Office Politics - What am I doing wrong?

opalsphere

Did any of you ever have a work colleague who was really nice (even fun?) to be with if you were working alone together but then either ignored or was indifferent toward you when you were with others? I experienced this for years with various people in my old position with my line manager and staff, but they were all quite back-biting toward one another anyway and I was always very careful regarding what I said to them.

However, what is surprising me is that now that I am in a higher ranking position and go to frequent national meetings I am witnessing the same behaviour. As I have been in my current job for nearly three years now I am often contacted by newer centre managers for advice, which I always give freely if I can help and have always gone out of my way to be approachable and friendly. Yet, at the last meeting we had, I was completely ignored by a colleague from another regional office, even though she telephoned me for over half an hour one day to get a problem solved. It's not just an isolated incident. I have noticed it a lot.

My question really is, do any of you do this to others and if so, what is the reason? I'd like to check if there is something that I am saying which might alienate me.

Other factors: I am not Irish but have lived here for twenty years. (Although I don't think that this is a factor because many of the regional staff are not Irish either.) I do not have a personal hygiene problem, nor do I wear cheap perfume. I have never been described as boring. Quite the opposite in fact and I have lots of friends. I am also educated to Masters Degree and am both confident and successful so can not be considered dumb either.

Please help. All criticism, suggestions welcome.

fasty

You aren't doing anything wrong except maybe trying to hard to please people perhaps? People are often only nice when they want something or have to be. Don't let it bother you, your colleagues are not your friends.

filthymcnasty

If this is impacting your ability to do your job properly by their lack of communication you have every right to raise it with your superior.
If it is just at a social level I would not get too worked up about it, particularly if these are just colleagues you don't have to meet up with that often.

Think twice about assisting those who will just ignore you later- i'm not being petty but why should you if thats how they are reacting. Strange carry-on for what you describe as 'newer' managers. At this point in their careers they need you more than you need them.

Monotype

I believe that people will ignore you more at gatherings if they don't see you as stepping a stepping stone to further their own career. They will also sometimes avoid passing credit which could diminish their own image.