Son with potential....

Witchie

I think....or maybe I am just being a proud mammy but was wondering if you think that my 13 year old son has potential as a poet. He has written poetry since he was about 5 or 6 but recently seems to be getting more into it and I want to encourage it, if he is any good so am going to post 2 of his most recent ones (first one was for school and had to have various qualities such as assonance, personification etc so a little more restricted whereas the 2nd was just home written one coz the words came to him when lying in bed.)



Stalingrand 1942

Bombs blasting my eardrums,
Like a lion roaring joyfully
The Nazi fighters zooming overhead
Like great birds of the skies above
I fire my trustworthy rifle,
My only friend in this world
My still childish imagination
Is my only shield from this blood and gore
Then in came the chopper,
A beacon of hope
It carries us away
To live another day.



Beached

I stand and watch the bountiful sea
Waiting for a sign to appear to me
I am too cowardice to venture ahead
Along it’s deep sea bed.

I see my friends out on a boat
They look to me as if to gloat
But as I walk this sandy beach
Their bitter stares lose their reach.

As I roam the beach forever long
I can feel an anger growing strong
This inner anger does not hush
As I await its vigorous push.

I light a fire as dark grows near
Its gentle crackle is all I hear
This little fire starts to roar
A true reflection of myself on this shore.


Any feed back on how I should encourage him (if I should) would be gratefully appreciated!

DangerMouse27

Theres something not right about 13 year olds writing about Nazis

Witchie

It was the class assignment. They had been reading bout ww2. He is fascinated by history as well tho.

godspal

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/article/335
http://www.resort.com/~prime8/Orwell/patee.html

Using language as economically as possible is essential for any poet. His poetry meanders in places, trying to capture the "big picture". Definitely encourage him though, if he's 13 now he can easily learn the most difficult aspects of poetry.

@DangerMouse27 the nazi party may be an abhorrent stain on history but they are certainly fascinating, especially when you consider the sheer amount of historical literature dedicated to them, what teenager wouldn't be drawn to them in some sort of creative manner?

EDIT: If you want to encourage do a few things with him, bring to a bookshop to pick up a few books, look out for events like poetry slams etc, and try not to pressure him, try to bond over his love poetry.

Insect Overlord

There's no need to be economical with words if you're 13 years old.

With regards to the first poem above, my only concern would be the historical accuracy of it. I don't believe helicopters were used to evacuate soldiers at Stalingrad. The rest of the poem works quite well. Those details of accuracy will fix themselves as your son learns more on his journey through secondary school/life.

The rhythm of the second poem isn't consistent, but that will come with practice as well. Do you have any poetry anthologies for children/teenagers that he could read? There's some nice poetry on the Junior Cert English course, but it's important to be able to read poetry for enjoyment as well as for exams.

godspal

There's no need to be economical with words if you're 13 years old.

If he starts being economical early he can achieve amazing things. The earlier he learns the better his poetry will be when he's older.

Insect Overlord

godspal wrote: »

If he starts being economical early he can achieve amazing things. The earlier he learns the better his poetry will be when he's older.

Part of me agrees with you. At the same time, I think it's important to experiment with adverbs and adjectives. Language development has to be encouraged as well as craft.

Witchie

Thanks for the feedback etc!

I have brought him to poetry readings and stuff at Electric picnic and the Flat Lakes Festival but mite look out for other ones during the summer.

Cheers again.

TheBlueHaze

Sorry to take things slightly off topic, but while your at it, buy him a guitar and perhaps push him into songwriting. If he can write poetry, then perhaps he can write songs. And well, you know what they say " if they buy a guitar, and can write poetry, then perhaps they can write songs too"

Witchie

He has several guitars but since guitar hero was bought, he has less interest in the real thing! He also has drums and is studying music for Junior Cert and have spoken to his teacher about encouraging him to play guitar. His dad is a fantastic musician and I have asked him to teach him but he hasnt really bothered so hoping the school mite encourage it.

He is well into music (Greenday, James Brown & The Clash among others!) so he will hopefully find his way to this.

DangerMouse27

I think kudos to him, a very talented young chap,i would certainly encourage him. As for the Stalingrad 1942 one. Im not so sure, i have this thought that alot of poetry must feel very lived in by those writing it. Only someone who knows death or seen it can maybe write effectively on it.

Yeah there is great poetry written post events by many people but not from an age of someone as young as 13. The bombs dropping does invoke a very powerful image, but of a lion roaring in joy? im not so sure about that.
Ha its easy to forget he is only 13!
Kudos again.

Antilles

Witchie wrote: »

He is well into music (Greenday, James Brown & The Clash among others!) so he will hopefully find his way to this.

This kid is 13 and listens to James Brown and The Clash? :-o

And he's interested in writing?

Hell yeah encourage him! The world could do with hearing from more of his sort.

Happyman42

Don't hothouse or swamp him....let the words flow for now. As a good artist only he can decide which roads he will take at the many crossroads he meets in his writing life. I would never influence a 13 yr old to formalise or over edit himself. He has to make mistakes that 'he recognises as mistakes'. If anything teach him NOT to be precious.
If you feel you need to do something, fill the house with other poetry, keep bringing him to the likes of Flat Lake, above all stimulate and fill his pockets with stones to throw at the establishment!