Bringing sex into relationship

LegacyUser

Hey guys, just looking for a bit of advice here,

I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months now, fairly regularly, going on dates and spending time with each other which I am really enjoying. I suppose you could call us a couple at this stage. Personally I feel the time is right to bring sex into the relationship but I'm unsure how to go about it (all my previous encounters have been 1 night stands where this wasn't an issue). I don't know if I should have some confidence and take the lead to try and iniatiate it some night when she is over at mine or should we talk about it first? What would be the "normal" way to go about things if there is such a thing!

I know this probly sounds stupid and I know everyone is different so I'm just looking for a bit of advice, what are your thoughts on the matter!!

Miss Fluff

Have you come close to doing it? I presume there's been some heavy petting sessions and things have gotten hot and heavy? If so I'd be inclined to just let it happen organically (or orgasmically ) the next time you're getting passionate!

IpreDictDeatH

The normal way is the natural way, if she's turned on go for it. Dude you know all this. If she doesnt seem turned on and you're wondering how to get her to that place, its a different matter.

It's very important that you don't push her about it, because if you do, she'll think that's all you're looking for and nothing else. So, just let it happen organically.

karaokeman

Just talk to her about it and see how she feels.

dixiefly

karaokeman wrote: »

Just stick it in her while your sleeping together and see if she reacts.

?? Kinda inappropriate response....it isnt AfterHours!

OP Miss Fluff has given you the best advice in my opinion.

Otis Driftwood

Karaokeman,I suggest you read the charter before posting here again.

Miss Fluff

karaokeman wrote: »

Just stick it in her while your sleeping together and see if she reacts.

Erm, that would constitute as sexual assault/rape so I really don't f8cking think so :eek:

Esoteric_

karaokeman wrote: »

Just stick it in her while your sleeping together and see if she reacts.

Considering you've posted in PI quite a few times recently looking for advice, I find it atrocious that you're telling someone to essentially rape somebody. I doubt you'll get much decent advice next time you post.


OP, it depends. What stage are you at? Have you guys gotten past the stage of just kissing? If you haven't, take it one step at a time. Have a bit of a grope and see how she reacts, let your breathing get heavier, etc. If you have already been doing the heavy stuff, just not actual sex, then just let it happen naturally because it will!

Ickle Magoo

Can posters please note Karaokeman has been warned not to make posts like that in this forum.

Please keep replies on topic and direct them towards the OP.

If you have an issue with a post or poster, please use the report function rather than dragging the thread off-topic.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

Esoteric_

Sorry man, I'll keep my mouth shut

karaokeman

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Considering you've posted in PI quite a few times recently looking for advice, I find it atrocious that you're telling someone to essentially rape somebody. I doubt you'll get much decent advice next time you post.


OP, it depends. What stage are you at? Have you guys gotten past the stage of just kissing? If you haven't, take it one step at a time. Have a bit of a grope and see how she reacts, let your breathing get heavier, etc. If you have already been doing the heavy stuff, just not actual sex, then just let it happen naturally because it will!

I am very sorry to all posters.

I recieved the warning message and I thoroughly apologise for breaching forum rules.

I wasn't thinking straight when I made that last post and I will try and be more cautious the next time.

I edited my post so it may be more helpful to the OP.

And I probably don't need to post in PI much anymore so that doesn't really matter.

Lon Dubh

Personally I would prefer some sort of chat beforehand, even a brief one, as otherwise the person could make a move before I was ready and freak me out a bit. I might want sex with the person at some point, but not be quite ready when they were, and I would not want them to misinterpret my refusing sex at that specific point with me not being interested at all, ever.

But I am very shy so some of this may not apply to people less shy

It can also be worth having a chat about things like safe sex and contraception beforehand.

It doesn't have to be a big conversation or anything, just a chat to see how the other person feels and to let them know how you feel.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you.

LighterGuy

sexytime??? wrote: »

Hey guys, just looking for a bit of advice here,

I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months now, fairly regularly, going on dates and spending time with each other which I am really enjoying. I suppose you could call us a couple at this stage. Personally I feel the time is right to bring sex into the relationship but I'm unsure how to go about it (all my previous encounters have been 1 night stands where this wasn't an issue). I don't know if I should have some confidence and take the lead to try and iniatiate it some night when she is over at mine or should we talk about it first? What would be the "normal" way to go about things if there is such a thing!

I know this probly sounds stupid and I know everyone is different so I'm just looking for a bit of advice, what are your thoughts on the matter!!

Just go for it man. Thats all you need to do. You're with her 2 months. Its more than time to get sexual.

Next time you're kissing her, let your hands "go free" ... remember the old saying "foreplay first" .... then just bring it to the next level.

LegacyUser

Op here,

Thanks for all the replies, I suppose its just the natural progression and I was over thinking it some-what. We'll see how it goes shur! ;-)

IpreDictDeatH

You can instantly tell if a lady does or doesnt want sex. I think the fact that you're asking this on here means that you just aint getting those vibes from her. From my own experience, if you got to stage where she wanted sex,and u didnt give it to her, the lady would be very upset,and would let you know. Women, in my experience tend to be very good at letting you know they are ready.

karaokeman

I think you should be yourself and just relax for the minute.

I'm still a virgin and have been single for most of my life, so I can't really give you any first-hand knowledge on how you should go about "getting sexy" with her.

But I'd imagine after some foreplay in the bed, you will know when she's ready.

I know this (not from myself obviously) but from stories I've read here and in the papers.

She will let you know when she's ready so till then enjoy your time with her while you can.

Esoteric_

IpreDictDeatH wrote: »

You can instantly tell if a lady does or doesnt want sex. I think the fact that you're asking this on here means that you just aint getting those vibes from her. From my own experience, if you got to stage where she wanted sex,and u didnt give it to her, the lady would be very upset,and would let you know. Women, in my experience tend to be very good at letting you know they are ready.

On the other end of the spectrum, I'm female and I NEVER make it obvious if I want to sleep with someone. Actually, I don't initiate anything for the first few months of a relationship, purely out of shyness. Women don't all let you know if they want sex.