Seriously what was I thinking

LegacyUser

Ok, well I will try to be brief. Basically I kissed a guy at the weekend who I know has a girlfriend. His gf is a a good friend of my sister. This girl is lovely, I've even stayed in her house in the past. I dont know what I was thinking. I am not blaming alcohol and I dont really remember it. It happened cause I like the guy but I never would have acted on it had I not be drunk and as far as my memory stretches I am pretty sure he tired it on with me. But clearly I didnt stop it when I should have, so it is just as much my fault.

I've been going through a very painful break up and I have been drinking more and kissing a fair share of guys. But seriously this is too far. I dont think I can tell her either, their together a fair while. But after kissing him I am fairly sure I am not the only girl he has cheated on his gf with. He has asked me not to tell her and I dont think I can but I also dont know how I will look at the girl again. She comes to my house a fair bit so I cant avoid her.

I dont know who I have become.

Miss Fluff

You need to cut back on the boozing. Finding yourself seven sheets to the wind is not the best way to process a painful breakup.

Mc Kenzie

I think its best not to say anything as it was only a kiss. not to condone it either.
It sounds like yo are not close enough to this girl to tell her he has been cheating. she might think your starting trouble. I know it will be hard to face her but just act as normal as possible.

These things come out in the open eventualy.she must havesome idea or maybe she doesnt want to know can be the case sometimes.

Try and go easy on the drinking you dont have to be locked drunk to have a good time or meet somebody new. have a few drinks and enjoy your night
so you dont have to be worrying about what you did or didnt do thee next day.

Where does the gf be when this guy is away cheating.?? if he is out alot without her thats a sign somethings up

S23

what was i thinking wrote: »

Ok, well I will try to be brief. Basically I kissed a guy at the weekend who I know has a girlfriend. His gf is a a good friend of my sister. This girl is lovely, I've even stayed in her house in the past. I dont know what I was thinking. I am not blaming alcohol and I dont really remember it. It happened cause I like the guy but I never would have acted on it had I not be drunk and as far as my memory stretches I am pretty sure he tired it on with me. But clearly I didnt stop it when I should have, so it is just as much my fault.

I've been going through a very painful break up and I have been drinking more and kissing a fair share of guys. But seriously this is too far. I dont think I can tell her either, their together a fair while. But after kissing him I am fairly sure I am not the only girl he has cheated on his gf with. He has asked me not to tell her and I dont think I can but I also dont know how I will look at the girl again. She comes to my house a fair bit so I cant avoid her.

I dont know who I have become.

As usual we have a 'ohh I did something when I was drunk but I'm not blaming it on that' type post. Immediately followed by the poster the proceeding to blame it on the drink.

Grow up and accept responsibility for your actions. And I mean actually accept responsibility. Don't say you're not blaming it on being drunk and then immediately follow it up by blaming it on just that.

If you can't behave when you drink then don't drink in the first place or dial it back accordingly. Simple really

LegacyUser

S23 wrote: »

As usual we have a 'ohh I did something when I was drunk but I'm not blaming it on that' type post. Immediately followed by the poster the proceeding to blame it on the drink.

Grow up and accept responsibility for your actions. And I mean actually accept responsibility. Don't say you're not blaming it on being drunk and then immediately follow it up by blaming it on just that.

If you can't behave when you drink then don't drink in the first place or dial it back accordingly. Simple really

S23 wrote: »

As usual we have a 'ohh I did something when I was drunk but I'm not blaming it on that' type post. Immediately followed by the poster the proceeding to blame it on the drink.

Grow up and accept responsibility for your actions. And I mean actually accept responsibility. Don't say you're not blaming it on being drunk and then immediately follow it up by blaming it on just that.

If you can't behave when you drink then don't drink in the first place or dial it back accordingly. Simple really

With all due respect she didn't ask for opinions on her drinking. I think we're all guilty of having one too many at times and maybe acting irresponsibly. Anyway, from my perspective it's not really relevant due to this guy being a serial offender. If it hadn't been her it would have been someone else.

OP I would suggest you say nothing. It's not your problem, she's not a close friend. Everyone makes mistakes so just forget about it and concentrate on getting yourself off self -destuct mode. Easy to slip into it after a break up

IrishEyes19

S23 wrote: »

As usual we have a 'ohh I did something when I was drunk but I'm not blaming it on that' type post. Immediately followed by the poster the proceeding to blame it on the drink.

Grow up and accept responsibility for your actions. And I mean actually accept responsibility. Don't say you're not blaming it on being drunk and then immediately follow it up by blaming it on just that.

If you can't behave when you drink then don't drink in the first place or dial it back accordingly. Simple really

Are you for real, if she was drinking of course she is going to mention that she was, she was actually being decent in this post by saying, she understands alcohol isnt an excuse. But why bother lie if she did drink In fact Id be questioning her morals more if she had been stone sober and went ahead and did that and not mentioned that drink was involved.

OP, personally I dont think your morals are in question here, I got the impression you were looking for advice and I agree with some other posters, maybe cut down on the amount you drink as clearly its not something you are happy with. As for the issue with telling or not telling, you really have to come to terms with deciding that for yourself, dont do it for that cheater of a bf, he's only interested in his own backside. You'll have to weigh it up and decide for yourself what you think is the right thing to do. best of luck

S23

Before you drag this off topic and into the realms of being unhelpful by attacking my posts have a read of what I said again.

I never said she shouldn't mention she was drinking. If she wants to mention it then fine. I said she should take responsibility for her actions and not hide behind alcohol as an excuse.

I am not blaming alcohol

Was swiftly followed by

I never would have acted on it had I not be drunk

Saying 'I'm not blaming alcohol but I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for the alcohol' isn't taking responsibility in my book. It's a completely contradictory statement. Plenty of people have a drink without acting in a manner that causes strife in their personal life. That is the point I'm making. If you say 'I'm not blaming the alcohol' then don't use it as an excuse two sentences later.

I stick by that. If drinking causes problems of any kind in anyones life then either cut it out or cut it down to levels the person in question can handle.

I never questioned the girls morals for a second. There are plenty of people who have come on here doing plenty worse things. My advice was simply not to use alcohol as an excuse for anything because it is something that some people (and I don't know the OP obviously) can make a habit of doing.

LegacyUser

[QUOTE=S23;72669919

Saying 'I'm not blaming alcohol but I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for the alcohol' isn't taking responsibility in my book. It's a completely contradictory statement. Plenty of people have a drink without acting in a manner that causes strife in their personal life. That is the point I'm making. If you say 'I'm not blaming the alcohol' then don't use it as an excuse two sentences later.
[/QUOTE]

Ok I can see what it looks like I am blaming alcohol but I understand that it didnt happen only because of alcohol. I do fancy him so it wasnt like it just materalised cause I was drunk.

I am going away with them and a few other people in a few days and I cant get out of it so I guess I will just have to suck it up and not kiss people I shouldnt if I dont want to feel like this. I dont think I will tell her, I know people have said she's not a great friend of mine but she has been around my house since I can remember and she has been there for me before and she is very good to me. Also yes though if it hadnt been me I imagine it would have been someone else, cause he doesnt even seem bothered by what happened! And he gets away with it because he goes out alone a lot

Fentdog84

S23, I think you are the one going off topic here but you do have a point.
Look, they are both equally to blame here. They both knew what they were doing. And i dont subscribe to this notion that when a girl gets drunk, she becomes defenceless and powerless to stop a guy kissing her and that if it happens it is assumed that its all the guys fault and he was just taking advantage(but it can often be the case).

People react in different ways to drink but it can NEVER be an excuse. It wouldnt stand up in court in the case of a drink driver knocking someone down. So, OP i guess there is a lesson to be learned. Wouldnt think it would do anyone any good blabbing about it. Maybe the guy does feel bad about it afterwards and is afraid for his relationship. I mean if he was a serial cheater type he'd probably be coming back to you for seconds. Just treat it as a once off and forget about it. And watch the booze.

I am a friend

what was i thinking wrote: »

she's not a great friend of mine but she has been around my house since I can remember and she has been there for me before and she is very good to me.

Then you have to tell her. Do you want her marrying a guy who isnt faithful to her..

If you want to be good to her too then you absolutely must tell her. It would be a bigger 'sin' not to...