girlfriend to me at all, but i know he has one. A colleague told me. I was kinda hinting at who he goes out with for drinks and he never said it. Again maybe he does not want to tell me but at the same time he talks about his family and stuff. And he asks when i go home will there be someone wanting to go out for drinks ( i though was he hinting had i a boyf ) and when talking he always looks at my mouth and looks at me intently. But i looked at him when talking to other girls and he was the same, i think. I once caught him looking at me and he looked away quickly embarrassed. But im defo over analysing it. He has a girlfriend and is prob just being friendly. Thats why i sent the request - i thought he was friendly and wouldnt mind me sending him a message. Il try and forget about the facebook request! its no big deal i guess!

LegacyUser

op again - another work colleague ( a girl ) accepted my friend request within 2 hours today. I think I should take my request back... he obviously does not want to be my friend on it. And if I take it back then he won't have to feel awkward to ignore my request, il do it for him. Agreed everyone???

Justask

mortified_next_week wrote: »

op again - another work colleague ( a girl ) accepted my friend request within 2 hours today. I think I should take my request back... he obviously does not want to be my friend on it. And if I take it back then he won't have to feel awkward to ignore my request, il do it for him. Agreed everyone???

To be really honest with you, you are thinking WAY to much about this!

If he accept the request grand if he does'nt grand!
Really what difference is it going to make?? Im a bit confused?

mikemac

You need to relax OP, it's a personal issue thread but realy this isn't worth stressing over.

Leave the request there. If he accepts it before Monday then great.

If he doesn't, well you'll still be talking to him next week in work.

Sure it's a sunny weekend, for all you know he might be in Kerry or Donegal or somewhere for a weekend away and won't even be looking at a computer.

LegacyUser

He accepted this evening. looks like i was jumping the gun eh!

Janet1986

You will know if his facebook goes from public to private all of a sudden that maybe he feels akward about adding you as friend because he knows you fancy him :eek:

spinandscribble

sunflower27 wrote: »

Just leave it. Take back the request and you will look like a lunatic at this stage.

exactly. he'll be like "oh....well guess she took it to heart....hmmm... maybe she's super sensitive or likes me or is weird about facebook..."

btw op you're reading WAY too much into your interactions with him.

asking who someone drinks with regularly is NOT a hint he's trying to find out if you have a bf. He probably asked you that question because you asked him. I know i would in that situation because i'd be thinking "well my friends/co workers maybe, obviously....wait, does she go drinking with people who aren't friends/co workers? who does that leave to drink with i wonder? better ask her..."

op just leave the friend request as is. don't mention it and don't delete it.

Turtwig

OP, it's just a request. If he's anything like me then you'll might have to wait two months before being accepted. (I really ought to pay attention to those notifications but I don't.)

Also, 'befriending' someone on facebook doesn't mean they like you or are your friend. I don't have the numbers at hand but I think like over 70% of facebook users accept people's requests without thinking.

Justask

Lesson to people!!!

DONT TAKE FACEBOOK AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE!!!

*sorry couldnt resist*:eek:

LegacyUser

op here - fair enough - ive been put in my place by the comments here. He does NOT like me, I get it. Just because he is nice to me or asks who go drinking with does not mean he fancies me. Think il try and not to talk to him as much in future and avoid him because to be honost I do like him but alas its not reciprocated. The more I got to know him the more I liked him - so its better to avoid getting to know him any better.

Overheal

The internet... -_-


OP did it cross your mind that perhaps like quite a few gentleman I know, he does not keep female acquaintances on Facebook? My last boss got in trouble with his wife because he had all his ex GFs and things on his profile, for example. Or did you consider like others have said, he doesn't mix facebook with work? Many don't.

You are totally overanalysing. Just forget about it. Whats on telly?

Justask

mortified_next_week wrote: »

op here - fair enough - ive been put in my place by the comments here. He does NOT like me, I get it. Just because he is nice to me or asks who go drinking with does not mean he fancies me. Think il try and not to talk to him as much in future and avoid him because to be honost I do like him but alas its not reciprocated. The more I got to know him the more I liked him - so its better to avoid getting to know him any better.

Oh good god :eek: Not one person here said he didn't like you...

I would love to know how old you are!
Seriously though I can just imagine if he had of accepted the request!:eek:

Right im outta this thread before i say something i get into trouble for

Best of luck to you

LegacyUser

op here - he did accept actaully! sorry when i said not like me- i should have said not fancy me. Someone posted that just because he asks was there anyone waiting at home for me to go out with or is friendly and smily to me does not mean her fancies me. which is right i guess.

Justask

mortified_next_week wrote: »

op here - he did accept actaully! sorry when i said not like me- i should have said not fancy me. Someone posted that just because he asks was there anyone waiting at home for me to go out with or is friendly and smily to me does not mean her fancies me. which is right i guess.

Great

Now do yourself a massive favour and DO NOT post things on his page!!

Just think how you felt when you thought he didn't accept you, you would feel worst if he deletes you!

Rememeber he has a partner.

LegacyUser

lol what do you think i would post on his page??? of course i wont be posting on his page. and i know he has a partner. thats why im going to avoid him from now on in work.

Justask

Sits on hands so I dont post what I want to

Wishing you the best of luck..

Bye now

LegacyUser

well best of luck to you too!! Bye now

Ickle Magoo

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